Gut Rumbles

May 12, 2006

gross insensitivity

I don't want to hear any more bitching about greedy oil companies and their fat-cat executive salaries when we have this kind of bullshit coming from lawyers. At least oil companies produce something other than gigantic pains in my ass.

A Los Angeles psychologist who was denied a tote bag during a Mother's Day giveaway at an Angel game is suing the baseball team, alleging sex and age discrimination.

Poor baby!!! Those meanies didn't give him a Mother's Day tote bag. When slammed with that kind of insult, what else is a man to do except whine and sue?

I realize that this IS California, where whining and suing are activities almost as popular as celebrity protests and environmental fuckwittery, but this crap is pure damnfool even by Nutbowl State standards. Gimme a break. If this guy demanded a Mother's Day tote bag, why didn't people simply look at him, furrow their brows and say, "Dude... you ain't right in the head."

THAT would be a common sense reaction--- but common sense died the Death of a Thousand Cuts a long time ago. It was eradicated, piece by piece, in the High Court of Political Correctness and Perpetual Grievance, and I am amazed to realize that I saw it happen in MY lifetime.

People, excuse me, but I'm mourning here. My darling ex-wife was correct when she once accused me of having a "Beaver Cleaver" set of life values.

I thought about that remark long and hard after my divorce and the shit-storm that THAT fiasco involved, and I came to an irrefutable conclusion: I really do.

Believe it or not, but I AM Beaver Cleaver. From my hillbilly roots to the top of my now-thinning gray silver hair, I MUST be, because this case makes no sense to me whatsoever. I see a shitass at work here--- and even little Beaver Cleaver recognized Eddie Haskell for what he really was.

In MY humble opinion, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to tell right from wrong. In fact, it's pretty fucking simple, as long as you don't suffer from sensitivity paralysis, that unreasonable fear of being "insensitive," which drives LOTS of people crazy anymore. (There's a big difference between "sensitivity" and "neurosis," but that line is blurred today.)

So, after much study upon the matter, I have decided to be judgmental: Mr. Cohn and Mr. Rava--- you, sirs, are shameless assholes. If I WERE Beaver Cleaver, I would egg your houses. I would set fire to bags of dogshit on your front porches, ring your doorbells and run away laughing in the night. I would deliver your newspapers by throwing them in the bushes. I know LOTS of childish pranks that I can pull on you.

Kinda like this childish prank of a lawsuit.


"The first thing we do," said the character in Shakespeare's Henry VI, is "kill all the lawyers."

To which I add: The second thing we do is "kill all those who would WILLING hire them!"

Posted by: Maggie on May 12, 2006 12:10 PM

It's sad, but I've seen the same sort of shit, & I'm only 41. Of course, here in the hills, things happen a decade or two later than in the rest of the world (the Sixties made it to Tennessee about 1975).
I'm no Beaver Cleaver, maybe more Huck Finn, but the principle is the same.

Posted by: Tennessee Budd on May 12, 2006 12:44 PM

I don't see the problem here... the guy wants a bag... they won't give him a bag because he has no coochie... he doesn't have the balls to go get his own coochie... (which I understand is reasonably easy to do in CA, but painful and extremely difficult to undo)... he seemingly can't hire a coochie carrier to get the bag for him, and thus he is denied the constitutionally protected right not to have his coocchie coo bag withheld without probable cause. Simple case... open and shut... probably will not even require a jury trial. In fact, my guess is that the coochie bag denying Caliofornia Angels of Los Angeles will probably settle the case early for $150,000 and a visit to the team locker room. Does this not seem the Amerikan way? Is this not the natural progression of our insistence upon not changing our tort laws? Does it not follow that after you have been rewarded for burning your own lap with your own coffee... and after you have been rewarded for losing your leg when the SUV you were piloting at twice the legal speed limit rolled over on you... and after you have been rewarded for placing your 37" television at the front of your dresser and hanging a climbing rope off of the front of it, thereby causing your 2 year old to crush himself while trying to change the channel... does it not follow that you should be rewarded for not owning your own cocchie???

I rest my case...

Oh my aching ass.

(I wonder who I can sue for that?)

Posted by: John V. on May 12, 2006 01:03 PM

I match this one with the article about the beloved Dixie Chicks appearing on CNN and talking about scared they were when after they spoke out about how terrible Bush was while they were overseas and someone threatened them. This all came out years ago so why now again? Later in the article we find that they have a new CD coming out on May 23.

Con't people realize that there are limits to what they can do without some reality stepping in? I really do wonder if anyone these days is taught that actions have reactions and that there are limits to what can be done. There are also requirements for some things to be available. If you don't meet the requirements you don't get it.

Posted by: dick on May 12, 2006 01:37 PM

Seems to me that, to the extent the guy had a beef, if at all, he was made whole when he received the damned bag in the mail.

Posted by: Jim -PRS on May 12, 2006 01:42 PM

I live in California, so I have to put up with
these crazy-ass antics 24/7. What I heard on a local radio station out here was that the Angeles sent Mr. Cohn FOUR of those dopy PINK bags after he pitched a fit and stamped his little feet when he didn't get one LAST Mother's Day. Apparently he's been nursing hurt feelings for an entire year. What a prissy weasel. Mrs. Cohn must be so proud of her little bundle of joy. Please bear in mind that the proper name of the Angeles is now the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim...LA being in one county and Anaheim being in another county 40 miles down the freeway. That nonsense was tied up in court for months. Makes about as much sense as renaming the Georgia MLB club the Atlanta Braves of Peoria. Insane, I tell you, insane.

Posted by: Granny on May 12, 2006 03:06 PM

I still say they should drag that state out into the Pacific, since it seems to be run like a different country.

Posted by: BobG on May 12, 2006 05:10 PM

Very well written but very sad it happened. Why don't we have some judges who 'splain to certain people that they are completely insane?

Posted by: Renee on May 12, 2006 05:41 PM

If he gets the bag, then dammit I want a mitre saw and a Home Depot gift card for Father's Day.

Posted by: BabsRN on May 12, 2006 10:25 PM

This lawsuit is by a "Phychologist". A Phychotic Phychologist. How would you like to be one of his patients. If you thought you were screwed up when you went to see him, what the hell would you be when he got done with you? Ready for the rubber room motel?

Posted by: Scrapiron on May 12, 2006 11:24 PM

The Angels sent him four bags after he complianed. Surely that will cover oll of his tranny outfits?

Posted by: hoosierboy on May 13, 2006 08:46 AM

Some time back, as I was going into an office building, I noticed several young ladies were giving out free samples to the ladies which were ahead of me. So, when I reached them, I stuck my hand out for a sample too. The girl said, "Oh no, they're not for you." At first,I thought, why not? Then I noticed they were giving away samples of a feminine hygiene pad. I didn't think about suing at the time.


Posted by: Gerald Williams on May 13, 2006 09:30 AM

You sound a lot like me. I'm just a regular white working stiff in the deep south who's sick and tired of putting up with the politically correct assholes who are ruining our country and our way of life. I think it all started with LBJ's "Great Society". Yeah, just look at how great it's become. We've gone from being able to just live our lives like normal people to living in a nightmare world where everybody's way of life consists of staying offended for one ridiculous reason or another. About the only ones who can truly say they like this mess nowadays are probably the $250 an hour lawyers.

Posted by: Robert Wayne on February 17, 2007 12:40 AM
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