Gut Rumbles

April 16, 2006

bits and pieces

*I went to visit my 94 year-old grandmother today. I wore a bright red Jawja Bulldogs tee shirt. She was sitting outside on her patio when I arrived, and as I was greeted by the joyous cavorting of her dog, Fancy, I heard Mommie say, "I can't see who that is, but I CAN see that pretty red shirt." She'll be 95 next month, and I'm going to wear that shirt more often when I go to see her--- so she can see me.

*A few of the neighborhood kids rang my doorbell this morning and offered to cut my grass AND wash my car for $40. We negotiated. I finally got them to do both jobs for $10. I should be ashamed of myself for exploiting child labor that way, but I would rather just think of myself as a damn good negotiator.

*A new Gallup Poll was released today. 60% of people responding disapprove of the way President Bush is handling the weather.

*I'm not a Catholic, so it's none of my business. But I think the Pope needs a new hairdresser. He looks like a silver-haired Jimmy Neutron with the coif he has now.

*An environmentalist made a shocking announcement today when he called a press conference to say, "We're NOT all gonna die!"

*Cynthia McKinney celebrated Easter today by declaring that the Easter Bunny is a Jew-loving white racist. When questioned further on the matter, she declared that the reporters were Jew-loving white racists, too, for daring to ask her any questions. She ended her press conference after accusing the Pope of being a white racist Jew with a bad hairdo.

*A total of 21,637,888 Easter eggs were hidden for various hunts today. 19,987,076 eggs were discovered, leaving 1,650,812 brightly colored eggs to rot in the bushes somewhere. Chickens plan a protest in Washington DC tomorrow. It's for the children.

*See how easy blogging is?



Man, that reminded me of the news segment on Laugh-In...

Posted by: Stevie on April 16, 2006 09:06 PM

That ain't funny. It ain't.

Posted by: Shawn on April 17, 2006 01:12 AM

"*An environmentalist made a shocking announcement today when he called a press conference to say, "We're NOT all gonna die!""

Naw, by tomorrow he will have changed his mind mumbeling something about a regelious event or such temporarily clouding his sobriety!!

Posted by: TC on April 17, 2006 02:40 AM
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