Gut Rumbles

April 07, 2006

trivia question

I just fixed myself a genuine, gut-buster of a hamburger. It's a 1/3 pound ground chuck patty, with bacon, lettuce, tomato, Monteray Jack cheese and a thick slice of sweet onion, all on a large sesame seed bun. It's got hot Chinese mustard on the bottom slice of bun and Blue Plate mayonnaise on the top. The only thing missing is some kosher pickle slices. Yum, yum!

What do you like on YOUR hamburger?


A1 steak saouce.
Mixing in an egg and garlic pepper into the chuck adds a nice flavor too.

Posted by: Terry on April 7, 2006 04:49 PM

... everything but tomato...

Posted by: Eric on April 7, 2006 04:50 PM

I like mine just like that except with sharp cheddar cheese, hold the bacon, and yellow mustard. (Chinese mustard!? Cracker, please...)

Posted by: middy on April 7, 2006 04:50 PM

ditto Eric...

maybe grill the onions? Either way, it sounds damn fine to me!!!

Posted by: the other Steph on April 7, 2006 05:17 PM

That will do just fine!

Posted by: Rey B on April 7, 2006 05:19 PM

I make two thin patties (handling the beef least amount possible). ...toast some onion in a skillet....put a layer of toasted onion on top of first pattie...a layer of chopped green chilies...sprinkle some sharp cheddar...then cover with second pattie and gently pinch sides together. Then, either fry in skillet with small amount of oil or grill outdoors...serve with choice of mustard. Delish!

Posted by: Tessa on April 7, 2006 05:23 PM

we grind our own hamburger....( that grinder was the best money spent!) yum, sharp chedder cheese,lettuce, tomato, sweet onion, (cooked or raw either one) mayo, mustard, sweet relish AND.....a big dollop of homemade potatoe salad on the side. Fine now I'm hungry...:)

Posted by: Jackie on April 7, 2006 05:31 PM

I like halibut burgers on the grill with melted colby cheese, tarter sauce, lettuce and tomato.

I don't eat cow either, I use buffalo burger. It is much better tasting and much better for you.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on April 7, 2006 05:33 PM

"Halibut burgers"? No cow? How did that get into a conversation about hamburgers? Jeesuss! You got it right Rob. Don't let yourself be corrupted by all this other crap masquerading as a hamburger.

Posted by: Ol' Lurker on April 7, 2006 05:55 PM

Ditto....but you didn't cover the most important part of a burger.....


Just one step away from "mooing"!

Posted by: Maggie on April 7, 2006 06:11 PM

Gas is up to 2.56 a gallon for unleaded and 2.85 for high test.

Posted by: Catfish on April 7, 2006 06:11 PM

I prefer ground bison, and like jalepenos and sauerkraut instead of pickles on it.

Posted by: BobG on April 7, 2006 06:20 PM

Upper Bun
Miracle Whip
Dill Pickles
Thin-sliced red onion
Muenster cheese
Garlic Salt
Medium Rare Beef Patty
Cheddar cheese
Sandwich-Slice sweet pickles
Heinz 57 sauce
Lower Bun

Best have a couple of napkins handy!

Posted by: El Capitan on April 7, 2006 06:21 PM

Bitch, I am partial to furburgers.

Posted by: TomCat on April 7, 2006 06:50 PM

The way you fix it sounds great. When I make a burger, I like cheddar cheese, lettuce, red onion, pickles, mayo and mustard.

Posted by: Renee on April 7, 2006 07:23 PM

at least a half pound of medium rare ground chuck or ground round cooked with a couple of slices of sharp cheddar on it. Sweet Georgia onion is a must. Prefer home grown slab of tomato, ice berg lettuce and sliced kosher dills. I like that Grey Poo poo mustard shit and I want the buns toasted and forget about the damn sesame seed stuff. If I want nuts I'll get some boiled goobers.

Posted by: GUYK on April 7, 2006 07:47 PM

"I like mine with lettuce and tomato,
Heinz 57 and french fried potato,
big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer.
Good G_d almighty which way do I steer!"

Jimmy Buffet - "Cheese Burger in Paradise"

Posted by: Roy on April 7, 2006 07:54 PM

Medium rare, swiss, avocado, bacon, mayo and bbq sauce. YUM!

Posted by: Shawna on April 7, 2006 08:00 PM

That sounds good to me. Usually, I just like a bit of mayo, and slice of cheeze on mine. Simple man with simple tastes.

Posted by: Sarge on April 7, 2006 08:04 PM

Start with the beef. Mix salt, pepper, and cayenne in the meat. Bottom bun is miracle whipped. Lettuce (butter, bibb, whatever, just not iceberg) between the bottom bun and the patty. Either red onions or vidalias on top, but make sure the rings are seperated, not just a big slice of onion. Now put on good amount of a really zingy mustard, like strong horseradish or dijon. Just a touch of ketchup. Slap a giant tomato slice on top, and the mustard lives under the tomato in the spaces in the onion. Bun on top. The bun is a nice kaiser roll, sliced, and toasted. Perfect. Even better if the patty is cooked over charcoal. But sometimes, I just douse the patty during cooking with loads of hot sauce and curry powder, and eat it with mustard and miracle whip between two slices of toasted rye.

And to hell with fries. Roasted red potatoes with lawry's seasoned salt.

But damn, that green chili and onion version... That's getting tested.

Posted by: Ted on April 7, 2006 08:08 PM

Another perfectly acceptable side dish to the hamburger is onion rings made with vidalias and a light tempura batter.

Posted by: Ted on April 7, 2006 08:19 PM

I like the cannibal burger...Raw beef with mustard, onions, and salt, pepper, and garlic powder...

Thats it.

Posted by: Steph on April 7, 2006 08:42 PM

I like to use ground sirloin instead of ground chuck, it's a little more expensive but has more protein and less fat. Seems to taste better in my opinion as well.

As far as fixins ... that really varies depending on how I'm feeling any given day.

Posted by: Josh on April 7, 2006 09:06 PM

I like to mix BBQ sauce & minced onion into the hamburger before I make the patties and BBQ them that way... on top, I like lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard (sweet onion kind is best),hamburger relish, and cheddar cheese. Big & Nasty - but only when I'm really craving one and only BBQ'd..

Posted by: Lisa on April 7, 2006 09:30 PM

sliced bread instead of buns....

Posted by: RONW on April 7, 2006 09:43 PM

1000 Island dressing on the burger is really good with bacon and Swiss...

...maybe a pinch of (not kidding) cinnamon in the beef... but just a small pinch or it will overpower everything. Done right, it adds a nice, subtle sweetness under all the greasy beef goodness.

...also, crust the pepper in cracker peppercorn and sear it before grilling... maybe a sprinkle of kosher salt on top.

Posted by: andy on April 7, 2006 09:57 PM


Posted by: michael on April 7, 2006 10:11 PM

Jalapeno! And that new spicy mayo from Kraft is pretty damn good too. Later.

Posted by: John on April 7, 2006 10:26 PM

Worchestershire sauce and pepper in the meat before it hits the grill. The slice of cheese goes on right before I pull the meat off so it melts.

Then a slice of vidalia onion, a slice of tomato, some brown mustard.

Simple and to the point.

Posted by: LL on April 7, 2006 10:46 PM

Mix ground sirloin with the following:
soy sauce
worchestershire sauce
garlic....lots of garlic
a dash of maple syrup
fresh ground black pepper

My measurements are usually a pinch of this, a splash of that. Mix in the above seasonings to taste. Do not use salt.....the soy and worchestershire take over for that.

Grill or pan fry a good size patty about an inch thick. Garnish with the best onion you can find.

After that, you're on your own: ketchup, mustard, mayo, pickles. spicy sauces, hummus, avocado. Whatever turns you on!

Posted by: DogsDontPurr on April 7, 2006 11:32 PM

Everything except pickles. Steak sauce is great on hamburgers.

Posted by: Kevin on April 7, 2006 11:55 PM

Everything you put on yours except the mustard can't be hot (poor Yankee wimp stomach of mine), and I'd add avocado.

I take it your stomach is feeling better? : )

Posted by: A Different Kim on April 8, 2006 12:37 AM

Make yourself two thin patties of your meat of choice (I like ground sirloin), then top one of them with a big old blob of stinky crumbled blue cheese. Add the second patty on top, pinch the edges together, and grill as normal.

Ummmm, ummmm, good...

Posted by: Virgil on April 8, 2006 01:11 AM

I put mustard and onions on mine. Although sometimes I like quacamole as a change of pace. I'm simple in tastes for hamburger. Growing up my mom would fix hamburger patties (no buns) with fried potatoes and greens or corn for dinner. One of my favorite meals. And of course chopped steak is what I am known for ordering when I go out to a place that has it.

Posted by: RayH on April 8, 2006 06:57 AM

I would never dare to tell Americans how to make hamburgers (some suggestions I have made in the past have turned mild mannered men into raging ferals)

But.... in Australia, a proper burger needs beetroot (aka pickled beet, the purple stuff) to be edible.

*runs for cover*

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on April 8, 2006 10:46 AM

Being the lazy butt, I've scoured the world for good eats..A place in the Pacific Northwest called Red Robin (there might be one near you) has a gut bomb called the Royal Red Robin burger, with lean ground beef, bacon, cheese, tomato, pickles, lettuce, mayo, and the crem de la crem...A fried egg...Plus endless ranch fries...Life should be so good..

Posted by: jim on April 8, 2006 11:43 AM

If you enjoy spicy burgers, in Austin they used to make something called a Primo at a place called Mad Dog's by the UT campus. I finally figured out how to make one after years of effort. More cleanup, but great taste:

Ground chuck
raw onion
raw jalapeno
raw bacon
worcestershire sauce

All in a Cuisinart or other food processor with the blade attachment so it gets hacked and mushed together. Then make medium thick patties and cook slow, between 12-20 minutes depending on thickness. Best burger ever. Made them for 20 people last summer at a friend's birthday party and literally every single person wanted the recipe, and half of them said it was the best burger they had ever had.

If you don't like spicy, dump the jalapenos and just use onion and bacon. I tried precooking the veggies and bacon to cut down on grill time, but the burgers don't hold together when you do that.

Virgil and Tessa have a great idea with the double burger with stuff in between, Mad Dog's used to make it with cheddar, chopped tomato and chopped onion. The called it the Brovine. You need low heat and a long time to keep from burning the meat or undercooking the innards.

Posted by: Uncle Mikey on April 8, 2006 02:54 PM

I'll second the motion on the Blue Plate mayonnaise. It's the best mayo going. And Rodenberry's kosher dill pickles.

Posted by: Jay on April 8, 2006 03:07 PM

I like my burgers fairly plain - I actually like the flavor of beef - but I'll add either chopped green olives if I want the tang, or kimchi if I'm looking for something different than the usual onion.

And a little mayo on the bun.

Posted by: Russ on April 8, 2006 04:31 PM

I'm so boring. Give me some kind of hefty toasted bun with a slice of real tomato if you got it, ketchup if you don't, some lettuce and mayonaisse and I'm happy enough.

Posted by: Libby on April 8, 2006 08:24 PM

It's got ... Blue Plate mayonnaise on the top.


Posted by: McGehee on April 8, 2006 08:34 PM

Grilled onions, lettuce, tomato and mustard. It's the American way!

Posted by: Cappy on April 8, 2006 09:15 PM

we had some good burgers in australia this winter. if you order one with everything, they call it 'the lot' you get all the same stuff we use and pickled beets instead of pickles, a fried egg and big thick slices of bacon. the egg and bacon I could do without; but, the pickled beets are great on it.

Posted by: lg on April 9, 2006 11:04 AM

Mayo? On a burger?

Culinary Treason!

Posted by: Mr. Lion on April 9, 2006 04:08 PM

A pile of bacon, a nice hunk of ground chuck either grilled over wood or fried in the bacon grease, lettuce, swiss cheese, and mayo. Brown mustard can be substituted for mayo, or added. The burger also requires a liberal coating of pepper, and possibly some garlic.

Posted by: Grand Fromage on April 9, 2006 06:58 PM

large handful of dill pickle slices
at least 3 or 4 kinds of cheese
several slices thick cut pepper bacon
> 1/2 pound burger, no more than 80% lean, prepared med/rare to med.

BBQ sauce of choice, (partial to Famous Dave's Texas Pit myself)

all of the above , on a buttered and grilled Kaiser Roll , accompainied by a beer of choice and an entire roll of paper towels.

Of course, this usually requires turning a hose, or at least the sink sprayer on my beard to clean the food out of it, but that's another story..........

Posted by: Grant on April 11, 2006 08:04 AM
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