Gut Rumbles

March 29, 2006

that's low--- even for a cat

The six toes on each foot is a dead giveaway that something is badly wrong with Lewis, my personal choice for Fucked-Up Cat of the Week. This one is so got-dam evil that it even attacked the Avon Lady. That's low--- even for a cat.

But Lewis is in real trouble now. He's got a restraining order issued against his ass.

Animal Control Officer Rachel Solveira placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield.

In effect, Lewis is under house arrest, forbidden to leave his home.

The fucker'll get red-flagged trying to go through Customs at the airport now, which serves the bastid right for having six toes and attacking the Avon Lady. I could understand lighting claw-first into a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses, because they are annoying people, but the AVON LADY? That's just un-American. Even cats should know better than that.

The Restraining Order isn't going to work. Cats don't think rules apply to them, so Lewis ain't gonna pay any attention to legal paperwork except to hack up a hairball on it and go out to terrorize again whenever he feels like it. No, this situation calls for more extreme measures.

Lewis needs to be dragged off and shot.


When pussies are outlawed, only outlaws will be pussies.

Posted by: robert on March 29, 2006 12:43 PM

And we have our first "dragged-off-and-shot" post since the Great Gut Rumbles Belly Unzippering of 2006!

Folks, the Acidman is back!!! Whoo hoo!

Welcome back, Rob!

Posted by: Scott on March 29, 2006 12:54 PM

I'm a full bore, red-blooded cat lover. And I've had cats with six toes, it is not that unusual.

But the fact that this cat is stalking humans is not funny and the cat needs to be put down.

This actually happened to me with a cat my mother was "fostering" from the animal shelter. Whenever I would visit, it would stalk me wherever I went in the house and attack. We thought it was just something about me he didn't like (perfume?).

Then when the cat went to another house, the cat started stalking a member of that house. A child. It was put down, humanely at the shelter. There was something wrong with it's head, that's for sure.

We Yankees euthanize a bit more humanely than a .22, but we still do it. Restraining order, my caboose!

Posted by: A Different Kim on March 29, 2006 04:30 PM

Good to have you back - and a cat and shooting post to boot....

Posted by: Lisa W on March 29, 2006 04:31 PM

Hmmm... It sounds like to me Lewis' owner is the one that needs to be dragged off and shot. Of course the poor cat will probably pay the price for its owner stupidity. On the other hand, if I had an owner that was that stupid, I would want someone to put me down too. I'll bet good money that this cat attacks people because the owner is a gotdam dumbass that mistreated the cat until it doesn't like people.

Posted by: assrot on March 29, 2006 06:51 PM

Hey, I guarantee I can turn Lewis into a first class Kage Kittie!

(copy and paste in new window)

Posted by: marcl on March 29, 2006 08:59 PM
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