Gut Rumbles

March 08, 2006

it oughta be a crime!

I think it's a crying shame that more people DON'T get this kind of ticket from the police in the USA. I've seen my ex-wife do it dozens of times: hauling ass down Highway 21 at 65 MPH, steering with her knees and applying makeup with the rear-view as her dressing room mirror.

She was not alone, either. I've seen COUNTLESS wimmen do the same thing and it always chaps my ass--- almost as much as the dickweeds do who can't seem to drive ANYWHERE without having a cell phone stuck to their heads. Gimme a careful drunk on the road ANY time over those cretins.

I have to ask: WTF? Are you such a poor time-manager that you can't possibly apply your war-paint BEFORE leaving the house? Is your life so fucking BUSY that you can't go fifteen minutes without talking to someone on the phone? Do you REALLY believe that you're a safe driver when you are barreling down the road at 65 MPH, looking at YOUR face in a mirror, yakking to someone else on the phone, drinking a cup of hot coffee and eating a glazed doughnut at the same time? If you DO, you're a got-dam nitwit.

I don't call that behavior "multi-tasking." I call it unsafe, self-centered, irresponsible bullshit. Most people I see on the highway have their hands full just trying to pilot a got-dam automobile down the road without ramming somebody else. They don't need ANY distractions to make them more of a rolling death threat than they already are.

But you see 'em every day. Armies of assholes.

In Jawja, we have laws forbidding "open containers" of alcoholic beverages in automobiles. It's just too bad that the "open container" doesn't apply to the empty brain-pans of some drivers.


Somewhere about the middle of my top ten shit list is the dizzy younl thing that stops at a redlight with me behind her and procced to apply makeup and comb her hair-of course not watching for the light to change. About the time she notices it is green--after I have set on the horn for a while- she hauls ass just in time for me to catch the redlight again. If there is a hell there must be a special place reserved for these kind of rude people.

Posted by: GUYK on March 8, 2006 07:27 PM

On the idiots with phones stuck in their ear(like the one that damn near hit me this morning), we don't need 'no cell phone use while driving' laws; we've already got reckless and careless driving laws.

And if that crap doesn't qualify, what does?

Posted by: Mark on March 8, 2006 07:33 PM

Stopped at a red light a few years ago and watched the guy in the next lane down an ENTIRE six pack before the light turned green!!Gospel truth. Have seen multiple people barreling down the highway with newspapers spread over their steering wheel and lately laptops!! People shave, dress, put on makeup and yes those stupid cell phones.

Posted by: maxnnr on March 8, 2006 07:58 PM

I don't have a cell phone. I'm so got-damn important people have to leave a message and wait for me to get back to them.

People who have to use a cell phone while driving are helots.


Posted by: Ric Locke on March 8, 2006 08:27 PM

A HUGE Amen to that, Brother Rob!!
Brain donors, one and all -- they already gave!

Posted by: Marianne on March 8, 2006 08:35 PM

The Great Corporate Salt Mine did a study a few years ago and found that cell phone usage impairs your driving as much as a couple of stiff drinks. Surprisingly, it made no difference whether the phone was used hands-free or not. There are plenty of other distractions - hell, I see people reading in the Atlanta traffic - but something about the type of cognition required to carry on a telephone conversation seems to do a serious number on your ability to drive.

When you've got a two-ton hunk of rolling metal in your control, you'd best be paying attention...with all of your brain. If you have one.

Posted by: Elisson on March 8, 2006 09:14 PM

I find it comforting that "Ms Maddock was pictured on police video cameras holding a compact mirror and an eye brush while driving along the A499 in Pwllheli in north Wales."
Adios right to privacy in the name of state sanctioned "safety".

Posted by: Bart on March 8, 2006 09:56 PM

I couldn't agree more. I HATE it when I see people eating, applying make-up, READING or paying more attention to their phone than they do to the road. I can spot them a half a mile away and they have no idea that they are taking our lives into their hands. They are reckless fools and should should suffer very stiff penalties.

I am in favor of a darting system. Every driver gets a dart-gun and you can dart the assholes who you see driving irresponsibly with a small device removeable only by law enforcement. Once a car has five or more darts, they lose their license for six months or so and the car gets impounded for the duration of that time. During that time, they should have to help clean up after auto accidents, do community service in emergency rooms and attend safe driving classes.

Posted by: Florida Bill on March 9, 2006 08:40 AM

That sounds great, Florida Bill. I'll just find out where you work, and get 4 of my buddies and we'll all go down to that parking lot and "dart" your car.

"But officer, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't do anything!"

"Yea - tell it to the judge."

The BC's everywhere will have a field day with that stupid suggestion.

Posted by: Roy on March 9, 2006 09:37 AM

I got so mad the other day at a guy who was yakking on his cell phone in his car that I couldn't even concentrate. Nearly drove off the sidewalk.

Posted by: McGehee on March 9, 2006 10:11 AM

Yo Acid,
Where is the picture of the lady in Costa?
Ya gunna post it?
Or need more time to photo shop it before post lol.
Just kidding man. Keep up the good work

Posted by: Jason H on March 9, 2006 11:20 AM

Now, now, you men, we all KNOW that women can multitask because they are soooooooooooooooooo much smarter then us men, and besides, if they crash their car or wipe out a pedestrian or plow thorough a bunch of kids at a school crosswalk while applying eye makeup, it's OUR FAULT anyway.

Posted by: maggot on March 9, 2006 11:20 AM

Doesn't matter what is done, people will be people. Some are law abiding and others are... asswipe. Here, in NY state, we have a law against the use of cell phones while driving and yet, every day when I pick up my wife from her job at the town hall, I watch town and county employees (including police officers and sheriff deputies) drive off with their cell phones clamped firmly to their ears.

Posted by: snuffyny on March 9, 2006 11:51 AM

The woman who rear-ended me years ago -- and caused a nasty chain-reaction involving 6 cars (mine was brand-new, less than a month old) -- was turning around to address a situation with her swarm of chirren in the backseat.

Posted by: dogette on March 9, 2006 01:11 PM

It's not just women. On the way to work one day I was next to a guy in traffic who shaved, smoked, drank a cup of coffee and did a crossword puzzle -- simultaneously -- while driving. That was BEFORE the days of cell phones.

Is it any wonder I prefer Metra?

Posted by: Omnibus Driver on March 9, 2006 03:09 PM

Because I'm a late riser at least once a week I haul my butt into work with a cellphone to my ear, or my hand's free kit.

No problems at all. I've participated in many a meetings where people were in their car and on their cellphone and I've never heard of a problem. Granted, I've seen some jackasses on the road that couldn't handle it, but most of us that work professionally can.

When I do roll into work that phone's still attached to my ear and I manage to cross the street, get to my desk, fire up the email client, respons to emails, tunnel into servers, do what was asked of me just 5 minutes ago, send out email updates to those on the conference call, alert them vocally that I've made my changes, write software, compile it, deploy it.. you get the idea.

I can drive and talk at the same time. It's not rocket science. You only notice the idiots out there because there's no reason for you to peer into my vehicle and try and spot the earbud in my ear.

Posted by: Justin Buist on March 9, 2006 11:21 PM

Yes, right up there with the guys that are shaving while driving and the idiot 17 year old boys spending five minutes looking for the "perfect" CD that has apparently slid into the blackhole beneath their passenger seat. Punks.

Posted by: Vincent on March 9, 2006 11:38 PM
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