Gut Rumbles

February 25, 2006


I read this post and I had to laugh. Eric has a lot of fricking nerve to be singing the praises of ANY razor, because he ain't got no beard. I've seen heavier growths on a Jawja peach than the fuzz that sprouts on his face. He doesn't need a razor. He may as well scrape his cheek and chin with a popsicle stick, since he's just going through the motions anyway.

When I was a boy, I couldn't WAIT to start shaving. I watched my father do it, and I thought it was a manly act, even if he did make funny faces in the mirror getting at those hard-to-reach spots. He used a safety razor, but he applied lather using the old-fashioned cup-and-brush method. I thought putting on lather was way cool, too.

Occasionally, my father would pop the blade out of the razor and hand it to me, so that I could lather up my face and pretend to shave. I enjoyed doing that and I even practiced making funny faces in the mirror the way my father did, even though I had to stand on a chair to see my reflection.

But the novelty of shaving quickly wore off when I started actually NEEDING to do it. Even then I got screwed, because I grew formidable whiskers on my chin and under my nose, but only fuzz on my cheeks. Long sideburns were fashionable in the late '60s, but I couldn't grow any, dammit. And moustaches were forbidden in high school. So, shaving became an almost-daily part of my life, and it wasn't fun anymore. I learned to hate doing it.

I grew my first moustache when I was a freshman in college. I've shaved it off and grown it back at least 50 times now. I've gone for the Frank Zappa look, the neat Tom Selleck style, the David Crosby bushy curl and even added a goatee on occasion. A few times, I've grown a full beard, although my sideburns remain kinda wispy to this day.

The main reason I usually grow some kind of hair on my face is simple: I don't like to shave. Shaving is a nuisance, a pain, a chore. I avoid as much of it as I can.

That's one reason why I find wimmen so fascinating. They (well, MOST of 'em anyway) shave their legs, their armpits and sometimes... other intimate places. That's a LOT more surface area to cover with a razor than a man has to deal with. I am delighted that I don't have to do THAT.

Considering what wimmen do, I would be much more inclined to listen to THEM talk about a good razor than pay any attention to Baby-Faced Eric on that subject.


... bite me, Acidman... I shave twice a month whether I need to or not... but I do so like that Mach III... it's gentle on my face...

Posted by: Eric on February 25, 2006 02:03 PM

I hate shaving too...Electrolysis is wonderful! Still have to hack the old legs though...

Posted by: Steph on February 25, 2006 02:08 PM

yeah, 1 down, 4 square miles to go...ugh

Posted by: aimeestates on February 25, 2006 03:27 PM

I had to either grow a beard or start shaving when I was twelve years old and by the time I was fourteen it was a daily ritual. When I retired from the military in 19 and 83 I grew a beard and have had it even since. Damn a bunch of razors of any kind.

Posted by: GUYK on February 25, 2006 04:21 PM

That's funny, Rob. I think we've all gone through that. I vividly remember watching my older cousin shaving when I was about 14 and saying that I couldn't wait til I could, and him, Saying, "Don't worry, you'll get over that."

Posted by: CraigC on February 25, 2006 08:48 PM

I think everyone loves to watch their daddy shave; I did it when I was a kid and my daughter watches her daddy do it now. She has her own "play set" and pretends to shave with Scooby Doo shaving cream and a purple plastic razor. It's very cute.

Posted by: Lisa on February 25, 2006 09:39 PM

you were inflicted with the same thing I was.

An Apache beard.

a patchy here and a patchy there.

Posted by: marcl on February 25, 2006 10:33 PM

I use the Mach III myself for day to day whisker annihilation, however, every now and again I break out the 'ol straight razor. Why? Well, because it is approximately one thousand percent more deadly, and as a result, one thousand times more cool.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on February 26, 2006 11:18 AM

Got the full beard going on now, and it's for a lot the same reason you's just a hassle. I can either scrape a sharp piece of metal across my face, or I can sleep a few more minutes.

Add to that, i think I look spiffy in the beard. It covers up most of the ugly....

Posted by: Tommy on February 26, 2006 11:36 AM

I think we discussed this before. Being an American woman mostly of African descent is great in this respect: no leg hair. Other areas get the full treatment. :-)

Posted by: Juliette on February 27, 2006 09:22 PM
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