Gut Rumbles

February 09, 2006

i rest my case

As I have mentioned numerous times before, I hate cats. I also believe that cat-lovers are very sick people in need of therapy. I recommend that they get a good dog.

Here's what a cat will do for you.

A burning candle knocked over by a house cat has been cited as the apparent cause of a blaze late Sunday afternoon that injured two women and did $500,000 damage to the River Place Condominiums near downtown Naperville.

The damn things will try to KILL YOU! And what does a cat do when the shit hits the fan?

The fate of the cats was not known.

That's right. Terrorist cats will set your home on fire and then haul ass, thinking only of themselves, the selfish bastards. You just can't trust a got-dam cat.

A dog, on the other hand, is loyal, loving and courageous.

See the difference? A cat will SET a fire, while a dog will SAVE YOU FROM DYING in one. A cat will run off and leave you to burn, while a dog will stick by you. If I were a religious man, I would be certain of one fact:

All dogs go to heaven; cats go to hell.

(Thanks to Ruth Moran for the links!)


Um, s'cuse me, Honey?

Didja see this part of that sentence?

"Naperville Fire Department investigators have concluded one of two pet cats living in the unit where the fire erupted apparently upset a lighted candle that had been left unattended in a room there..."

Not the cats fault.

The stupid bitches who owned the cats are the ones who left an open flame UNATTENDED.

Now, ya know I've got more cats than half yer readers put together and you'll notice I don't have catastrophies like this, even though I do burn candles, incense and weed, which should make something like this even more likely to happen, right?
BUT... it doesn't happen to me, or any other pet of any kind owners, who're at least marginally smarter than the pet.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Stupid bitches fault, not the cats, whom, by the way, better be found alive or the owner charged with "stupidity" and not be allowed to harm (see: "own") another animal.

Just like with that mouse fire... serves 'em right.

Posted by: Stevie on February 9, 2006 11:37 AM

And, hey Sweetie... I have a theory as to why you dislike cats so much.

Need to ask ya one question...

Do ya like horses?

Posted by: Stevie on February 9, 2006 11:43 AM

yeah, stevie.

Posted by: jessica on February 9, 2006 12:02 PM

rotflmfao @ Bad Cat Robot...

You go, Dude....

(And, thanks Jess...)
*gigglin' grin*

Posted by: Stevie on February 9, 2006 12:11 PM

Rob, I think you are blaming the wrong pussy.

Posted by: Renee on February 9, 2006 01:10 PM

Rob loves cats. Especially stir-fried.

Posted by: McGehee on February 9, 2006 02:07 PM

"Those who like not cats, were themselves in former lives, rats." Confucious.

If you keel over dead in the house, your dog will just set there whining and starve to death.

The cat sees about two weeks of available rations.

Posted by: Gerry N. on February 9, 2006 05:55 PM

cats are not really pets; they are just small predators living in your house and can be fun if you accept them for what they are ...

Posted by: maxnnr on February 9, 2006 07:10 PM
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