February 05, 2006
1) You heard it here first: The Pittsburg Steelers will defeat the Seattle Seahawks by a score of 27-13 in the Super Bowl. The game will be neither close nor exciting, unless your idea of excitement is watching injured Seahawks being carted off the field while coach Mike Holmgren appears to be passing a painful kidney stone on the sidelines.
2) The highlight of the Super Bowl will be the television commercials, at least one of which will be very entertaining, leaving viewers talking about it for days without ever remembering what product it advertised.
3) Some bloggers are desperate for subject matter. I'm not certain about the fold vs. wad controversy, but I DO know that most wimmen use more toilet paper daubing their twats after a #1 than I do wiping my ass after a #2.
4) Why are Muslims enraged over cartoons published in a newspaper? A NEWSPAPER??? WTF are they doing looking at a newspaper? Most of the ignorant bastards can't read and they damn sure ain't wiping their asses on one. I don't get it.
5) Okay, I DO get it. It doesn't take much to enrage a Muslim. You'd be enraged, too, if you had to wipe your ass on your finger all the time. (Especially if you used that same finger to pick your nose.)
6) Why do I giggle and think of Michael Moore trying to wipe his gargantuan ass when I hear the word "fatwa?"
7) I like Westerns as much as anybody does. That's why I'll probably watch Broke-Dick Mounting one of these days, even though I don't particularly want to. It might give the term "saddle-sore" a whole new meaning.
8) I agree with this guy. The Super Bowl stopped being a mere football game years ago, when it morphed into a glitzy, frenzied, overblown, All-American extravanga of shameless conspicuous consumption and shameless money-grubbing hype. That kind of shamelessness shouldn't happen on a Sunday--- not for religious reasons, but because too many people have to go to work with screeching hangovers the next day. Let's fix that problem by making Monday-After-The-Super-Bowl a national holiday.
10) Anybody who whines about a shortage of blog-fodder probably tried to wipe his (or her) ass with a finger and got it stuck there.
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