Gut Rumbles

January 20, 2006

"street value"

"Street Value" is another example of the pure bullshit that has crept into our language today. The term ranks right up there with "assault rifle" and "hate crime" as word abuse. (Don't even get me started on the misuse of the word "gender.") Go read this post.

A federal search warrant affidavit alleges the operation took in an estimated $5 million in three years, until federal and state authorities, tipped by a confidential informant, raided the farm on Nov. 9. They confiscated nearly 800 marijuana plants, with an estimated street value of $3 million, according to the affidavit.

Gag me. Even if you take the story as absolute gospel about the "street value" of "nearly" 800 pot plants (which I DON'T), you still have the government spending $5,000,000, plus three years worth of state and federal law enforcement time to make this bust. I don't think I would brag about it.

If you do the math (I don't do math--- I was an English Major), you'll discover an average "street value" of $3,750 for each plant at "at all levels of maturation," grown in a 1000 square-foot (32' X 32' is 1024 square feet) area, with each plant having 1.25 square feet of space in which to grow and yielding 0.84 pounds of reefer picked and dried. That's one hell of an efficient farming operation.

It's also unbelievable.

I want to invent a new word. I want a word that means "Bullshit description used to make something sound like something it ain't, usually for the purpose of justifying something stupid." I was thinking of a word such as "balderwhomp" or "fuggdacity."

Got any suggestions?


"Law enforcement"
"Network news"

Posted by: og on January 20, 2006 11:21 PM

I think you are misreading the 5 million part. The warrant is alleging the drug operation took in 5 million.

But I agree with the overall point of your post.

"Bullshit description used to make something sound like something it ain't, usually for the purpose of justifying something stupid."

There already is a word for that: "politics"

Posted by: rightisright on January 20, 2006 11:22 PM


(Wife has dragged me to all the Harry Potter movies)

Posted by: GORDON on January 20, 2006 11:24 PM

LOL. Thanks for the catch on the math. It's so sad. I'm so bad with numbers I don't know how I even graduated grammar school.

I have never posted a mathematical calculation yet that was right and what's really pathetic, is this time I used a calculator.

How about gutscrapple for the word?

Posted by: Libby on January 20, 2006 11:50 PM

My daddy taught me a word for that.

HORSESHIT...This is whole mindframe on anything governmental.

Posted by: Steph on January 21, 2006 12:06 AM

I just wanna know where that street is so I can move there.....

Posted by: bitterman on January 21, 2006 12:07 AM

How about disingenuous? ALthough, I think rightisright was, well, right with his suggestion of 'politics'.

Posted by: Michael Stone on January 21, 2006 12:55 AM

Politics, absolutely!

Posted by: Marianne on January 21, 2006 12:57 AM

There's no way anyone can grow a plant that big in that space! 3/4 pound per square foot?! Jimminy Christmas! Unless they've bred some mutant pot plants these days...

Posted by: Desert Cat on January 21, 2006 02:09 AM

Here's how it goes. I never worked narcs, except doing narc followup when I busted street chumps with dope, but I was required to support the narcs on a frequent basis.

The narcs were considered the excess baggage of the Sheriff's Enforcement Division.

They would work an informant for all he/she was worth, and go from there. There was no protocol for dropping an investigation if the suspects all turned out to be bit players with only minor stashes.

So, after spending dozens to hundreds of man-hours on an investigation, the narc squad HAD to make a bust, and if it got nothing, they would embellish what it did get.

I'm not saying that they were useless; by just being there and working cases they kept some of the dope traffic down, but the fact that other agencies made huge busts in our jurisdiction meant that they weren't the street kings that they thought they were, and still think they are.

Posted by: Rivrdog on January 21, 2006 02:11 AM

assholery, or ex-wife speak

Posted by: Ron on January 21, 2006 05:34 AM

mr smith-for what it is worth-what about what that general in new orleans said they are stuck on stupid{sos}for short j

Posted by: j on January 21, 2006 06:12 AM


Posted by: the friendly grizzly on January 21, 2006 07:49 AM

"Bullshit description used to make something sound like something it ain't, usually for the purpose of justifying something stupid."

How about "Government Analysis" ... or "Federal Calculations" ?

Posted by: Vulgorilla on January 21, 2006 07:49 AM

Wasn't the word "doublespeak" used in the
book, '1984'. Created for just such a definition?

Posted by: Capt. Harley on January 21, 2006 08:06 AM

Even so, they spent 5 million to make a 3 million dollar bust. In any other business, spending more money than you make is bad...and a 2 million dollar loss in the business world is not only real money, but certainly grounds for restructuring the decision makers there, eh?

Posted by: Kelly on January 21, 2006 08:47 AM


Posted by: Jim - PRS on January 21, 2006 08:55 AM

Feh on the gummint and the war on pot. Let people grow their own and they can stop worrying about "street value". Or sell it like regular alcohol or tobaccy and get some revenue from it, via taxes.

They caused a considerable amount of damage back in 2002 looking for pot farms in our local backcountry.

Posted by: fat bottomed girl on January 21, 2006 09:41 AM

Why make up a new word like a leftist, when an perfectly serviceable old word exists: euphemism.

Posted by: Brett on January 21, 2006 02:18 PM


I was getting a touch of Deja Moo when I read the drug know...that feeling you get...that you have already heard this bullshit somewhere before....

Posted by: robert on January 21, 2006 06:57 PM

It was "NewSpeak"

Posted by: stevek on January 21, 2006 08:14 PM


Posted by: cop3 on January 21, 2006 11:11 PM


Apologies to Colbert.

Posted by: Florida Bill on January 23, 2006 08:50 AM

Where I come from we call it COWSHIT Rob.

Posted by: assrot on January 23, 2006 06:44 PM
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