Gut Rumbles

January 09, 2006

Prostate problems

I hope he's fretting over nothing. Reading that post brought back some very unpleasant memories for me.

...depending on the results of the bloodwork, I may have to go in for a prostate biopsy. Thatís no fun, from what I hear.

I wrote about having a prostate biopsy, but the post is buried somewhere 'waaaaay back in my old archives. Let's just say that the procedure involves having a urologist ram something that resembles a Big Bertha driver 'waaaaay back up into your archives. The pseudo golf club has an ultrasound camera and a needle gun built in.

The doctor pulls a trigger on the grip of his anal probe to launch that needle into your prostate for a tissue sample. The probe makes a "KAPOW! sound with every shot, while he watches the show on TV. You lie on a table with your knees pulled up to your chest and try not to scream. My doctor shot me eight times. It was no fun at all.

(Heh. I Googled "prostate biopsy+enema+kapow" and found my old post. It's here if you care to read it.)

I wish Donnie the best of luck, and I sincerely hope that his problem goes away WITHOUT the need to have a Big Bertha needle-gun shoved up his ass and fired. But it WOULD be fun to watch. BWHAHAHAHAHA!

Just kidding, Donnie. I wouldn't wish that shit on anybody.


Is that what's known as the Captain Kirk procedure?

"Boldly going where no man has gone before."

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on January 10, 2006 06:32 PM
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