Gut Rumbles

December 21, 2005

better than wd-40

I've always thought that WD-40 is the best stuff ever to come in an aerosol can. It's good for 2,000 uses and I always keep a can or two around the house. That little cocktail-straw applicator is a good idea, too. Gets right into those hard-to-reach places.

I have a theory about home repairs and you might be suprised how often it works: "If you can't fix it with anything else you've tried, spray it with WD-40." Even when that DOESN'T work, it makes the room smell like you've been doing SOMETHING constructive.

But I'll call WD-40 second best if anybody ever invents this miracle spray. I want not only a case of the stuff, I want lots of stock in the company that makes it, too. They'll NEVER go out of business because their... er... target market is huge and getting bigger every day.

I can think of more than 2,000 uses for it right now.


The miracle product I want to invent would be called 'Sprunt", which stands for SPRay to Negate cUNTs.

Most of realized a long time ago that an obnoxious cunt is far, far worse a menace to society than a grumpy old curmudgeon, and a quick spritz of Sprunt would instantly reverse the hormones and turn the cunt into a real lady.

But then, the got-damned Gummint would probably ban such an assault spray, so only cops could carry it, and we all know that cops are not very good judges of female character, since there is about a 100% divorce rate in their ranks.

Posted by: Rivrdog on December 21, 2005 01:51 AM

I'm a duct tape girl myself.

Posted by: Libby on December 21, 2005 07:40 AM

I have to say I couldnt get along without either (Duct Tape and WD-40) If its not sticking (and it should be) get the DUCT TAPE. On the other hand, if its sticking and it SHOULDNT BE, grab the WD-40. No home should be without these two valuable products....

OH and for good measure, a high-end HOT GLUE GUN also comes in quite handy (why I have even fixed FURNITURE with that sucker) Oh and dont forget the staple gun.....(gee, one would think from reading this that a lot of shit goes wrong around my house....and one would be CORRECT!)

Posted by: Ruth on December 21, 2005 08:56 AM

In our house the miracle materials are WD-40, Duct-Tape, and Bondo. Hell, my brothers car was 85% bondo once. He even built a set of speaker enclosures with it, sounded pret-durn good too.

Posted by: Mythilt on December 21, 2005 10:21 AM

What's also good and good smellin' is Hoppes #9...

Posted by: -keith in mtn. view on December 21, 2005 11:49 AM

Helpful Tips:

WD-40 is a water dispersant (thus the name), and a mediocre (though correspondingly mild, and thus useful) solvent. (I use it to help remove sticker goop from things, mostly.)

It is not very good as a lubricant; in fact it gums up after a while.

If something is sticking, use actual oil or spray silicon lubricant. (Or if it's a lock, some graphite compound like Lock-Eez. You don't want to put WD-40 into a sticking lock unless you want it to get worse when the volatiles evaporate.)

Posted by: Sigivald on December 21, 2005 01:07 PM

The Governator out here used a can of Tookie B Gone last week....maybe he has a resource?!

Posted by: Rumbear on December 21, 2005 03:18 PM

Asshole-Be-Gone is already on the market under the tradename "Mace."

Posted by: Gramps on December 21, 2005 05:18 PM

WD-40 stand for Water displacement 40 days. What most people needs is an adhesive lubicant. JWalter corporation makes one that is amazing. I sprayed it on a trailor hitch that stays outside and 2 years later it was still holding and that is with wear and tear of fresh and salt water......what the hell am I going on about?

Posted by: Lance on December 21, 2005 07:02 PM

Don't use WD-40 for door hinges. Vaseline works a Hell of a lot better. Just pop each hinge pin our and give it a thin coating and replace. It stays in place and doesn't run down the woodwork.

While "Asshole-B-Gone" would be nice, I do have a can of "Bullshit Repellant" on my desk.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on December 21, 2005 07:59 PM

and then there's it cousin, Liquid Wrench. I like it because after application you have to give it about the time it takes to enjoy a cold beverage before it works.

Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy on December 21, 2005 09:24 PM

WD-40(Water Displaement #40)is the name the gubmn't gave the 40th chemical formula that was submitted to the defense department as a water displacment chemical for the ICBM's the defense department was developing. There where 39 previous submissions, and the 40th was the winner, hence the name (to quote a previous commenter).

Or so I have been told.

Posted by: gravdigr on December 21, 2005 09:37 PM

I would add coat hanger wire to that list of indispensable items. WD-40 may have 2000 uses, but there are at least 1001 uses for an old coat hanger.

Posted by: Desert Cat on December 21, 2005 10:43 PM

Yes WD-40 is great for removing price stickers, etc. Know what else loosens up them stubborn things too? PEANUT BUTTER. I kid you not.

Posted by: Ruth on December 22, 2005 08:22 AM

I gotta agree ..........where do I invest at?

Posted by: Arathorn on December 22, 2005 10:53 AM
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