Gut Rumbles

August 10, 2005

a romantic story

The eventual marriage of my mother and father started with egg salad sandwiches.

My father was a semi-orphan. His dad died when my father was 12 years old, and his mama flipped out, dropped him off with an aunt and uncle (who was a Baptist minister and a shitass), and left Dad to fend for himself while she ran off to God knows where.

Dad had a hard time of it. In all the old pictures I have of him, he's skinny as a rail, but he WAS a strikingly handsome young man.

In high school, Mama noticed that my father never ate lunch at school. In those days, you brought your own lunch or you didn't eat. Nobody made my dad a lunch. He didn't eat.

Mama started making egg salad sandwiches--- one for her and one extra one--- and taking them to school. She walked up to my father one day and said, "I brought more than I can eat. Would you like an egg salad sandwich?"

She started feeding my father every day after that, they became sweethearts and the rest is history. They're both dead now, but I still like to tell that story.

I wouldn't be here today except for an egg salad sandwich.


There's something else you don't see anymore. A teenager who isn't completly self-absorbed.

He was a lucky man.

Posted by: Symph on August 10, 2005 07:30 PM

egg salad is my childhood favorite sandwich and to this day, I usually make a batch for my lunches...almost every week.

Your folks had good taste. Bet the sandwiches were good too.

Posted by: marcl on August 10, 2005 07:33 PM

That is a wonderful story.

Posted by: Maeve on August 10, 2005 07:52 PM

Acidman, that's a damn fine story. Seriously.

Austin, Texas

Posted by: Jason H on August 10, 2005 07:54 PM

That's such a sweet story! You don't find many unselfish kids nowadays. Your parents were extremely lucky to have each other from the way you talk about them. I am in awe...

Posted by: Stephanie on August 10, 2005 08:05 PM

You made me cry, fucker.

Posted by: Bane on August 10, 2005 08:07 PM

If you weren't so ornery I'd say you were getting soft. Great story, though.

Posted by: caltechgirl on August 10, 2005 09:42 PM

Awww, that is a great story.

Posted by: Alli on August 10, 2005 09:56 PM

Damn Accidic Personage, this brings back an egg salad story of my own.
In second grade at Olympia Grammer School in Columbia South Carolina, we could walk home for lunch if you lived close enough. We lived a block and a half away. I loved it. Momma would always have something good but my favorite was egg salad sandwiches. Sometimes, when we had a couple of nickels to rub together, Mom would have me a Nehi Orange to go with it.
One day, I went home and the house was locked up tighter than a drum. I beat, banged and hollared. No Momma, egg nor bread. The world ended. I was one sad sack walking back to that school. A HUNGRY sad sack.
I was sitting in Mrs. Roberts class about an hour later. NOBODY loved stomach thinking my throat was cut. A knock on the classroom door. I look up, and there's my Momma standing there crying like a baby. In her hand, she's holding a brown paper sack and a NEHI ORANGE!! Mrs. Roberts talked to her in the hall, came back in and told me I could go out on the breeze way with my Momma and eat. That was the best egg salad sandwich that ever was.

She had been uptown that morning taking care of something while Daddy was at work and missed the bus. I am STILL crazy 'bout that woman!

Rob, She's still with me. I wish with all my heart you could say the same. One day, she won't be here, but that memory will be with me until I draw my last.

Posted by: James Hooker on August 11, 2005 01:01 AM

Sounds like your mama was always a gem and your dad had the good sense to stick with her.

Posted by: StinKerr on August 11, 2005 04:05 AM

I got sick fer a second while readin that butt-wipe PJ's smarmy response. TOTALLY un-FUCKING-necessary PJ!

Posted by: johndeerebilly on August 11, 2005 05:27 AM

Chuck PJ?....part of me says "yes", part says "know thy scumbag"

Posted by: James Hooker, Ace of aces on August 11, 2005 08:40 AM

What a very cool story!

Posted by: Kelly on August 11, 2005 08:50 AM

That's awesome. Truly awesome.
And one of my personal favorite sammiches!

Posted by: LC Corey on August 11, 2005 08:55 AM

OH, and PJ?

You should be subject to a good beating for such a comment.

Posted by: LC Corey on August 11, 2005 09:00 AM

That was so sweet and thoughtful of her to do that. Your mom sounded like a very special lady. I bet you have wonderful memories of her. Always cherish them.

Posted by: Chrissy on August 11, 2005 11:25 AM

PJ - that was certainly low. Smack yourself silly and spend the rest of the day in your room. Your just jealous cuz your Momma would NEVER do that for you. Sweet story - I love it!

Posted by: Anastasia on August 11, 2005 11:48 AM

I was very touched by this story. Thank you.

Posted by: Lexia on August 11, 2005 11:56 AM

If you have a picture of the happy couple and you don't have a reservation about it being turned into a troll target, how about posting it. You've become a part of our extended family so let us see who "begat" you.

Posted by: Oran Woody on August 11, 2005 01:06 PM

Did I make you sit on the curb and cry Acidbrain? I am sorry you big pussy. By the way, it was aimed at YOUR sorry ass if you knew how to read...not your mama (even though you crawled into the gutter long before I did by saying vulgar shit about my mama). So fuck you. I simply said she should have kept the sandwich...which meant YOU wouldn't be here today you complete waste of a cum spirt. Go ahead and ban me you cocksucker.....I certainly don't give a shit for shinola. The rest of your toothless, inbred, wing-nut, hillbilly followers can go fuck themselves too.


Posted by: PJ on August 12, 2005 12:50 AM

What a great story; in watching two teenage sons grow now, I think their concept of love, romance, or what it is to care about another at their age is seriously skewed.

Thanks...okay I had a laugh-choke-on-my-coffee spell so far this morning from remembering your musings on cats, a smiley, warm feeling reading about Quinton and remembering how much you love your boy and now a tear in my eye from a sweet story about your mama and daddy. This is getting too damn emotional...

Posted by: Lisa on August 14, 2005 09:00 AM
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