Gut Rumbles
 

August 08, 2005

home depot

I was a big fan of "Home Improvement" when that show was on television. I could identify with Tim The Tool Man, because I'm just about as fucked-up as he was when it came to performing "projects" around the house. Still, I sometimes do them, whether they turn out right or not.

It's a guy thing.

That's why I like this quote:

His eyes instantly glazed over , he was in full "going to Home Depot" mode. He bought some blower thingy to blow leaves or something in the yard. Muslims have Mecca, Jews and Christian make a pilgrimage to Israel, my husband's Nirvana is Home Depot...He is a charter member of the Most Sacred Church on High of Power Tools, he worships at the altar frequently, and yes, he is faithful about tithing. To hell with 10%, he gives 80%!! So, all is well, kids have school clothes and daddy has a brand new toy!! Damn...I'm good...LOL

(stolen from here.)

I KNOW that look! I get it myself every time I walk into a Home Depot store. That place is testosterone heaven. When I go to Wal-Mart or the grocery story, I know exactly what I want and I buy it, then I get the hell out of there. But I can graze like a cow in a Home Depot.

What causes that? I look at some of those power tools and literally SALIVATE over them, even though I KNOW that if I bought one, I might use it just once and then store it in my garage until I'm dead. Hell, I even consider buying something I ALREADY HAVE when I'm in there. That's a dangerous place.

I've displayed more self-control in a whorehouse, for crying out loud.

I went to a whorehouse once and didn't buy anything. I don't think I've EVER done that at Home Depot.



Comments

I never bought anything at a whore house either ,but did rent the hell out of come choice property.

Posted by: james old guy on August 8, 2005 11:41 AM

If I go into a Home Store i always seem to end up in either where they keep the machete or the axe. now, i don't believe there's anything wrong with that, although I have been banned from my local B&Q.

Posted by: poyc on August 8, 2005 11:49 AM

yeah, I spent a loy of money on houses and lots in my 'yooth'. And I do rrepresent that gent going into Home Depot. Sweetthing makes me leave the credit cards at home when we go.

Posted by: GUYK on August 8, 2005 11:52 AM

I get like that whenever I walk into a gun shop. Home Depot always turns into work for me so I avoid it. I don't mind working that Smith & Wesson Model 500 .50 Magnum at all though. When I shoot at the range, everybody shits their pants. Beats me as to why.

Posted by: assrot on August 8, 2005 12:06 PM

I think "Momisnutz" and I must be married to the same man.

Posted by: blondage on August 8, 2005 12:09 PM

Well, Blondage, that bastard is cheating on all three of us then!

Posted by: Kelly on August 8, 2005 01:09 PM

Home Depot ain't chit. Go find a Harbor Freight store in your area. Nirvana.

Posted by: PawPaw on August 8, 2005 02:36 PM

I do the same thing in Menards.
I think I shoulda been a man.

Posted by: Livey on August 8, 2005 02:45 PM

Home Depot, Lowes, gun shows, hobby shops. All are deadly to my cash flow. Instant addiction. One good aspect though, whatever I buy, regardless of whether I need it or ever use it, is always valued by me. Luckily my toys are not like fashions, so they never become passe', tho I need to oil, grease, or charge batteries on occassion. Or feed it by purchasing another case of ammo, 1000rds.

Posted by: TomR on August 8, 2005 03:30 PM

Oh yeah, I never left an Asian whorehouse without making a purchase.

Posted by: TomR on August 8, 2005 03:32 PM

Rob,
It's not just a "man's" store. My eyes glaze over, drool runs down my chin and my panties get all wet soon as I hit the parking lot. All those plants I could buy! the paint! I could repaint the inside of my house!. The appliances? That gives me multiple orgasms.
Also Home Depot rocks because they just donated 25 million to Cure Autism Now.

Posted by: Maeve on August 8, 2005 04:28 PM

I love Home Depot, especially the lumber area. Something about the smell of freshly sawn wood.....mmmmm.

What makes my eyes glaze over, though, is any automotive store/tire store. I HATE those places. I figure for guys, the equivalent is a fabric store or maybe Hallmark store. Or one of those overly-scented candle & knick-knack places. I don't know any guy (that I truly respect anyway) that actually enjoys spending time in one of those places.

Posted by: Trish on August 8, 2005 04:30 PM

I try to stay outta there. It's worse than drugs. And chain me to a wall if I ever mention visiting Comp USA. I considered applying to work there, but I'd never bring home a paycheck. I'd have a HELLUVA computer setup tho. Last time I went there I ended up with all the stuff I needed to build this AMD64 smoker I'm writing this on. So much for the tax refund. And Home Depot? I have a buncha stuff from there I've only used once or twice. I smile when I look at my workbench & toolbox tho. Makes my eyes cross.

Posted by: Horrabin on August 8, 2005 07:35 PM

Heh heh heh...
My recent trip to Home Depot brought me the Ryobi BT3100 table saw system I've been salivating over for the last three years.

Posted by: Desert Cat on August 9, 2005 01:58 AM

Quoted and linked, thur
'Quotes I like day'
Thank you

Posted by: GrampaPinhead on August 11, 2005 04:02 AM
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