Gut Rumbles
 

July 31, 2005

a matter of taste--- or touch...

I am not a big fan of super-sized titties. I'm just not, and I never have been. Some wimmen who have bodacious racks just stir me to look at them and make "moooo!" sounds. Those aren't TITS! THOSE are UDDERS!!!

I especially don't like the gravity-defying storebought versions. I don't know why any woman would want that kind of self-mutilation. I suppose that they read too many fashion magazines and start to believe that without big tits, they are nothing.

They read propaganda, examine their breasts and KNOW! Men won't date them. They'll never turn heads when they walk into a room. They'll never get laid. Life sucks because I don't have big tits.

So, they run off and BUY some tits from a plastic surgeon.

Ladies, I'm here to tell you that it's a big waste of money, and if you DO attract somebody with your new tits, you'll end up with someone EXACTLY like the author of that post, and he'll just use you like a Kleenex and throw you away, telling you to "put some ice on that," as he pulls up his zipper and exits laughing, leaving some horrible venereal disease in his wake. Trust me. I know the guy.

I prefer REAL tits, and I don't like 'em too big. Anything over a handful is wasted. Besides, it's perky nipples that light MY fire, and they usually come on smaller breasts.

So, for you members of the "Itty-Bitty-Tittie Club," do not despair. You're fine just the way you are. I am not alone, either, in my opinion. If you've got a nice ass, that's all some guys look at.

Work with the tools you have.

Of course, who am I to judge? I bought a Bionic Dick.

Comments

I second that motion, I am an ass man myself!

Posted by: Billy Budd on July 31, 2005 06:14 PM

I don't mind fake titties.
Never had any problems with after-market parts.

As long as it's a good tit job, that is. The ones that look like life sized Barbie boobs and are hard as hell turn me off.

I don't subscribe to the "more than a handful is a waste" school either, but if one of your tits is bigger around than your head you went too far...

Posted by: Graumagus on July 31, 2005 06:43 PM

More than a mouthful is wasted??? nah...just not used all at once. Why limit your options?

Posted by: Marcus on July 31, 2005 07:23 PM

The size of a womans tits doesn't make any difference to me as long as she has 'em. Although I have been told I was a breast baby and weaned at a late age, a woman's beast is just secondary to my primary objective.

Posted by: GUYK on July 31, 2005 07:34 PM

What about medium sized tits with big perky nipples that sag?

Posted by: livey on July 31, 2005 07:35 PM

Or 2 inch long nipples with multiple piercings... kind of like a half a hot dog with a steel stud through it...

Posted by: Yogimus on July 31, 2005 07:49 PM

"I especially don't like the gravity-defying storebought versions."
Indeed - 'criminal' tits. Gravity: it's the Law.

Posted by: Pete the Streak on July 31, 2005 08:31 PM

Oh, fuck you! What don't fit in your mouth you save for a rainy day.

I loves me big titties. Big titties loves me. I like planting my cock between two bodacious tits.

That makes me feel like a man.

Posted by: Velociman on July 31, 2005 09:06 PM

My friend in Montana has them, the originals were lopsided.

When it is wintertime, and the temperature below zero ? She's got icy slush in her bra!

Posted by: Bonita on July 31, 2005 09:34 PM

And by the way, what's with the "put some ice on it, venereal disease" bullshit? This was a titty size disagreement.

Don't make me drive up there and beat you, fucker. You know I will!

Posted by: Velociman on July 31, 2005 09:44 PM

"put some ice on that" is a Bill Clinton classic. Damn, how soon people forget.....

Posted by: tybeebum on July 31, 2005 10:43 PM

As long as they don't amoeba off behind her back somewhere when she raises her arms.

I've loved plenty of big titty women, ones who've given each tit a different name. Had a few fake ones, too, but I was always afeared I'd give one of them a blowout and they'd fly around the room like a let go balloon.

I have always felt that it would be useful to have a woman with titties she could refill with bourbon, that I could nurse straight from the nipple.

Now, there's somethin science should put its pointy head to ponderin.

Posted by: Bane on July 31, 2005 10:50 PM

Only strippers go super-size.

The rest of us view surgery as a way of opting out of our deflated, droopy, lopsided, can't even walk down a flight of stairs without a bra, post breast feeding existence.

Posted by: Key on July 31, 2005 11:47 PM

Strippers need the extra jiggilege though.

When you're upside down and spinning around a brass pole by holding on with your ankles you need the gyroscopic ballast.

Posted by: Graumagus on August 1, 2005 02:18 AM

I agree with Acidman 100%. My eyes go to the face first, kinda a mirror to her character. Then I make sure she is lean enough that she doesn't waddle, slap thighs and I can get my arms around her.

I also think the big tits are udders. I like the small perky jiggly ones with good size nips.

And I hate the WalMart tits, piercings and tattoos.

And I am a male chauvinist, but I still treat wimmin with respect and dignity until they prove they don't appreciate it - avg time about 15 secs.

Posted by: TomR on August 1, 2005 03:23 AM

I like'm large and natural. But I don't mind if a woman has small ones. In the end it's the woman herself that determines if I like her any.

Posted by: rayh on August 1, 2005 04:27 AM

Personally, I'm a leg man myself. You follow a pair of legs far enough, and they turn into an ass!

Posted by: Bob on August 1, 2005 05:23 AM

It's very cool that you guys think that way. It's the fashion industry that puts so much pressure on. Imagine not being able to find dresses that fit right or look right because the front section is made to be held up by what you don't have.

Ahhhh...but then along comes Victoria' s Secret and makes the Wonder Bra just for that reason..woo hoo!!! So it's like the best of both worlds!!!

Posted by: Kelly on August 1, 2005 08:08 AM

Take it from a woman, we worry more about what other women think of our breast size than what men think of them.

Posted by: Marinaid on August 1, 2005 11:41 AM

I'll take a nice natural B or C cup anyday. Paired with a fine hind end and I'm in heaven.

Posted by: chaos on August 1, 2005 01:45 PM

I like my girls and so does my husband.

The only way I'd ever have any sort of surgery is if my life was in danger.

Posted by: UziQ on August 1, 2005 04:07 PM
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