Gut Rumbles

July 17, 2005

my grandmother

She was feeling depressed today.

She's 94 years old and has already outlived her husband and two of her children. She worries about ME now. I wish that she wouldn't.

She's going blind from macular degeneration but she can still get around on her own. I went outside to smoke a cigarette today and she wanted to come outside with me, in the blistering Georgia heat. I told her to get back inside, that I'd be there in a minute, and she told me not to sass her.

That's my Mommie. She don't put up with NO sass, from NOBODY--- not even a copperhead snake. She insisted that I finish my cigarette before I went back inside, too. I put it out and told her that I was done with it. She couldn't see it anyway.

As we were talking, she said something that disturbed me. "I'm such a burden on everybody today. I can't go to the store, I can't go to the doctor, I can't do ANYTHING anymore without somebody's help. Sometimes I wish that I could just go to sleep and not wake up."

I grabbed her and hugged her (gently, because she is a small, frail woman now--- Bejus, but I remember when she was a BIG, strong farm-wife!) "Don't even think that way, Mommie," I told her. "Too many people love you."

And that's the truth. I am one of those people.


I think you mean MACULAR degeneration.

Unless you are trying to describe the breakdown of college admissions.........

Posted by: rightisright on July 17, 2005 07:39 PM

Dammit, RIR--- you knew what I meant. I was typing that post with tears in my eyes.

Mommie also told me today that my mama was losing her vision the same way before she died. Mama never said a word about that to me.

I wonder if it's hereditary?

Posted by: Acidman on July 17, 2005 08:21 PM

That's what I like to hear. A real man doing a real man's job: Loving his family. No matter how much a prick you may ever pretend to be, we know better.

Our love and prayers to your gramma. .

Posted by: og on July 17, 2005 08:50 PM

I wasn't trying to be pedantic.

My grandmother has macular degeneration.

Some recent studies have found a genetic element may have some role in the development of the disease.

The hardening or narrowing of the blood vessels in the eye lowers the amount of O2 in the macula (part of the retina). It also makes it harder to remove fluid and dead cells. The retina deforms and vision loss ensues.

"Wet" macular degernation is when the blood vessels actually rupture and cause even more vision loss.

Want to do your best to prevent it? Don't smoke and keep your cholesterol low.

Posted by: rightisright on July 17, 2005 09:12 PM

Mommie sounds like an extraordinary woman. 94 and killing a copperhead! Wow!

My grandmother was a "big, strong farm-wife" too.
God I miss her.

Posted by: Blondage on July 17, 2005 10:15 PM

My grandfather has the same thing and takes a vitamin called Ocular Nutrition. And it has stopped his macular degeneration. It is not getting any better but it is not getting any worse. You might want to look into it.

Posted by: gravdigr on July 17, 2005 11:26 PM

Just tell her it's an honor to serve her like she's served so many in her lifetime.

Posted by: Cythen on July 18, 2005 01:45 AM

Why don't you get her a tape recorder and ask her to put down a verbal family history starting with her parents....................tell her you want the record for Sam's children now that your own Mama is gone.

Posted by: Maggie on July 18, 2005 07:40 AM

"Just tell her it's an honor to serve her like she's served so many in her lifetime. "

Not only that, but tell her it is her duty to be served. The honor she received as a server can only be enjoyed by others when there is someone worthy to serve. It's like opening a Christmas present. The receiver is obligated to smile and say how happy they are to have such a good friend.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on July 18, 2005 09:50 AM

As long as people love you and need you you really can't be THAT much of a burden. Lord knows we can all be a pain to those who love us but, what's love for? Wish some of my people who have gone were still around to be a 'burden'. I miss 'em.

Posted by: Jim on July 18, 2005 10:16 AM

Maggie has the idea of the century as far as I am concerned. But use a video cam I have

my mother in law on tape makin bread and chicken soup not a finer recipe exists in the

land and I can watch her make it with all the love she puts into any time I want.

Posted by: arathorn on July 18, 2005 04:33 PM
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