Gut Rumbles

June 29, 2005

misery loves company

I have this same problem. There is NO such thing as an "easy-open" package that I've discovered in my life. I end up ripping the damned thing to shreds every time I try to follow the instructions.

"Press HERE." "Tear Along Dotted Line." "Easy Open-- Easy Close." Bullshit!!! Those things have frustrated me for so long that I don't even try anymore. I grab a big pair of sissors and carve my way into the package. I get what I want and THAT'S "easy-open" for me.

Maybe I just don't follow instructions very well.


I always have trouble with the Freihofers donuts. They must use Gorilla Glue to seal the box, I swear....

And while I think of it....I have a lawn mower that says "One Pull Start" on the handle...One pull start MY GOOD EYE....(maybe if you're Arnold Schwarzenegger its a one pull, but for anyone else, fuggedaboudit!)

Posted by: Ruth on June 29, 2005 10:23 AM

I do the scissors thing. Screw it, I'm in a hurry when I'm in a kitchen cooking.

Well, sometimes I use my Buck knife.

Posted by: Kelly on June 29, 2005 10:51 AM

Hey Rob...

Off-topic, but I just wanted to let ya know that one of our commenters has passed away.

I got the email from Terry Reynold's brother this morning.
He passed away "in front of his computer, which was his window on the world in these days of his illness..."

He told you a thousand times that he really liked you and he was always saying that thru you, he found me and Lord, what a good friend he was to me.

So, thank you from me, too.

And, for the love of God, please take care of yourself.

This is hard enough.
Even the thought of losing you...

Just too much, man.
Too much.

Love ya, Acid-Dude.
Just want ya to know that.

Posted by: Stevie on June 29, 2005 11:06 AM

An *easy to open* package is only easy to open if you have little fingers like a 7 year old.

Rip and tear, that's how it's done.

Posted by: The Mayor on June 29, 2005 11:33 AM

Try opening any fucking thing on a airplane these days. Jebus, I'm thinking of sharpening a credit card to help out!

Posted by: Ed on June 29, 2005 12:00 PM

I can't open a goddam thing by myself. Thats what wives are for. If the wife is not around I have to resort to scissors dammit.

Posted by: assrot on June 29, 2005 12:21 PM

I think it's a given that perforations actually make materials stronger. I don't bother looking for the dotted lines any more.

Posted by: Grinder on July 1, 2005 07:06 AM
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