Gut Rumbles

June 07, 2005

run! hide!

They're already on the prowl. The fat police are coming.

Such crap would be funny if it weren't true.


I'm not too fat. I'm too short! If I was a foot taller my wieght would be just fine.

Posted by: GUYK on June 7, 2005 10:20 PM

STOP THE MADNESS!! It would be hilarious if it were satire, but now its just sad and scary. *sigh*

Posted by: Alli on June 7, 2005 11:21 PM

They have no idea how they have internalized the totalitarian mindset.

Posted by: Brett on June 8, 2005 12:15 AM


Yet one more government overlord.

Don't you get it yet?

Aren't the Republicans in charge now?

It is US versus government, sheeples. No one in government believes they serve US, and we believe the contrary to our own detriment.

Piss in the wind at my words if you will, but I refuse to get wet by a piss stream. You seem determined to need a towel.

So be it.

Posted by: jb on June 8, 2005 12:41 AM

They all got fat from all the pork leftwing looney Sen.Robert KKK Bryd got for them...

Posted by: Ruth on June 8, 2005 07:49 AM

The Fat Police are inside of my fridge
The Fat Police are sent by Tommy Ridge

It's cheap trick I must say.

Posted by: BlogDog on June 8, 2005 08:47 AM

Tom Ridge (the former Secretary of Homeland Security) is now the Fat Police? When did this happen?

Posted by: Ruth on June 8, 2005 08:52 AM

JB must be nursing one hell of a hangover about now. Must be all that aluminum foil he wraps around his head!

Posted by: Ed on June 8, 2005 09:00 AM



Posted by: Ernie G on June 8, 2005 10:13 AM

I had to use Ridge to rhyme with "fridge."
As I said, it was a cheap trick.

Posted by: BlogDog on June 8, 2005 11:45 AM

So, are the fat going to be reprehensible self-indulgent monsters who must be taxed to death, driven from employment, and generally despised.

Or are they going to be the heroic victims of a capitalist conspiracy whose plight must be ameliorated by yet another horde of salaries for Masters of Social Work?

Interesting dilemma the activists. One thing's for sure: they will be paid!

Posted by: Brett on June 8, 2005 12:15 PM

Well if they start taxing by the pound, I am screwed. If they tax by the inch, I am ROYALLY screwed. Anyway you look at it government will find a way to screw those who have the most. No matter what the most is.

Posted by: assrot on June 8, 2005 12:33 PM

Thank you, Blogdog for the inspiration:

"Fat Damage"

The Fat Police are on the grass
The Fat Police are on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the fatties on the path
The Fat Police are in the hall
The Fat Police are in my hall
The bastards hold the blobby faces to the floor
And every day the grocery boy brings more
And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon
The Fat Police are in the fridge
The Fat Police sent by Tom Ridge
You supersize the fries, you make the change
You suck down shakes until I'm sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone eating twinkies but it's not me.
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

Posted by: Ernie G on June 8, 2005 12:45 PM

JB, everyone with common sense (yep, all five of them) already knows that we've got a one-party system with two divisions, but thanks for pointing it out anyway. Rather than using up this bandwith just to verbally bitch-slap people I don't like, I'd like to offer several solutions to our governmental impasse, each successive one more passive than the last:

1. Shoot the bastards, burn Washington D.C. to the ground, and use all this as a warning to the State Governments. Repeat once every fifty years or so for maximum effect.

2. Vote for the opposing party in every election. No matter who it is, vote AGAINST whoever's in the driver's seat now. Get your friends to do this.

3. Ignore the shit until a Federal Law is passed that makes transgression of Political Correctness punishable by death; move to Mexico.

Not much, but a start. 8D

Posted by: JG22 on June 8, 2005 04:57 PM
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