Gut Rumbles
 

April 30, 2005

truth

It's like the old joke. Ltttle Johnny talks Little Sally into a "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" contest. Johnny drops his pants and waves his Roscoe proudly. "What do you think of THAT?" he asks.

Sally says, "Not much," as she drops her own pants. "Mama told he that with one of THESE, I can get all of THOSE that I want."

It's the truth, too. Wimmen know it and they play the pussy-card all the time to get their way. I've heard numerous wimmen say it before, including Jennifer one night at the Chart House Restaurant. "I can have any man in this place if I want him."

Is that pussy-power or what? A semi-good looking woman knows that she has it, too. I saw MANY a woman cruise the bars on River Street without a dime in her pocket back in my guitar-playing days. (I gave a lot of them a ride downtown.) She expected MEN to buy her drinks and it usually worked out that way.

"The fair sex," my ass.

Conniving, hormone-riddled, greedy, heartless, cruel and insane, I'll believe. But "FAIR?" That word never enters into a woman's mind. She's got a pussy and that makes the world her bearded clam. If the damn thing had teeth a lot more men would be walking around with Bobbit-wounds instead of paying divorce lawyers and watching another man live in his house.

Do I sound bitter? Good! I AM bitter.

Wimmen ain't right in the head. I'm sorry, but that's a fact. Wimmen hallucinate regularly, which is what makes them such good detectives. Don't tell me you've never heard this: "I heard what you said, but that's not what you MEANT!" See? SHE knows what you meant, even if you simply said, "Good morning."

What you REALLY meant was my ass is fat, you don't love me anymore, you think I'm a shitty person and I'm going out to get some reassurance from my female friends, who will take my side and understand my telepathic prowess, and then encourage me to go to a bar and exercise my pussy power.

If my insurance will cover it, I'm going to have my bionics removed. It ain't half the dick I once had anyway, and all it's ever done in my life is get me in trouble. I am ready to become monkish.

Pussy ain't that big a deal to me anymore. It damn sure ain't worth the price you pay for it. Especially the "free" stuff.

I'll write about marriage vows next.

Comments

You know....you were the first blog I ever read and I check in here more than a few times a day so I obviously enjoy reading you. Or I used to. IMNSHO, you need to use that insurance for some therapy. Then maybe your bionic dick won't get you in so much trouble.

We are NOT all the same.

Christ.

Posted by: hcky on April 30, 2005 07:58 PM

Now THAT is some vintage Acidman.

Posted by: rightisright on April 30, 2005 08:12 PM

It's kinda funny how you manage to indite an entire sex -- some 52% of the world -- based on very limited experience. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you *are* the problem?

But, the upside is, your doing a great portraying yourself as a misogynist redneck. Keep it up, it's gota be good for the traffic, we all like a good wreck. If your serious, your doomed to a lonely life of misery. Enjoy it, and, by all means, keep entertaining us with your long-winded tales of woe.

Keep comin' back.

Posted by: Al on April 30, 2005 08:41 PM

Ah, women. They are a matter of perspective and experience, aren't they? My own mother used to call me "cuntlips" "cuntface" "worthless" and "fuckface" every time she was mad at me. Also used to hit me, choke me, rip my clothes and threaten to send me to live with my father, who was "even worse." She used to tell me how much better her own life would have been had she made the decision not have "worthless children." Based on my personal experience, mothers suck.

Yet, based on what I have read on this website, I know there is at least one mother who was loving, kind, big-hearted, generous, and awesome. Rob, reading about your mother helped me, so thank you for sharing your experience with a good woman with me. Your mom has helped me hate motherhood less.

Sincerely,
CF CL FF Worthess Woman Reader

Maybe THAT'S WHY I keep reading this site. Somehow, reading about Rob's "wimmen" seems so very much like home.

Posted by: Renee on April 30, 2005 08:55 PM

Hehehe.

Put down the spoon and step away from the pot.

Posted by: Chablis on April 30, 2005 09:04 PM

For "AL", above: "indite" is spelled "indict".
To AcidMan: I've always like the phrase "sexual celebrity"...definitely applicable to what you're talking about.

Posted by: Graz on April 30, 2005 09:22 PM

Love your blog, but perhaps you need more fiber in your diet.

We aren't ALL that bad. You know seriously, it's not all dicks and pussies.....

If you didn't love us wimmen as much as you do, you wouldn't write about us so much.

Feebes

Posted by: Lori on April 30, 2005 09:46 PM

you may have the same problem I used to have reading the comment just prior to this. I have been married four times. The last time was after i quit drinking and although she left after 18 years, i am still sober and more importantly single. Who knew AA could cure other bad habits!

Posted by: PGross on April 30, 2005 10:02 PM

Glad to see the Acidman is REALLY Back.
but
They are not all the same, they look differently so you can tell which one is going to take half your stuff next.
other than that.....
They' ARE all the same !

Posted by: Todd on April 30, 2005 10:03 PM

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Making broad generalizatons about broads gets you no sympathy from me. YOU chose her, you wedded her, you bedded her. You made a bad decision, and I'm sure you let your Roscoe do your talking for you and look what it got you.

And judging from this post, you haven't really learned a damn thing from it. Not as long as you blame evil woman for your plight. Remember, you had a hand (er, so to speak) in it too.

Posted by: Joni on May 1, 2005 01:54 AM

Amen, Joni.

And making sweeping generalizations about women is just another way to rationalize one's own behavior, and provides an easy excuse for not changing it.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Whatever makes you happy.

Posted by: Trish on May 1, 2005 02:30 AM

Funny you should say that about pussy because dick ain't that big a deal to me these days. Must be an age thing.

Posted by: Nelly on May 1, 2005 04:02 AM

Joni

Ouch!

Those red toe-nails make you shoot real flipping straight!

:-)

I won't psychoanalyze our common friend . . . I do not need to start yet another career. But then, you Killed any potential career in two paragraphs.

You listening, RS? She's right, Bubba, if you would but listen. I really wish you could listen.

You could grow past what ails ya. If ya want to, that is. jabbers

Posted by: jb on May 1, 2005 04:47 AM

Feh. He's just jealous he has to buy his own drinks when he goes out.

Posted by: Erik on May 1, 2005 06:59 AM

Wimmen ain't right in the head.

If they were, we'd never get any.

Posted by: McGehee on May 1, 2005 09:19 AM

Divorce = The fucking you get for the fucking you got.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on May 1, 2005 10:23 AM

Seems to me I've read that same post on here before.
Funny how men blame the "pussy" when it is THEIR obsession with it that gives it the very power they profess to detest!
Remember the only power anyone or anything can have over YOU is the power YOU give them/it.
Quit being so damn obsessed about the pussy Mr and get a freaking hobby!

Posted by: livey on May 1, 2005 03:12 PM

You are pathetic. You put all women in one group. Well the women you describe are skanks and whores. Any man who goes to a bar and expects to meet a good woman deserves the slutty coniving bitch he gets. Try upping your standards. And if you aren't married you shouldn't be having sex anyway.

Posted by: Brita on May 1, 2005 03:44 PM

Fred Reed (www.fredoneverything.net) has some good articles concerning why *most* American women are "an internationally recognized horror." There's one up near the top discussing the difference between "Gringas" and "Mexicanas."

Posted by: JG22 on May 1, 2005 08:30 PM

If I ever lose my mind and actually propose to someone, I'm calling you Rob and hopefully you'll talk some sense into me. My best friend got married yesterday. He gave his cunt of a wife 30,000 dollars to pay for the wedding but it wasn't enough. She was almost 5000 overbuget when it was all over and that doesn't even include 10,000 he spent on the ring. What the hell is wrong with wimmen? How can they throw hard earned money away on stupid shit like flowers and dresses and not even think twice about it? Your love is never enough for them. They take and take and never give anything back. But if you don't give them what they want when they want it you'll never heard the end of it. They never forgive and they'll take their revenge in the most personally humiliating way they can. Monsters. I wish i could rid myself of my natural impulses and be done with them forever. I hate the power they have over me and the fact that they will envitably abuse it.

Posted by: Nathan on May 2, 2005 04:47 AM

I think Rob said some time ago that "Men may think with their dicks, but Wimmen think with their pussies."

Posted by: JG22 on May 2, 2005 04:47 PM

A pussy hair is the strongest thing on earth. It can move mountains, start wars and send men to the moon.

Posted by: roux on May 2, 2005 11:27 PM

One pussy hair has more power than a roomful of saints.

Wish I could remember who said that.

Posted by: maggot on May 4, 2005 11:13 AM

One comment I've heard dozens of times from women is the claim that as sex is the only area in which women have a natural advantage, they have the right to treat men as badly as they may wish.

Try to square that with the feminist position that men should voluntarily give up their natural advantages (they are legion) in the interest of fairness.

Selfish bitches. Modern feminism is the contemporary expression of female vanity.

Posted by: Brett on May 4, 2005 12:13 PM
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