Gut Rumbles

April 10, 2005


Tiger Woods won the Masters again today. I am now totally convinced of two things. First, he is a great golfer.

Second, he is the luckiest sumbitch I ever saw.


When black people start playing hockey, the myth of Caucasian sports equality will finally be demolished, and we'll end up forming a special handicap league for us and the Asians.

It took the power of segregated country clubs to keep golf and tennis safe this long, but Tiger Woods and the Williams Sisters finally slipped through the net.

I'm not sure what we're still good for. I think we float better, so maybe we'll stay competitive in water polo.

Posted by: Steve H. on April 10, 2005 10:10 PM

That shot on the 16th hole was history - pure and simple. If I live to see another shot like'll be a miracle.

Posted by: Tammi on April 10, 2005 10:31 PM

There's always bowling. :-P

Posted by: Juliette on April 10, 2005 10:31 PM

Great match. Sorry that someone had to come in second. It took the liberals to try to ruin golf by referring to Tiger Woods as a black golfer rather than just a great golfer. The sport is color blind and someone succeeds or fails based on his own ability. That's the way our country used to be. Is chess a sport?

Posted by: Woody on April 10, 2005 10:49 PM

How did this post become anything about race? That shot Tiger hit on #16 was a miracle, but I've seen him do that before. The tee shit on #14 was pure luck. He should have ended up in the bushes with an unplayable lie--- instead, he bounced off a tree and landed in the first cut of rough with a shot at the green.

Plus, if Chris DeMarco had made ANY of the several short putts he missed on the front nine, Tiger wouldn't be wearing that green jacket tonight.

It was basically a good, two-man tournament. Tiger won, fair and square. But he was lucky as hell to pull it off.

And the color of his complexion has nothing to do with that fact.

Posted by: Acidman on April 10, 2005 11:19 PM

It ain't luck when you beat everyone's ass nearly every time.

Posted by: Steve H. on April 11, 2005 12:06 AM

AHhh shit, man.

We done still have the "Hold my beer and watch this" Olympics sewn up tight.

Posted by: rightisright on April 11, 2005 01:44 AM

Relax, darling. I can't run and I'm half Kenyan.

Posted by: Juliette on April 11, 2005 03:45 AM

I have to bring this to Steve H's attention, as I seem to remember a hockey incident from five years ago, where a Donald Brashear then playing for Vancouver was knocked unconscious by Marty McSorely of the Bruins.

Donald Brashear is a black hockey player, if you didn't know.

Anyhoo, check out
for more information on notable black hockey players.

And personally, I really don't care what a person's color or ethnicity is when they compete in sports, nor do I care for Hockey *as I don't live in a place where ice or snow forms naturally*.

Posted by: KenS on April 11, 2005 04:52 AM

I think the "lucky" comment means Acidman saw Mrs. Woods... Oof...

Posted by: Jay G on April 11, 2005 08:40 AM

Yes, Mrs. Woods is something special as was that shot on 16. I think Bobbie Jones himself my have helped that one fall in...

Posted by: Florida Bill on April 11, 2005 09:15 AM

Preparation plus opportunity equals luck.

Posted by: The Other Mike S on April 11, 2005 10:27 AM

Good players typically create their own good luck. Congrats to Tiger for winning his fourth green jacket. Lucky or not, it took a lot of skill to get to that status.

Posted by: Dash on April 11, 2005 10:42 AM

A white hockey player knocked out a black player? Sure, because he knew his inferior white genes wouldn't let him win any other way. Let's face it. We suck at sports, and in ten years, ALL professional athletes will be black or Polynesian.

Except for jockeys.

Posted by: Steve H. on April 11, 2005 04:59 PM

Black hockey players? I',m sure there are.
Segregated Country clubs, comming soon.
Color of ones skin? Who gives a fuck? I sure don't
Find a left handed polo player and I will personally kiss your ass. I'm still and will be laughing...yee haw!

Posted by: murry on April 12, 2005 04:14 AM
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