Gut Rumbles

March 27, 2005

Australian Rules football

Back when I was doing my stint as a relief supervisor and eating a steady diet of 3-to-11 shifts, I developed the habit of watching ESPN when I got home at night. I found two things that I really liked watching. One was "full-contact karate," which proved to me something I've known all my life--- a good boxer will kick the shit out of one of those whirling, fly-kick-throwing Bruce Lee wannabees every time.

That shit may look pretty in the movies, but I have a reality alert for you here. You DO NOT want to tangle with anybody who has boxed professionally or even at the Golden Gloves level. That guy will beat the living shit out of you. They know how to throw a punch that comes from the toenails up, and you ain't gonna like it when it hits you. You probably won't even remember it after the lights go out.

That karate shit is way over-blown today. A good boxer will dismantle a karate expert in an all-out fight, every time. If you REALLY want to meet a bad-ass, watch a good wrestler. HE will take apart both the karate dude AND the boxer. A grappler who knows what he's doing is a dangerous man. If he gets his hands on you, you're fucked.

But, I digress... I was going to talk about Australian Football. Now THAT is a GAME! It's a strange combination of rugby and American football, and it's played full-tilt with no pads. Those sumbitches are ALL crazy to be doing that. They beat the shit out of each other and I like watching that kind of sport. Plus, I liked the referees with their colored flags.

I watched that stuff long enough to pick my favorite team and learn who the the equivilent of the "bad-boy" Oakland Raiders were. I booed the bad guys and cheered for my team every time I watched them play. I woke my first ex-wife up at 4:00 in the morning a few times while I was jumping up and down in front of the TV and yelling "KILL HIM!!! KILL HIM!!!" while watching one of those games.

Stick soccer up your ass. Australian football is a REAL game.


No shit! Man, I'm sure there are contact rules but I ain't figured 'em out yet. Those sum bitches close line each other, put a forearm right in the mug of the opponent. I've seen all out cowboy punchin'! And it ain't over when you get tackled...Nope, they all pile on you and kick the shit outta you. I don't know what goes on under those dog piles but I bet it'd make most NFL stars cry. Its kinda like WWF football. Yeah that's it. It fuckin' rules.

Posted by: DONGER on March 27, 2005 06:34 PM

You're dead-on regarding wrestlers and boxers. My #2 son was champion caliber in wrestling (high school) and now ju-jitsu. He has a friend who kick-boxes. Standing, the boxer has him. But once on the ground, it's no contest the other way.

Posted by: Mike on March 27, 2005 07:08 PM

I think even the St. John Ambulance guys are fair game when they get out on the field.

Posted by: big al on March 27, 2005 07:25 PM

Not sure what kinda jiu-jitsu your son is taking. But there are styles out there (Brazilian-Gracie style jiu-jitsu, vale-tudo which is basically brazilian jiu-jitsu w/o the gi. More realistic to street fighting.) They teach an absolutely dominating stand-up fight as well as traditional grappling. Israeli Krav Maga....supah bad! I'll put one of these dudes up against a boxer any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Keep this in mind, Mike...All....ALL streetfights go to the ground....ALL. Yer kid has the advantage. Its not about "stand-up" vs ground fighting. Its about no holds barred street fighting and who comes out on top....It will always be the guy who can handle himself on the ground. ALWAYS.

Posted by: DONGER on March 27, 2005 07:34 PM

All depends on how you train in your selected art. One of the biggest advantages boxers have is that they have been hit and hit hard. They know how to deal with getting smashed in the head. If you have never been hit hard in the head, you are not going to have a single wit about you if it happens in a street fight.

Alot depends on the person. I have trained in various disciplines for years. I was also a bouncer for 5 years. I have seen black belts that my grandmother could kick the shit out of. And I have seen 150# guys that I wouldn't want to fuck with (I am 6'2" 260#). A lot of it is attitude. It is foolish to say a boxer could kick the shit out of any martial artist.

And donger, not nearly ALL street fights end up on the ground. Most do, but not all. I can testify to witnessing at least a dozen one punch knockouts.

And REAL Krav is badass. The watered down version available in the states ain't so great. The school I am at now uses some Krav techniques (with Boxing, Small Circle and Kempo). We go full contact. Not like some mamby-pamby Tae Kwon Do classes. My instructor trained with Wally Jay and Rick Moneymaker, so he knows his shiot.

Posted by: rightisright on March 27, 2005 07:54 PM

Oh yeah, the post was about Australian Rules.

We used to get liquored up on weeknights and watch it back in my college days. I still have no friggin clue as to the rules. But man it was fun to watch.

And those guys were some ballsy ass mofos.

Posted by: rightisright on March 27, 2005 08:02 PM

RIGHTISRIGHT, Yer right except one punch knockouts are in my humble opinion, not a fight. Boxers DO have solid chins...granted. But you don't see alot of bonafide serious defesive tactics gurus going for punches to the face...waste of energy. There are much more efficient techniques at the desposal of a true fighter. I don't give a wombat shit how tough your chin is, you let a grappler worth his salt pop a few joints outta place or break a few long bones or, what the hell, choke you to don't matter...whether you got knocked out or choked out...out is out. Yep I've been hit real hard in my day. (Tyrone earned my respect. See my comment on "Have you ever been knocked out?" Thank God Tyrone was not a grappler!) Point is you better not be counting on that golden punch on one of them cauliflower earred, bull necked wrestlers. Chances are before you put yer dukes up he's in the process of showing you how limber you ain't. One punch KO's happen alot in bars. ( you said you were a bouncer) that ain't no coincidence.

Posted by: DONGER on March 27, 2005 08:50 PM

Aussie Rules is broadcast on a DC area "independent public TV station" (I kid you not) and after watching regularly for about the last two years, visiting the official website, reading up on the rules and *watching* a lot of it, I could probably explain what's happening as it unfolded.
The game is GREAT! I have my team (Collingwood), a team I hate (Brisbane) and I even bought a Richmond Tigers jersey (guernsey) since it has the great ad line on the back: "Drink. Drive. Bloody idiot." I love it.

Posted by: BlogDog on March 27, 2005 09:16 PM

I like AFL and don't like soccer, no doubt about that, huge difference in fun when playing and watching both.

Plus I'm from Brisbane, my team wins.

Posted by: DaveJ on March 28, 2005 02:32 AM

The Brisbane Lions are a bunch of thugs. I will watch their descent down the ladder with glee.

Posted by: BlogDog on March 28, 2005 11:27 AM

I carry a knife.

Posted by: Steve H. on March 28, 2005 01:48 PM

Bruce Lee recommended the study of boxing because it had the most-developed hand techniques. He is also supposed to have said that any kick thrown to a target above the waist was wasted - unless it was just for show.

What I find interesting is that the full-contact karate people had to require a certain number of kicks per round, and the fighters usually got them out of the way early. Muy Thai fighters seem to use a lot of kicks without being required to - perhaps it's the difference in techniques that makes the difference in results?

And I used to love watching Australian rules football when I had cable.

Posted by: wheels on March 28, 2005 07:08 PM

I guess from living in Australia all my life I have grown up with Australian Rules Football, I do not see it as rough. It is a part of our culture and we are just used to it I guess. But compared to other sports it may be seen as rough or crazy.

I think its great that, people outside of Australia are beginning to have some understanding of our game. Bring it on

"Go the Saints"

Posted by: AJ on June 13, 2005 11:54 PM
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