Gut Rumbles

March 26, 2005

a pussy game

I still say soccer (or futbol as they say in Costa Rica) is a pussy game. No hands, no hitting and not a lot happening on the field except a bunch of running around for an hour or so. But it's dangerous to be a spectator.

This kind of crap happens all the time at soccer games, all over the world. I don't understand it. I think soccer SUCKS and the only reason I would ever watch a game is because my son is playing in it or I am in Costa Rica. The idea of pitching a riot over that pussy game just doesn't enter into my head.

I can understand wanting to kick somebody's ass at a University of Georgia football game, especially if they're playing Auburn or Georgia Tech. But SOCCER?

Gimme a break.


Soccer fans are driven insane by boredom.

Posted by: Phil on March 26, 2005 05:50 PM

I'd rather watch grass grow than sit through a freakin' soccer match.

One of my best friends willnot let his sons play soccer. He says it is part of the "feminization of America". I tend to agree.

Posted by: rightisright on March 26, 2005 06:59 PM

And then there's those dumbass soccer-ball magnets the soccer moms put on the hindquarters of their overpriced minivans and SUV's.

Those magnets must be made of the densest material known to man, since the weight they add typically reduces the vehicle's top speed to 10mph below the limit. They must also have some mystical force field that compels cellphone use by the driver.

At least they ease identification of drivers likely to pull stupid manuevers....

Posted by: Grumpy Old Ham on March 26, 2005 08:26 PM

Let's see...a bunch of super-fit guys running around in shorts...

Yeah, I'll watch.

Posted by: Grace on March 26, 2005 10:18 PM

I saw a huge fight erupt at a match in Cairo when the two top teams, and class-based rivals, were playing. It was pretty damn funny, listening to Arabic profanity and watching the nancy-boy supporters of the "posh" team get their asses beaten.

Posted by: Jordan on March 26, 2005 11:59 PM

You guys are full of it on this one. Is it as good as American football? No. But pussies? Try running for 90 minutes with people crashing their spikes into your largely unprotected legs. This post and the comments reek of ignorance. And remember, Costa Rican league football is to the English and Italian leagues as pop warner is to the NFL. I always hated soccer and never played it, but after getting some exposure through traveling and getting to know Hornsbyesque footie fans, I was able to gain an appreciation for the game and the experience. It is different than what we Americans typically appreciate, but it is still great. That said, the violence sucks and the U.S. got robbed by the Nazis in Korea!

Posted by: Chris on March 27, 2005 12:22 AM

In Australia, soccer is called "wogball" by some people.
Just sayin'

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on March 27, 2005 04:40 AM

So sissies can run a long time. Who the fuck wants to watch a buncha Fabio's run around for 90 min only to have the end score 1-0 after overtime. The crowd is much more entertaining than the game. I think they have violent fans because its the only outlet the poor masses have. Say what you want dude, Europeans have sissy games. Not saying there's no talent in twinkle toeing a ball down the field passed a bunch of other sissies. But there's talent in weaving baskets. That don't mean I want to watch it.....SISSIES!

Posted by: DONGER on March 27, 2005 10:48 AM

Full Contact I'd watch that!

Posted by: DONGER on March 27, 2005 10:51 AM

I like Austrailan Rules football. That's a non-pussy game!

Posted by: Acidman on March 27, 2005 05:16 PM

Football (or "soccer" as Americans call it) is about as interesting a game as you can get. It has strategy, tactics, individual skill and stamina.

As for boredom, imagine a game which takes 60 minutes to play, but lasts 180 minutes because of a.) TV commercial timeouts b.) player substitutions (talk about fucking wussies -- leave a game because ytou're TIRED?) and c.) intervals between plays while managers stop to think about it.

That would be American "football" (more accurately called "throwball" or even more accurately "yawnball").

What bullshit.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on March 27, 2005 06:32 PM

"Football (or "soccer" as Americans call it) is about as interesting a game as you can get. It has strategy, tactics, individual skill and stamina."

Maybe so, but I'd still rather watch grass grow. Or even the WNBA.

Posted by: rightisright on March 27, 2005 08:00 PM

The "leaving when you are tired" is called TEAMWORK jeese! The game is about more than a single player. There's many a man walking around today who learned more about life from their high school football coach than from their Fathers. I'd rather watch 10 year old reruns of American Football than one sissy soccer game. People who played and understand the difference between a 54 and a 43 defense. Cover 2 from Cover 3. Pro set vs power I. When you played it opens up a whole new level of understanding about the strategy in that game.

Posted by: DONGER on March 27, 2005 09:05 PM

To Hell with Georgia!

Oh, yeah, and Tech, too, but y'all first!

Posted by: Justthisguy on March 28, 2005 12:14 AM

The problem with many of you is that when you call european football a wussy game, you demonstrate that you don't know enough about it to discuss it intelligently. Does that make you intellectual wussies? And just to swat away some of the ignorance, the most common score is 2-1, which is similar to 14-7 in american football.

Donger wrote: "When you played it opens up a whole new level of understanding about the strategy in that game."

Gee guys, think the same might hold true for soccer tactics?

I played our football--not theirs--but really Donger, throwing around a few generic formations and coverages while ignoring soccer counterparts, e.g. the 4-4-2, is weak.

Teamwork is the 11 guys on the field, not the guys on and off. The two sports use different substitution policies, each with their merits.

Posted by: Chris on March 28, 2005 12:35 AM

Chris, Like it would've done any good to throw out technical football slang and complex play formations...You're slow so I'll spell it out for you....My point is that if you understand the basic "generic" fundamentals about football then you begin to appreciate the game. YOU obviously know nothing about teamwork if you say its about the 11 men on the field and not the guys substituting in and out on the sidelines. That's fuckin' bullshit! Go ahead and prance around in yer Umbro's with yer cute little knee highs and tell me soccer's not a pussy sport. I already said I'm sure it takes talent but that doesn't mean it will ever make it in this country as a professional sport that the masses gather to see. DREAM ON. Like it or not, Americans like contact sports. We like seeing a guy get his bell rung, We like Boxing, wrestling and football. SOCCER IS A NON-CONTACT...(excuse me...ahem, MINIMAL-CONTACT) sport. Gettin kicked in the shin hurts like a mother fucker I'm sure. But that ain't contact sports dude. Not by American standards. You like soccer? GREAT! Play that sissy shit! But if you came on here to talk about soccer not being a pussy game. You missed your mark!

Posted by: DONGER on March 28, 2005 09:04 AM

Basketball is rougher than soccer.

Posted by: Acidman on March 28, 2005 10:51 AM

Yeah, at least it (even golf) have a target goal about 1 1/2 times the size of the ball. Soccer goal like, what, 14 feet? And they still only score 2-1.
We got a pretty cool game with the same type strategy as soccer...its called Hockey. Dudes get fucked up in hocky. And its OK to fight. How fuckin' cool is that?! ACIDMAN, case closed. I think it has been established that Soccer is for pussies.

Posted by: DONGER on March 28, 2005 03:46 PM

a wusses game try american football lots of men coverd from head to toe in padding and shouting shit at each other at least in soccer if theres a fight sum1 will get hurt

Posted by: English Football fan on December 24, 2005 01:53 PM is for pussies, try a real sport like college wrestling of football

Posted by: bob on May 28, 2007 07:10 PM

The funny thing is, all you lazy bastards have never played the sport and have no idea about the skill level involved. I'm from Australia and I would rather play a sport that involves crunching tackles when they are necessary, not like the morons that tackle people out of sheer incapability of playing a sport any other way. Soccer takes more balls than wearing full body armour in grid iron, and beating the shit out of each other in Aussie rules.
Yeah, there are some pussies in soccer, like the Italians in the last world cup, but I have one name for you ignorant pussies...John Hopoate. What did he do? Stick his fingers up every players arse that he so 'manly' tackled playing football.

If you guys want agression take it out in the gym, maybe that way you might lose the giant arses you get from watching your non pussy sports and be able to play a real sport.

Posted by: Dick on August 30, 2007 10:41 PM

Basketball is about the pussiest sport as they come.
Slap on the wrist...foul. Shoulder to shoulder contact...foul, 50/50 ball...jump ball, unlimited substitutions, run of play last what 10 secs at most...last 5 mins of the game takes 20 mins to play! Geesh!

You foul someone and no, you don't go a man down, you put the pressure on them and make them shoot baskets that are worth 1/2 of what a normal shot would be and on top of that you give everyone 5 fouls to make.

Basketball is a flawed sport: Keep the clock running, give everyone 2 or 3 fouls before they are ejected (without substitution), sub in 3 guys at most the entire game and stop letting B-Ball players be pussies and maybe I'll pay atttention.

Posted by: ed on June 18, 2008 12:23 AM

I live in America.
I play soccer.
A lot of my friends play football. I've never seen bruises anywhere but their forearms and shins.
That's where I get all mine.
You also may not realize what metal cleats can do to you. I got a 4-inch long gash on the side of my leg and had to have quite a few stitches. You also may not realize what it is like to run for 90: it hurts all over. Being stamped on the foot my someone who weighs about 150lbs and can kick a dead ball over 75 yards is pretty painful too. I'm not saying football is a pussy sport, but soccer certainly isn't. It has a lot more contact than baseball, and probably basketball. If you want a sport to make fun of, make it cricket; the players stand around for a couple days watching the game as much as the spectators are.
So haters, find something else to hate.

Posted by: Don't Hate, Appreciate on May 19, 2010 10:11 PM
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