Gut Rumbles

March 24, 2005


I don't own any guns--- lets's get that straight right off the bat. But if I DID own any guns, they wouldn't be elephant-killers or some semi-assault rifles that seem to make little men think they have big dicks.

Naw... if I were going to own any guns, I'd have a few .22s, maybe two rifles, one target pistol and a very small 5-shot derringer. If I wanted a revolver, I'd have a Ruger .357 magnum with a gunslinger holster to ride on my hip. I might also have a Colt .38 with a shoulder holster and a S&W Ladysmith, just to keep me in touch with my feminine side.

For long guns, I might have a single-shot .410 shotgun and a Winchester .12 gauge pump and a Remington .30-06 with a really nice scope on it. I might also have .380 and 9mm semi-auto pistols. I might also own a Crossman .177 pellet rifle, which is the most death-dealing gun that I DON'T own. Ask squirrel ghosts about that one.

I think guns are eeeeevil. That's why I don't own any.


What's your beef with assult rifles? I own one, and never have I questioned the immensity of my dick.

But seriously though, why think badly of a man if he has an assult rifle? I don't see your correlation. I just think they're fun to own and shoot.

Posted by: Michael on March 24, 2005 02:40 PM

A 5-shot derringer?

Too bad you don't own one, otherwise you could send me a pic...

Posted by: Kim du Toit on March 24, 2005 02:58 PM

I think he's kiddin' dude. He's a Libertarian. I don't think you can be Libertarian and think guns are eeeeevil.

Posted by: DONGER on March 24, 2005 03:01 PM

"A 5-shot derringer?"

That word you keep using? I do not think it means what you think it means...

Posted by: Jay G on March 24, 2005 03:34 PM

Likewise, I own several various military-style repating rifles (from an AG-42B to an AR-15, and many that aren't even direct gas-operated!), but it has nothing to do with Mr. Winky.

I just like machines of that sort, and military history.

(Which explains why I also have a 106 year old bolt-action...)

Posted by: Sigivald on March 24, 2005 03:45 PM

semi-assault rifles that seem to make little men think they have big dicks.

Excuse me? I've got a couple of those weapons of which you speak and I have no problem with my whisker dick.

Not too much gives me the joy of burning through several hundred rounds and then going back home and spending the next couple of hours dismantling the guns and giving them a good cleaning and oiling.

That's just me though.

Also, I think that you might be wise, just for the sake of the hypothetical, for you to maybe have a good lever gun like a Winchester 30-30, or better yet, a Marlin 45-70.

By the way, I did buy a new toy a couple of days ago; a "loaded" Springfield .45 auto.

Posted by: Daniel Medley on March 24, 2005 04:09 PM

That assault rifle (sic) isn't going to make my pecker bigger? How do I explain it to the wife now?

Posted by: Curtis on March 24, 2005 04:15 PM

.. a "S&M Ladysmith" sounds interesting...

Posted by: Eric on March 24, 2005 04:41 PM

Ruger .357 (can take cheaper .38 rounds for practice), Winchester 12 gauge pump (defender model), 22 and 30-06 rifles… man, we don’t have a lot of the same guns.
BTW, Isn't that S&W Ladysmith, as in smith/wesson?.... S&M is funny though.

Posted by: Pete on March 24, 2005 04:48 PM

I am trying to find a 410 single or double barrel pistol, any ideas? Cat.

Posted by: catfish on March 24, 2005 05:01 PM

S&W Airweight .442 - hammerless aka baby

Posted by: Maggie on March 24, 2005 05:12 PM

I am not armed with a Mosberg 12-ga riot shotgun with pistol grip. 24" of pure noise and loaded with 0-0 buckshot ... but since I don't own it, you probably don't have to worry about breaking into my bedroom at night .... or maybe not.

Posted by: Max on March 24, 2005 05:25 PM

I used to be a cop in a large southern city. I got shot with an "assult rifle". I'm here to tell you that it felt exactly the same as a non-assulat rifle would have. The prick wasn't supposed to have any guns though as he was a convicted felon. Hard to believe he disobeyed the gun laws huh? I had a S&W model 686 revolver............he had a 30 round magazine and a Mini-14. I still won. Fuck him.

I personally own a Mini-14, though I do have a very large dick. Then again, maybe my dick has grown because I DO have so many guns. Never explored the correlation........

Posted by: Bill on March 24, 2005 05:27 PM

I always wanted to buy one of these way back when I lived in Doraville and went to the Eastman's gun shows... Small enough to be hidden in a belt clip holster and 5 rounds of 22 Mag. Tiny even in comparison to the little Italian 380 I carried.

Posted by: Gmac on March 24, 2005 06:44 PM

I'm with Jay G. A derringer isn't just any old teensy handgun. That thing is a revolver.

Posted by: dipnut on March 24, 2005 07:45 PM

More people are killed with a 22, than all the others put together. I got one just like the picture, I have had it for 15 years and it is very sharp at 5 feet, over 5 and watchout, maybe it will come back to you. And loud, if you don't hit the SOB, then he will die from a heart attach.

Posted by: catfish on March 24, 2005 07:51 PM

More people are killed with a 22, than all the others put together. I got one just like the picture, I have had it for 15 years and it is very sharp at 5 feet, over 5 and watchout, maybe it will come back to you. And loud, if you don't hit the SOB, then he will die from a heart attack.

Posted by: catfish on March 24, 2005 07:51 PM

Whoa billy!
Being a cop gives you 2.5 on the scale of swosewecrs...Sorry you couldn't run fast enough, minus 1.5....SW revolver minus .5. Felon getting over on you minus 1.0.... I guess you still won though, you have a giant cock, and lots of guns, AND YOU CAN STILL RUN..... And a head that is so full of shit, it should be imploded...
Go "squirt" a whore. You are tough billy! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Posted by: murry on March 25, 2005 03:04 AM

Murray, what the fuck are you talking about? What is a "swosewecrs"? What does "squirt a whore mean" mean? and lastly, why would you think my head is full of shit? You don't know me asswipe. As far as the S&W is concerned, it's called "Department Issued". think they let you carry whatever you want? Running? Listen up douchebag, I've got scars and lead to back up my post. What gives you the nerve to question my courage? You ever do anything except post on blogs? I doubt it.

I'll tell you what tough guy. I give Acidman my fullpermission to e-mail you with my e-mail address. You send me an e-mail,and I will give you my phone number so we can set a meeting. I can get to the Atlanta area in about 6 hours. What do you say to that you worm?

You think I'm bullshititng you give me a try and see bad boy.

Posted by: Bill on March 25, 2005 04:51 PM

Stainless steel, Smith and Wesson, Model 686, 4 in, Distinguished Combat Magnum in .357 cal.....I'm gettin a hard on! I own one and if I had to pick one hand gun I have that is the most reliable most accurate, knock yer dick in yer watch pocket powerful....this is it! Murray, you can't type worth a shit. I have no Idea what that schizo shit meant but you obviously don't know anything about guns. S&W 686 is a damn fine firearm, standard issue in some depts still to this day...and for a reason. Bill didn't miss did he?

Posted by: DONGER on March 25, 2005 05:19 PM

He wrote that shit at 3 o'clock in the morning. He obviously was sleeping at the time.

Posted by: DONGER on March 25, 2005 05:27 PM
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