Gut Rumbles

March 15, 2005

it starts tomorrow

Savannah's annual St. Patrick's Day orgy starts tomorrow. Yeah, I know that the actual St. Patrick's Day isn't until the 17th, but that miniscule detail won't stop the party, and it will continue until the bars close next Sunday night. If you've never seen St. Patrick's Day, in Savannah, you have not lived a complete life. "Orgy" is the right word to use.

If you wish to LIVE a complete, life, however, I suggest that you stay the hell away. It can become very, very crazy.

The parade is really nice, but the serious stuff starts after the parade. Just imagine almost ONE MILLION PEOPLE crammed into Savannah, with most of them drunker than a barn owl, with azealias and dogwoods in full bloom everywhere, people drinking green beer and pretty wimmen crammed into the streets like sardines in a can.

I intend to keep my Cracker ass in Effingham County for the next five days or so. I know very few people who grew up in Savannah who DON'T have a few St. Patrick's Day adventure stories to tell. I have some good ones, which I might share over the next few days.

I have been maced. I have been thrown into a paddy wagon and then immediately released because I was taking up valuable room the police needed for somebody else. I have gotten laid with a complete stranger. I have seen a dead body bleeding on the Abercorn ramp to River Street. (He fell from one of those walk-over bridges above the ramp.) I once pissed in an alley while standing next to Hizzoner the Mayor, John Rosakis, who ALSO was pissing in the alley at the time.

I've probably seen 1,000 titties from back in the days when wimmen would flash their boobs for a handful of beads or a tee shirt. I've gotten so drunk that I don't remember how I found my way home. I once made almost $300 in tips for playing a two-hour matinee gig in a River Street bar after the parade. I also TENDED bar down there once and I know FOR SURE that the owner sold 35 kegs of beer that day, because I helped haul the full ones and replace the empties.

Savannah is a fairly conservative town. But once every year, this "beautiful lady with a dirty face" kicks up her heels, throws away her panties and runs wild. That crap starts tomorrow.

I once loved being a part of it. Now, I want to stay far, far away. I'm too old for that shit anymore and I damn sure ain't driving from Effingham County and back hoping to dodge the cops when I have a belly full of green beer.

Have YOU ever been to Savannah on St. Patrick's Day?


Our anniversary is on St. Patty's Day, so we'll be attending the parade. My family is coming to town to take part in the festivities, so I'll be right in the middle of it from Thursday night until sometime early Sunday morning.

Fun fun. I hope I'm still alive come Monday.

Posted by: Gennie on March 15, 2005 04:56 PM

Gennie, enjoy the weekend. I just blasted you on my blog.

Posted by: Acidman on March 15, 2005 06:25 PM

LOL...color me lucky. I would start to worry if you weren't.

Posted by: Gennie on March 15, 2005 06:47 PM

I've never been to Savannah at all. I do want to go sometime. I plan to check out the St. Paddy's parties some year, too!

Posted by: zonker on March 15, 2005 07:47 PM

I have some stories that would curl your hair on your neck. I have had some good St. Pat's day and spent a few of them in jail. I was raised downtown in the Old Fort, everyone was Irish, except my family. We all learned to fight at the age of 6 and we have been fighting since, those were some very tough times. I don't do St. Pat's anymore, done got too damn old and I would kill some people now, instead of just fighting, Cat.

Posted by: catfish on March 15, 2005 07:59 PM

My wife and I were there last year. That was one hell of a parade, no less than four bagpipe marching bands.
As to River St., best I can recall we had a good time...

Posted by: Jim Gwyn on March 15, 2005 08:11 PM

Your St Patrick's day celebrations sound EXACTLY like Biker Weekend here in NH...minus the green beer LOL.

Posted by: Chablis on March 15, 2005 09:08 PM

Hey, Mr. Storyteller, this post ain't gonna cut it. You're gonna have to spin an actual yarn (or four or five), with details (they don't have to be 100% accurate, as you well know), to satisfy your readers.

Posted by: McGehee on March 15, 2005 09:58 PM

...especially since it looks like money (or lack thereof) is gonna get in the way of my making it to Jekyll next month.

[long, loud stream of profanity that you can run outside the Crackerbox and hear live, if the wind is right]

Actually, it's come down to, either we do Jekyll for a few days, or we do a summer trip to the cowboys' promised land for two weeks. And I've been to Jekyll more often than the other, lately.

Y'all pick a good spot for the next one.

Posted by: McGehee on March 15, 2005 10:01 PM

Was the "1,000 titties" a reference to
500 pairs of titties (because they do seem
to come in pairs, as I've noticed), or did
you mean 1,000 PAIRS of titties?

Either measure is extraordinary. I only ask
to get a sense of whether I am 400 PAIRS
of titties shy of where you are, or 800 total
titties behind.

Posted by: BJK on March 15, 2005 10:40 PM

One year, they dyed the Savannah River Green, it took thousands of gallons of green dye and it last about 10mintues. The tide in the river runs so damn fast, it did not stay green but a very short time. What a waste of good money.

Posted by: catfish on March 15, 2005 10:48 PM

One year, they dyed the Savannah River Green, it took thousands of gallons of green dye and it last about 10mintues. The tide in the river runs so damn fast, it did not stay green but a very short time. What a waste of good money.

Posted by: catfish on March 15, 2005 10:48 PM

Hey, Hey, Gennie. We share an anniversary date!!

Nine years ago hubby & I said our vows on St. Patty's Day....

It is a great day to get I explain to folks, doesn't matter where you go in the country, somewhere, someplace, some pub is having a celebration!

Plus we always know what the menu for our celebration dinner is going to be: Corned beef and cabbage....and it's always fresh!

Plus hubby can't forget...and get himself into needless trouble!!!! ;D

Posted by: Maggie on March 16, 2005 08:48 AM

Been there done that ain't gonna due it again. I woke up in Beaufort and don't have a clue to this day how I got there. She was a redhead though.

Posted by: James Old Guy on March 16, 2005 10:02 AM

Been to Savannah a ton 'o times. Always like the scene on River Street after a few green beers. Got a shirt to wear at

Cool site. Hope it includes more on St. Patrick's Day in Savannah for 2006.

Posted by: Chiatt on December 10, 2005 11:15 PM
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