March 03, 2005

I was almost a Kirby "demonstrator" once. Just my luck I would've wound up with you as my first demo.

As it was, it was on my way to learn all about this wonderful <gag!> opportunity that I got my last speeding ticket. Yeah, that was Kirby's fault too.

Nine years since, ain't been pulled over once. Damn sure wasn't my fault.

Acidman, can you really eat *anything* with chopsticks? Even soup? :-)

Heh..I pitty the salesman. I'm hoping you really didn't say that? I mean, the guy's gotta make a living. Heh..

And yeah..I use chop sticks, but I sure as heck suck at it. I normally get frustrated and pull out the handy fork. I carry one in my garter for just these emergencies.

I'll use em too, when I am faced with them. It's fun. I don't own any and I'm not going lookin' for them.

I'm told the mark of an expert is to be able to eat an undercooked (snotty white) fried egg with 'em. I chose not to try for the qualifiction.

OMG, Once saw a chinese guy (who apparently brought his own chopsticks with him) eat a fried egg in a dinner!

Picture it!

"I told the boss that I had never seen the guy in my life."

Reminds me of very early morning phone call (2 AM) from a nervous teenager. The conversation went something like this:

Teenager: "Hi Dad - Just calling like we discussed to let you know that I'm going to be coming home late. I'll need an additional hour and a half before coming home."

Me: "Thanks, Son - I'm glad you called as we discussed. An hour and a half is fine, but if you want to take an additional hour as well, that's fine with me."

Teenager: "Thanks, Dad - I really appreciate it"

Click......Click...

That should teach the teenager to be a lot more careful when he dials the phone at 2 AM!

I LOVE using chopsticks because I'm good at it and I can eat ANYTHING using a pair of wooden sticks to shovel the food into my mouth.

BWAHAHAAAHHHAAAA! Yeah, anything but sushi, the chopstick's natural partner.

pffft...lightweight chopstick man. :p

(yeah I know what you're gonna say....Bite Me Marc!)

Try eating jell-o with chopsticks. That's the test of a real master.

Oooo.....I had one of those Kirby guys come over. They cleaned my carpet.....then they offered to clean my BED! I told them the bedroom was off limits....then they tried to sell me a $2000 vacuum! Eeek!

After I told them no about a hundred times, the price came down to about $800. I told them I felt sorry for the poor fools who they had conned into paying $2000! I had to throw them out of the house (but they did leave me with 2 free cans of lilac air freshener for allowing them to invade my home!)

I have a Kirby.

(Don't let your relatives sell anything. You'll end up with one.)

RE chopsticks, I use them too when I'm not hungry. Takes longer, and impossible to get a huge bite of rice and a bite of meat at the same time. Cute, but functionally obsolete.

Comeon JB, get the simile right! Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one and they all stink.

Weird, minutes ago I just jammed a chopstick into this weird hole near the water pump in my car. Antifreeze was coming out of it, and nothing else would fit quite right, it's like it was made to have a chopstick in it.