Gut Rumbles

March 03, 2005

just a question

Do you ever eat with chopsticks? If you DON'T, somethng is seriously wrong with you. I LOVE using chopsticks because I'm good at it and I can eat ANYTHING using a pair of wooden sticks to shovel the food into my mouth. I'm having shrimp fried rice, roast pork and shallots, with sauteed vegatables and bean sprouts, all soaked in a very mysterious Chinese sauce, and all very good right now. I am eating with chopsticks.

Plus, somebody showed up at my door and offered to CLEAN MY CARPET FOR FREE if I would listen to his pitch for a Kirby vacuum cleaner. That sounded like a good deal to me, even though I told him right up-front that I wasn't gonna buy a vacuum cleaner, but that didn't matter to him. It was a certified service call, he's doing his job and he gets paid. I told him to go for it. I got a phone call from his boss about 15 minutes after he started, just to make sure that he was at my house and working.

I told the boss that I had never seen the guy in my life.

Heh. Life is fun sometimes.


I was almost a Kirby "demonstrator" once. Just my luck I would've wound up with you as my first demo.

Posted by: McGehee on March 3, 2005 05:46 PM

As it was, it was on my way to learn all about this wonderful <gag!> opportunity that I got my last speeding ticket. Yeah, that was Kirby's fault too.

Nine years since, ain't been pulled over once. Damn sure wasn't my fault.

Posted by: McGehee on March 3, 2005 05:48 PM

Acidman, can you really eat *anything* with chopsticks? Even soup? :-)

Posted by: wooba gooba on March 3, 2005 05:57 PM

Heh..I pitty the salesman. I'm hoping you really didn't say that? I mean, the guy's gotta make a living. Heh..

And yeah..I use chop sticks, but I sure as heck suck at it. I normally get frustrated and pull out the handy fork. I carry one in my garter for just these emergencies.

Posted by: Moogie on March 3, 2005 06:18 PM

I'll use em too, when I am faced with them. It's fun. I don't own any and I'm not going lookin' for them.

I'm told the mark of an expert is to be able to eat an undercooked (snotty white) fried egg with 'em. I chose not to try for the qualifiction.

Posted by: StinKerr on March 3, 2005 06:25 PM

OMG, Once saw a chinese guy (who apparently brought his own chopsticks with him) eat a fried egg in a dinner!

Picture it!

Posted by: Maggie on March 3, 2005 06:29 PM

"I told the boss that I had never seen the guy in my life."

Reminds me of very early morning phone call (2 AM) from a nervous teenager. The conversation went something like this:

Teenager: "Hi Dad - Just calling like we discussed to let you know that I'm going to be coming home late. I'll need an additional hour and a half before coming home."

Me: "Thanks, Son - I'm glad you called as we discussed. An hour and a half is fine, but if you want to take an additional hour as well, that's fine with me."

Teenager: "Thanks, Dad - I really appreciate it"


That should teach the teenager to be a lot more careful when he dials the phone at 2 AM!

Posted by: Vulgorilla on March 3, 2005 06:36 PM

I LOVE using chopsticks because I'm good at it and I can eat ANYTHING using a pair of wooden sticks to shovel the food into my mouth.

BWAHAHAAAHHHAAAA! Yeah, anything but sushi, the chopstick's natural partner.

pffft...lightweight chopstick man. :p

(yeah I know what you're gonna say....Bite Me Marc!)

Posted by: marcl on March 3, 2005 08:02 PM

Try eating jell-o with chopsticks. That's the test of a real master.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on March 3, 2005 08:45 PM

Oooo.....I had one of those Kirby guys come over. They cleaned my carpet.....then they offered to clean my BED! I told them the bedroom was off limits....then they tried to sell me a $2000 vacuum! Eeek!

After I told them no about a hundred times, the price came down to about $800. I told them I felt sorry for the poor fools who they had conned into paying $2000! I had to throw them out of the house (but they did leave me with 2 free cans of lilac air freshener for allowing them to invade my home!)

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on March 3, 2005 10:11 PM

I have a Kirby.

(Don't let your relatives sell anything. You'll end up with one.)

RE chopsticks, I use them too when I'm not hungry. Takes longer, and impossible to get a huge bite of rice and a bite of meat at the same time. Cute, but functionally obsolete.

Posted by: Key on March 3, 2005 11:14 PM

Comeon JB, get the simile right! Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one and they all stink.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on March 4, 2005 09:14 AM

Weird, minutes ago I just jammed a chopstick into this weird hole near the water pump in my car. Antifreeze was coming out of it, and nothing else would fit quite right, it's like it was made to have a chopstick in it.

Posted by: Dave Munger on March 4, 2005 05:42 PM
Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.