Gut Rumbles
 

March 02, 2005

why not?

This is one of those blog-things making the rounds now, and I'm going to post it because I don't feel really inspired to write any of my usually brilliant shit this morning. I stole it from here and he stole it from somebody else. You know how it goes in blogdom. Everybody steals.

Anyway, the ones in Bold Type are the things I have NOT done before:

Iíve Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex.
Iíve Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex (eh, no comment)
Iíve Never Crashed A Friendís Car.
Iíve Never Been To Japan.
Iíve Never Been In A Taxi.
Iíve Never Been In Love.
Iíve Never Had Sex In a Public Place.
Iíve Never Been Dumped.
Iíve Never Done Cocaine
Iíve Never Shoplifted.
Iíve Never Been Fired
Iíve Never Been In A Fist Fight.
Iíve Never Had Group Intercourse.
Iíve Never Snuck Out Of My Parentís House.
Iíve Never Been Tied Up.
Iíve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone.
I've Never Been Arrested.
Iíve Never Made Out With A Stranger.
Iíve Never Stolen Something From My Job.
Iíve Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square. (Nor do I want to!)
Iíve Never Gone On A Blind Date.
Iíve Never Lied To A Friend.
Iíve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher or Professor.
Iíve Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans. (THAT, I want to do!)
Iíve Never Been To Europe. -
Iíve Never Skipped School.
Iíve Never Slept With A Co-Worker.
Iíve Never Cut Myself On Purpose.
Iíve Never Had Sex At The Office.
Iíve Never Been Married.
Iíve Never Been Divorced.
Iíve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week.
Iíve Never Posed Nude. (BWHAHAHAHAAA!!!)
Iíve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them.
Iíve Never Killed Anyone.. (Not YET anyway.)
Iíve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner.
Iíve Never Thrown Up In A Bar.
I've Never Taken a Hallucinogenic Drug. (BWHAHAHAHAAA!!!)
Iíve Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire. (I've done it by accident many times, but never on purpose.)
Iíve Never Eaten Sushi. (Fuck sushi. I like my fish cooked.)
Iíve Never Been Snowboarding. (Don't get many opportunities where I live.)
Iíve Never Had Sex At A Friendís House While They Were Throwing A Party.
Iíve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room.
Iíve Never Flashed Anyone. (Mooning counts, right?)
Iíve Never Met Anyone From Online. (Met a bunch of them. Really scary people.)

There. Now you know more about me than you ever wanted to know.

Comments

ok, this ain't right. this list has been over the fuckin Internet as of late, but how come the LIST I got had "sex with animals" on it and none of the others don't? That's just wrong.

Posted by: Greg on March 2, 2005 10:21 AM

I've had sex with animals. Pure, lust-crazed wenches, complete animals once the panties came off. I barely survived.

Oh... that wasn't the kind of "animal" you meant?

Posted by: Acidman on March 2, 2005 10:43 AM

I never did Times Square
Never did Mardi Gras
Never killed anyone
Snow boarding came after I was busy providing for a wife and two kids, so no to that
but setting oneself on fire, you can do that with the "Statue Of Liberty " Shot. You dunk your index fingr in some 151, light it up , hold it up ala' Lady Liberty, do the shot ,and stick the finger in your mouth to put it out.
Oh, and to Greg,
I had a Pitbull who liked to stick his nose where it didn't belong whilst I was making love.

Posted by: Ron on March 2, 2005 10:44 AM

I haven't done a lot of those, but I can claim a combo: puking in a bar after eating sushi and having sex with a couple of different women on the same weekend, at mardi gras. Ya gotta love new orleans.

Posted by: joe on March 2, 2005 11:45 AM

New Years in Times Square is actually quite fun, much more so in years past before security got tighter than your average White House visit, but still. You wouldn't think standing in the cold for six plus hours to be much fun, but, the booze helps.

Much like Mardi Gras, it's one of those things you just have to do to understand.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on March 2, 2005 11:53 AM

Iíve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them.

WTF other reason is there for getting someone drunk?

Posted by: McGehee on March 2, 2005 01:21 PM

Sushi comes in many different flavors...if you know what I mean.

Posted by: Yabu on March 2, 2005 01:40 PM
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