Gut Rumbles

February 17, 2005

comforting news

Chris Rock believes that he can host the entire Oscar ceremony without fucking cussing a goddam, muthafucking time. I am delighted to hear that news.

Chris Rock is not funny. Chris Rock is not talented. Chris Rock is an asshole. But Chris Rock is BLACK, and it's a very great tribute to "diversity" (ALL HAIL DIVERSITY!!!") to make him the host of this leftist dog and pony show. Maybe they'll hire Mike Tyson next.

If Chris can make it through the Oscars without using foul language, I'll be impressed. If he can actually HOST the ceremonies, I'll be even more impressed. But it doesn't really matter to me, because I ain't gonna watch that crap anyway.

I kinda say.... well, fuck it.


Mike Tyson could punch the ones that talk past their time allotment.

Posted by: Robert on February 17, 2005 06:30 PM

Boy, you're gonna get piled on for this one.

You're right, though. I can't stand Rock or his tired shtick either. Good thing I can't stand watching the preening, self-congratulatory circle-jerk of the Oscars.

Come to think of it, I guess he's the perfect choice for host.

Posted by: Alan S. on February 17, 2005 07:28 PM

I think he used to be funny. The last stand up I saw him do was a far cry from 5 years ago.

Posted by: rightisright on February 17, 2005 08:30 PM

I thought his "How Not to Get Your A-- Kicked by the Police" was a riot.

Tough-looking, corn-rowed brutha with his hands at ten-and-two asking politely, "is there a problem, Officer?"

Posted by: Juliette on February 17, 2005 08:39 PM

I like that routine, Baldi, but if you take away all the foul language from his "act," what's really left?

Posted by: Acidman on February 17, 2005 10:02 PM

I was very surprised when I heard he was going to host the Oscars. Oh man, this sounds like the Oscars are about to "jump the shark" and go downhill now. Why oh why is everything hell bent on trying to be suck ass MTV??? Pure crapola!!!

Posted by: Lori on February 17, 2005 10:10 PM

Oh and he'll probably cuss.... it will probably be on a 6 second delay so we won't hear/see it.

Posted by: Lori on February 17, 2005 10:11 PM

He does rather well on the late night talk shows - and doesn't get bleeped too often. And he IS funny to me -- even without the dirty language. Don't know if he can carry the Oscars, but we'll see.

Posted by: Indigo on February 17, 2005 11:09 PM

Hiring a talent like Rock means they get both host and janitor in one. Very wise.

Posted by: Nitro lover on February 17, 2005 11:31 PM

"Why oh why is everything hell bent on trying to be suck ass MTV???"- Lori

Because that seems to be what everyone wants in this day and age. Seriously, I look at the social dregs about to graduate from high school that comprise half of my generation, and it's no suprise that everything in the entertainment industry is starting to suck.

Alright, now that I'm done bashing these losers, I have to go hang out with them.


Posted by: JG22 on February 18, 2005 12:06 AM

Chris Rock is funny. But maybe they should hire someone from the Blue Comedy Tour so that you can't pull some race card. If Chris Rock is not funny that is fine, but the drivel about him getting to host because of diversity and his race is ridic. You are pulling the same race card that you accuse blacks and leftists of doing but you are just doing it in reverse. If you want us to all be americans with no hyphens all that stuff, then just saying he was not funny would have been enough. Pulling the race card is tired.

Posted by: esemcee on February 18, 2005 11:10 AM

Chris Rock can't speak clear enough for anyone to understand, When cusses at least we can recognise the words

Posted by: Greg on February 18, 2005 11:25 AM

The network will cut anything he does that's out of line. There's typically a lot of crap that doesn't get broadcast during the commercial breaks.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on February 18, 2005 11:29 AM

I would rather of seen Ron White serve up some of his tater salad as host but what do I know?

Posted by: arathorn on February 18, 2005 11:39 AM

I like that routine, Baldi, but if you take away all the foul language from his "act," what's really left?Him calling white people "crackas."

Posted by: D.J. M.B. on February 18, 2005 02:22 PM

The last time I can remember him being funny was when he was defending (""?) Clarence Thomas. "They say he told people he saw a woman with big breasts having sex with an animal. If I saw a woman with big breasts having sex with an animal, I'd have to tell someone." Black comedians have got to be in some kind of union or something, because they all stopped being funny all at once. Chris Rock, in particular, seems to be all about showing his teeth. "Hey, look at my damn teeth, that's funny".

Posted by: Dave Munger on February 18, 2005 08:19 PM
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