Gut Rumbles

February 02, 2005

not me!!!

I never experienced corporal punishment in school. No. Not me. Ever.

I do seem to recall the "bench of shame in the outer office," and maybe I recall a choice that sometimes was made FOR me by the football coach. And that paddle thing is slightly remenicient of a bad sting on my ass. But THAT never happened to me.

"Itís funny how a young lad will form a bond with his torturer." No, it's not. Play football for a rough coach. You'll bond or he'll kill you.

I donít know how far back Mr. McKey swung that paddle, but when he connected with your ass, Wow! The sting was sharp, piercing through to your knees. He let that paddle linger on your burning ass cheek for just a moment. Then the process was repeated, and repeated.

I NEVER had that happen to me. Not EVER. But if Dax doesn't mention that piece of adhesive tape on the floor, where you were supposed to put your toes right before you bent over and grabbed the corners of the desk, I'm gonna call him a got-dam liar. Torquemada himself administered corporal punishment at MY school. Don't tell me you didn't have either adhesive tape or a red stripe painted on the floor. You had to assume the position the get a righteous ass-whuppin' at MY school.

If you didn't have THAT, you were never properly ass-whupped.


Hire a lawyer, now. There is ample evidince or we can create some that your beatings at school turned you into the social reject that you are today. I am thinking the nightmares and bedwetting is good for a few million alone.

Posted by: James Old Guy on February 2, 2005 02:16 PM

I... I... I think I have short-term memory loss and I need a neck-brace, too. Know a good lawyer?

Posted by: Acidman on February 2, 2005 02:18 PM

There are enough readers here who are more than willing to make the claim that you are a "redneck" a "racist" a "hillbilly" and an inbred deviate. And "stupid," "ignorant," "dumb," and "brain-dead" .

That should be worth a few million more.

But we'll never call you shallow, common or loathsome.

Posted by: jimboy on February 2, 2005 03:10 PM

Our shop teacher cut a bunch of one or two inch holes in what appears to my dim memory to be either a cricket bat or a canoe paddle. That sucker would whistle at your ass and hit you so hard you'd fear shitting right their on the principal's floor. In retrospect, I wish I had.

Posted by: Bane on February 2, 2005 04:37 PM

Nothing hurts like something you can hear coming. Yow.

Posted by: McGehee on February 2, 2005 10:03 PM
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