January 12, 2005
Despite what you see in movies, I have some news for you:
*Not all Asians are martial arts experts. Many of them run 7-11 stores where I live.
*Not all Native Americans are deeply spiritual and fully in tune with Mother Earth. Some get drunk as often as possible and pass out in a ditch.
*Not all black people are "street-wise" (whatever the hell THAT means). Some of them are just like... well, WHITE PEOPLE, except they have darker skin.
*A guy with a 9mm handgun is NOT going to win a shootout against six guys with machine guns, no matter how many acrobatic backflips and dives he does. He's gonna look like Swiss cheese in real life.
*All hookers DO NOT look like Julia Roberts, Melanie Griffith or Rebecca DeMornay. Some of them are real scuzz-buckets.
*"Cute" kids do NOT have smart mouths and constantly sass adults with impudent insults. In real life, those kids lose their teeth early.
*People in the military are NOT evil, villianous, bloodthirsty, heartless killers, determined to destroy America as we know it. Some of them are your neighbors.
*If Pauly Shore is a comedian, I'm a gynecologist. That guy is about as hilarious as an impacted wisdom tooth. The only person I can think of with less talent is Larry King.
That's what I get when I watch television.
All content © Rob Smith