Gut Rumbles

December 22, 2004


I become really depressed this time of year. I don't have a Christmas tree, I have no decorations on my house and I've done almost no shopping. I don't even like going to a store now, because they pipe carols over the intercom and I want to upchuck.

Christmas is for kids. And families. I have neither now.

I remember what Christmas ONCE meant to me, as I hung a goddam 20' tree in the big family room at the mini-farm mansion--because I tingled with the magic in the air, and couldn't wait for everyone to see the presents I bought them after the gifts were placed under that big, shining tree. Yeah, I wished "Joy to the World!!"

I really want to feel that way now. But I can't, I don't and I doubt that I ever will again. Those days are gone.

My idea of a great Christmas now? I'd like to go to sleep on Christmas eve and wake up just in time to see the bowl games on New Years Day. That plan would work well for me.

Christmas? BAH! HUMBUG!!!


Tell you what, A-man: You can borrow my rugrats for an afternoon. That oughta kill any nostalgia you might harbor for children...

I love my kids dearly, but I don't think rabid termites with power tools could do more destruction to a house...

Posted by: Jay G. on December 22, 2004 01:58 PM

My dad set our house on fire one christmas morning,then told the fire marshall I did it. I had to spend the next 9 months in a counseling office...I love christmas

Posted by: frank on December 22, 2004 04:10 PM

"Christmas is love" - Johnny Taylor.

"Every day is a holliday." - Stylistics?

"It's fun to be fooled, but it's more fun to know the truth." - Hondo Hicks

"Lay back and enjoy it"? - The Patriarchy

"Santa comes only once a year." - The Matriarchy

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on December 22, 2004 05:25 PM

Why don't you come to Atlanta? I got a big house, big family, we could feed you easy as feeding a kitten (no offense!) ;).

Serious invitation. Come. Pete seconds it.

Posted by: kelley on December 22, 2004 06:46 PM

By the way, you're probably missing a lot of comments. You've blacklisted "h t t p :" , so everyone who's trying to leave a blog-address in the URL: field is being denied the ability to comment. Send me a mail if you need help fixing it.

I mean it, too. Come!

Posted by: kelley on December 22, 2004 06:48 PM

Thanks Kel, was wondering what the deal was!

And Rob, I'd really rather you not sleep through Christmas. I, for one, will be calling.

(Unless you're at Kelley's; in which case...CHRISTMAS MEET AT KELLEY'S!!)

Posted by: Key on December 22, 2004 07:06 PM

You caught that shit from me, quit whinning and go visit Kelly and pinch Key. You old fart.

Posted by: James Old Guy on December 22, 2004 07:24 PM

Shit, if you sleep from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day you'll miss some good college football games.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on December 22, 2004 11:57 PM
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