Gut Rumbles

December 09, 2004

how about some cheese with that whine?

Thanks, I think, to reader Tony Ellis for this link. Sweet Bejus on a bicycle. I've never read a more pathetic brain-fart in my life. NO WONDER she doesn't like grades in school. She's dumb as a red brick.

We are currently paying a large amount of money to attend this University and receive an education. If I have paid to be taught something, shouldn't there be a repercussion for the teacher rather than, or at least as well as, the student when knowledge has not been taught?

Although teachers cannot be responsible for the self-failings of their students, it still seems unfair that they are allowed to judge how much a particular student is learning. I pay the teacher to teach me, and then I get slapped with the label of failure if the teacher deems that I haven't learned the correct information?

Yeah, darlin.' That's how the system works. A university DOES NOT strap you down on a surgical table and stick an IV in your arm to pump you full of "knowledge." The professors throw the knowledge out there and YOU are expected to learn it. If you don't, you fail. See? The whole secret to this process is that IT TAKES A LOT OF EFFORT FROM YOU to get an education. That knowledge isn't gonna be spoon-fed to you from a baby food jar.

Then there is the constant fountain of stress, emerging from that oh-so-reviled spigot of essays, quizzes and final projects. There seems to be an assumption that stress is the best way to facilitate learning. People willing to admit this underlying assumption would rightly be told to go sit in a corner and think about what they just said. Stress usually leads to two things: Procrastination, because stress makes every assignment more daunting than it actually is, and poor work as a result of this procrastination.

STRESS??? In COLLEGE??? BWHAHAHAHAAA!!! Wait until you land your unprepared ass in the REAL world, you delicate little chickie. You don't get an "F" GRADE when you can't handle the work a boss gives you when you're being paid to do a job. You get FIRED when you don't produce. You don't know what fucking stress is. If you can't handle exams, what the hell do you think you're gonna do when REAL stress comes your way?

Eliminating the system of grading would surely do away with both of these problems. Suddenly, the purpose of schoolwork will be to garner knowledge, rather than to gain an artificial mark of how much learning one had achieved. Instead of concern about the symbol of achievement, achievement itself will be most prized. Stress in students will be significantly lessened once work is being done for reasons of personal satisfaction. Although some may argue that grades in college are essential to determining that the hardest workers are accepted to graduate school, perhaps a decrease of focus on grades will actually lead to more fair admission policies. Time not spent calculating grades could be used by teachers to write recommendations for the students who have truly shown the ability to work hard and be motivated to educate themselves.

Why am I hearing John Lennon playing "Imagine" in my head right now? Grades are an "artificial mark" of how much you learned in class? I suppose a "salary" is an artificial mark of how well you do in the workplace, too. I'm with YOU, girl. Competition and performance standards are just so... icky. We should get rid of them, hold hands around a campfire and sing "Kum-Ba-Ya." The world will be a better place.

This columnist understands that a world without grades is a fantasy utopia, populated by over-enthused learners who work hard not out of fear but out of excitement for their own continued education.

Huh? Run that one by me again. If you have a point in that frothy statement, it's a slippery one that I can't grasp. If a world without grades is a "fantasy utopia" (which it isn't--- it's called "Communism," and it's been an abject failure every place it has EVER been tried--- did you take any history classes and pay any attention?), then why did you write this pathetic whine in the first place? Little one, you don't know what FEAR is yet. And you damn sure ain't gonna be ready to handle it when you see the real thing.

If that is an example of the best and the brightest of our next generation, this country is in deep shit.


Time would be better spent complaining about the absolute dreck that passes as curricula in many universities these days. Or why tuition continues to go up into the stratosphere while the value of a college degree lessens.

Posted by: Lee on December 9, 2004 02:42 PM

Wow! If she's this whupped by some little university, she better marry some rich guy to take care of her cause she's going to be useless in the real world!!!

Posted by: WarWagon on December 9, 2004 02:59 PM

i just graduated from college two years ago. do i count as "the next generation"?

if so, let me state for the record that i'd slap this girl silly--um, silly-ER--if i ever got my hands on her.

college IS a fucked-up place. mostly because of people like her.

Posted by: beth on December 9, 2004 03:23 PM

Well, I suppose we could start by eliminating the grading system for meat, I mean why should one carcass be graded A1, and anouther maggot-ridden one be graded as unfit for dog food? My dog eats what I eat.
I wish everyone, either grew up on a farm, or did a short term of military service, the farm thing teaches that the cows don't wait, you can't milk 'em when you want to, and the Mil., in my case, U.S.M.C., learned you the team work thing, I enlisted when I was 17, but my Mom would'nt sign ,so I didn't see PI til 26 Dec 78. After my time ,I came back to the "real" world , Got a job at a Tile Co.,soon became Foreman and was in charge of between 10 & 20 guys, my Boss was great, He'd tell me "This is the deadline for this or that, do what you want just get there."
Do you have any idea how many times I had to explain to various "college" students that If we work through lunch , we'll be out of here at 1:30,and get paid for the day, or we can break down and we will all be here til 4:00 ?
Imagine a fisherman, who never caught a fish, but he bought all the latest, watched all the shows, and thus thought he should get an "A" in Fishing.

Posted by: Ron on December 9, 2004 03:31 PM

This is why the Baby Boomer Generation will never be allowed to retire (they keep pushing the age farther and farther out) The kids coming up behind us are just too fucking stupid to take over for us.

Or to quote a famous philosopher, "Hope I die before I get old."

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on December 9, 2004 03:52 PM

Having just busted my ass for the past week reviewing, condensing and studying in preparation for a college math final, at the age of 34 no less, I'd like to smack that little girl with a clue bat. The A- that I earned in that class might have cost me $839, but that's nothing compared to the knowledge I gained and pride in a job well done.

Not to mention the fact that my professor certainly earned her share of the money I paid for the class. Anyone who can teach this former math flunky how to make algebra roll over and beg for mercy deserves copious amounts of money.

Posted by: Chablis on December 9, 2004 04:01 PM

What you have there is a future Starbucks clerk, not the best and brightest. Those would be the ones graduating with honors and looking forward to their new Ferraris.

The "we shouldn't compete" hallmark has always been one of those who suck at a given competition.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on December 9, 2004 05:30 PM

Damn Acidman, thanks. I needed that laugh. (it's been a bad day) I needed a tissue to dry my eyes I laughed so hard.
That girl is a natural blonde. You can tell.
Next she'll be getting tested for ADHD as an excuse for the grades. She probably won't try studying for that one either, and still bitch about the results.

Posted by: Wichi Dude on December 9, 2004 06:14 PM

I'm reading your blog while waiting for a parent to call about her daughter who "cannot fail [my] class or she will not graduate." She wants me give her daughter an "extra credit" assignment even though the child isn't passing the regular class work. I've been teaching 27 years, and I'm still amazed that so many parents and school administrators believe that a student should have a diploma for time spent whether the student can show he or she has learned anything or not. The college student you write about is not a rarity these days.

Posted by: Fortune's Fool on December 9, 2004 06:58 PM

Univ of Cal, Santa Cruz allows for "evaluations" instead of grades. Maybe this person should transfer.

Posted by: Horst Graben on December 9, 2004 07:01 PM

Your comparison of her intellect to that of a "red brick" is an affront to decent Red Bricks everywhere.

Perhaps you could change the comparison to truly intellect free object, such as a Chris Matthews, or a UN supporter.
Best Regards,

Posted by: Bishop on December 9, 2004 07:04 PM

Self-structured school is the only way. You pay me here/now, and away you go "straight onto hapi-neh-eh-ess"[Dramatics]. There will be no more stress, no grades, "no sorrow I'll feel" [Johnny Cash, June Carter]--total freedom "in the valley" , for me, Communism, will be real --- Oh yeah. [Peace in The Valley]

All together now in high falsetto: "Imagine all the people, living with John Hink-lee-hee-hee You-hoo might think I'm a dreamer, but now I'm just a dream. At least if I'd been with the Acidman, I'd still be drinking Beam."

As I can verify via cyberspace connection.

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on December 9, 2004 07:22 PM

Jezuz Christ, people, she is just a kid. Can any of you say that you never had a rebellious thought in your head when you were that age?

"If a world without grades is a "fantasy utopia" (which it isn't--- it's called "Communism," and it's been an abject failure every place it has EVER been tried--- did you take any history classes and pay any attention?)"

This comment by the Acid is a very interesting display of ignorance.

A "utopia" is an ideally perfect place. PERIOD.

Yes, Karl Marx had a vision of utopia in the Communist Manifesto. Aldous Huxley had a vision of utopia in Brave New World. Christians have a vision of utopia by going to Heaven. Utopia DOES NOT mean communism. Are we clear on this?

Perhaps if Acid had paid attention in history and literature class, he wouldn't have had the classic rightwing knee-jerk when he heard the word "utopia."

Posted by: Mikelx on December 9, 2004 09:33 PM

I'm with Bishop. You should have heard the guffaw that arose from the walls around me when I read that "brick" comparison aloud.

Oh, and only those on 'The Apprentice' are fired, the rest of us are apparently 'de-hired'.

Really. Dehired!

Can you believe that?!

Posted by: jmflynny on December 9, 2004 10:39 PM

Mikelx, we is just trying to give the little bitch some of that free, meaningful education she be lusting for. It's the tough love she craves.
"It do her so good." [Little Miss Cornshucks]

As for you, all Utopias are the same, you say - Perfect. Therefore "Communism" applies equally, if Communism is a Utopia, which Acidman says "it isn't". Can you read! You hammerhead! Oh, I can't go on like this anymore.

I gets weary, I'm sick of trying.....

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on December 10, 2004 03:02 AM

No worries, Rob. There are those of us in the next generation that know the real deal and will move this country forward despite the deadweight like this that we'll be carrying.

Posted by: Kevin on December 10, 2004 08:19 AM

Mikelx, we is just trying to give the little bitch some of that free, meaningful education she be lusting for. It's the tough love she craves.

Nice grammar skills, Ga.

I'm sure the "little bitch" has read every word and is now seeking counseling.

It's good to see that you rightwingers have found yet another American to hate and deride. I guess you folks need someone to feel superior too.

As for you, all Utopias are the same, you say - Perfect. Therefore "Communism" applies equally, if Communism is a Utopia, which Acidman says "it isn't". Can you read! You hammerhead! Oh, I can't go on like this anymore.

Oh come on, Ga, you really should continue. It sure is entertaining to see you incorrectly defend Acid's ignorant comment.

Posted by: Mikelx on December 10, 2004 10:44 AM

When I was teaching in Graduate school, we had two rules: 1. No sex with the students. and 2. If you break rule number one, the student gets an A. I gave out only A's to those who did the work and made the effort. Unless, of course, they were really really good in bed. I doubt our little friend could perform in any regard...

Posted by: Florida Bill on December 10, 2004 10:54 AM

You know, I can't say that I'm surprised by the content of the article in question. Having graded a fair share of papers myself when I was in grad school, if I was in this woman's place, I'd be nervous about my work being evaluated by objective standards of compentency as well.
She thinks COLLEGE is stressful? Welcome to the real world, toots. Compared to what is out there beyond the hallowed halls of academia, college is a walk in the park. If she is having so much trouble finding time to finish all her requirements, she should either take fewer classes or develop better time management skills. Eliminating grades as an objective arbiter of the required standards of a course is the final, desperate cry of one who obviously cannot go through life as a responsible adult. If she can't even manage her time effectively now, when the stakes are relatively low, what is she going to do when she is trying to meet deadlines for her local newspaper? Call for the elimination of deadlines altogether to mask her innate mediocrity and inablity to function with any degree of accountability?

Allah perserve us if people like this ever actively breed.

Posted by: Chris on December 10, 2004 12:24 PM

Social promotion goes to College.

This poor young 'un must be a journalism major. It's her teacher's duty to steer her away from this profession. She couldn't write her way out of a wet paper sack.

Posted by: DaneBramage on December 10, 2004 01:29 PM

Mikelx: " I guess you folks need someone to feel superior too."

I done jus be saved!

I used to smoke, I used to drink
I used to smoke and drink, smoke and drink,and dance the hootchie koo
But now I'm standing on that corner, prayin for me and you
Because I'm saved, saved......[Laverne Baker]

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on December 10, 2004 02:49 PM

I done jus be saved!

Good for you, Ga! Reality is no longer an issue for you.

Posted by: Mikelx on December 10, 2004 04:32 PM

Sounds like Krystahl has been sucking off her liberal arts teacher. Yeah, the garnering of knowledge...of what position the Phi Beta Gamma frat likes you in. I get paid depending on how much I type.... not hourly, not anything like that. I don't produce, I don't get a paycheck. Needless to say, I'm moving into a $200,000 house and looking to buy a new car. At 23. But I never did value things like Chinese Mongolian Era HIstory taught at the university. Bet I'd get an A though.

Posted by: cythen on December 10, 2004 10:16 PM

I had a prof who bitched (this was in 1969 or thenabouts) because he was no longer allowed to give exactly one exam, at the end of the quarter, for the whole enchilada. Yup, he was a math prof, and had been used to giving an exam with one problem, which took up the whole exam period. You would get either of two grades; A or F. The rot had already set in when I got there, according to his lights. He was really pissed at having to give midterm exams, and have more than one question on the final.

This critter is obviously from another planet entirely.

Posted by: Justthisguy on December 11, 2004 08:23 AM
Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.