Gut Rumbles

September 27, 2004

okay...I lied

The phone rang. I started not to answer it because I was writing at the time, but I needed a break, so I went into the bedroom, picked up the receiver and said, "Hello?" I got a mechanized voice on the other end looking for somebody named "Wanda" for some kind of credit fraud.

People, I am not a shitty person by nature. But I became all evil and misguided by this phone call. That mechanized voice told me that if I was Wanda, I should press "one." I pressed one. I got ANOTHER mechanized voice that sent me to another menu. Customer Service is "five?" Okay, I'll press five. I was on a roll by then, so I hung on until I got a real, live person to talk to.

I identified myself as Wanda, (yeah. I sound like a "Wanda" over the phone, but those people don't listen.) I informed them to go fuck themselves, and I told them NEVER to call me again. I wasn't about to pay whatever bill they were talking about and I didn't give a rat's ass what they intended to do about it. SUE ME, you buncha cocksuckers!

Then, I hung up the phone and laughed. It was a hoot, but I shouldn't have done that. I SHOULD have.... what? Told the mechanized voice that he had the wrong number? Waited until the menu said "press 10 for a bullshit phone call?" Well, I didn't do that. I barked at 'em.

I just hope I didn't get Wanda in trouble.


Okay Acidman. Whose Wanda and where are you hiding her?

Nasty, nasty.


Posted by: vadergrrrl on September 27, 2004 07:31 PM

Screw Wanda!
What's she doing giving out your number anyway.
You are too damm nice.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on September 27, 2004 07:31 PM

I always pretend I am a retard (not a far stretch) when I get calls like that.

Posted by: rightisright on September 27, 2004 09:31 PM

I had some bill collectors call once asking for Debbie I told them I was her and that I flat out wasn't gonna pay the bill because I didn't want to... you could hear them take a step back on the phone... yeah a 6'2" 200 pound Texan with a souther accent should really pass for a Debbie on the phone... your not the only one who's done that...

Posted by: oakleytexas on September 27, 2004 10:35 PM

When a friend of mine gets a telemarketer call he simply says "wait just a minute", then puts the phone down and walks away. He doesn't like to talk on the phone anyway.

Posted by: sTEVE on September 28, 2004 08:20 AM

If it's someone claiming to be from A.M.O.R., then it's some kind of damn scam after your ID info.

Posted by: MommaBear on September 28, 2004 12:59 PM
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