Gut Rumbles
 

August 19, 2004

southern tradition

If you've never eaten Kryspy Creme doughnuts, you are a complete failure as a human being. I once spilled a cup of their coffee on MY lap and almost scalded my pecker off... and the idea of suing them never occurred to me. I bought the coffee, I wanted it hot and I SPILLED IT!!! What was I going to sue Kryspy Creme for? Giving me exactly what I wanted? Bullshit!

But I DO think I have a legitimate tort case against them. I was about 20 years old and I went to the beach and drank beer all day while I surfed. That combination of beer and salt air will make you hungry as hell when you're young enough to eat a house anyway. I was with a friend and we stopped at the traffic light on the corner of Victory Drive and Skidaway Road.

We could smell the doughnuts from where we sat. A strange mind-meld occurred in the car. Without a word being spoken, we both knew that we wanted DOUGHNUTS!!! A LOT OF THEM!!! RIGHT NOW!!!

We bought two dozen right off the conveyor belt, fresh from the hot grease. Those doughnuts DISSOLVE when you put one in your mouth. You don't even realize that you ATE a doughnut except for that sugary aftertaste in your mouth.
They smell good, they taste good and you can eat a dozen easily when you're half-drunk.

You can also puke your guts out later, but that's a story I don't care to tell tonight. I still think I have a legitimate lawsuit. Kryspy Creme is responsible for making me sick that day.

THEY MADE ME EAT THOSE DOUGHNUTS!!!!

Comments

You're right about how they disolve in your mouth. Sadly, all of them up here in Indy have closed. I can get them at the Shell Station, but it's not the same as getting them off the belt, glaze still slippery, everything still as warm and soft as a baby's ear.

*sigh* I miss them.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on August 19, 2004 11:09 PM

HOT NOW HOT NOW HOT NOW. It's a siren's song, I tell ya.

Posted by: Velociman on August 19, 2004 11:18 PM

I had always read about the Krispy Kreme cult whle living in Alaska, but we didn't have them up there. I moved back to Ohio a few months ago, and stopped by a shop. They were OK, but what's the big deal? Nothing special, seemed like. I always like Dunkin Donuts, but they closed in Anchorage years ago.
Maybe the key is fresh out of the cooking process?

Posted by: John Cunningham on August 19, 2004 11:55 PM

Have you called John Edwards yet?

He wants to help you.

Posted by: rightisright on August 19, 2004 11:57 PM

Krispy Kreme is certainly good but they've got nothin' on Shipley's, man.

Posted by: girl on August 20, 2004 12:30 AM

Them hots is good eating. I've had as many drunk as sober.

Posted by: Stoney on August 20, 2004 06:35 AM

My route home from many a concert at the Civic Center would take me by the Krystal at Bee and Victory, then desert at the Krispy Kreme on Skidaway. Midnight munchies slain again.

Posted by: mike on August 20, 2004 09:07 AM

They are wonderful.

Posted by: Catfish on August 20, 2004 10:06 AM

Never tried them until they opened a store in Mishawaka about 3 miles from where I attend college. Damn but those are good! Hey Mamamontez come on up and get some!
Rey

Posted by: Rey on August 20, 2004 01:01 PM
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