Gut Rumbles

August 17, 2004

why not?

A woman I lust after asked these questions.

Here's what my inquiring mind would like to know:

1. What's the most expensive thing you've ever stolen?

I once stole a $20 alligator belt from a men's clothing store when I was 16 years old. I've been ashamed of doing that for the rest of my life. I don't steal.

2. Have you ever run from the police?

NOT MEEEE!!!! I never got caught and I DIDN'T RUN. I slipped away a few times, but that's not the question you asked.

3. Have you ever gone to church hung over?

Got-dam! What HAVEN'T I done in life with a hangover?

4. What is the most embarrassing thing you can admit to having done?

I've got a gadzillion of those stories. I've shit my pants, I've wet the bed, I've ripped the seat out of my pants while I was on stage one night and I've been thrown out of a low-class bar for being too low-class. NOTHING embarasses me anymore.

5. And the one you can't admit to?

It's not that I CAN'T admit it. It's just that I WON'T, except to very special people who will keep their mouths shut about it. I don't regret what I did, but the truth would hurt some feelings that don't need that kind of punishment. Key, you probably know what I mean because you and I talked about this very subject. I see no reason to be unkind to people who bear me no grudges and have never given me any grudge against them. I try my best not to hurt other people. But I've done some things in my life that I would rather not advertise.

Just leave that stuff alone. Given the same situation, I'd do the same thing again. But I don't go courting that same situation. I run a pretty wide-open blog. I talk a lot about myself, my life and my feelings.

But some secrets I have will go to the grave with me.


1. The only thing I can remember stealing was a 25 cent toy from a 7-11 when I was about 10. I told my mom about it......she didn't get mad or anything, but whatever she said made me feel soooooo guilty. That haunted me for a long time. I don't think I've stolen anything ever since.

2. I've never run from the police, but I have spent a couple of days in jail. Maybe I shoulda run! (Actually, I don't think it's a good idea to run, and my experience in jail was actually an interesting experience.)

3. I've never gone to church hungover because I stopped going to church before I started drinking (which is not to say that I'm not still religious, I just have my own beliefs.) Otherwise, I do pretty much everything else while I'm hungover.

4. The most embarrassing thing I've done (that I can think of right now anyway) happened on one very hot summer night . My boyfriend (at the time) and I were drinking at the house of one of our good friends. (Little did my boyfriend know, I was having an affair with our "good" friend.)
Anyway, after several drinks, I took off my dress because it was sooo hot. Both of these men had already seen me nekkid, so it just seemed a natural thing to do. Oy.....then it hit me, that I had just taken my clothes off in front of what my boyfriend would consider "our good friend"! Oops!!!
I had a lot of explaing to do.
I was only 17 at the time.....and it was a "learning?" experience......but it still embarrasses me to think about it!

6. There are lots of things I can't admit to my parents, but generally I try to live so that there's nothing I can't admit to.

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on August 17, 2004 07:56 PM

Ya plugged a buddy's wife, didn't ya. ;{D

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on August 17, 2004 08:51 PM

I've NEVER plugged a buddy's wife. I didn't know the guy when I... well, never mind. I don't want to talk about it.

Posted by: Acidman on August 17, 2004 09:35 PM

1. Hmm. What is the statute of limitations on grand theft auto? I'd say, in 1988 dollars, probably about $20,000.

2. See above. And running from the police isn't a big deal. It's getting caught that blows.

3. No. Although when I was 15 or 16 (about the last time I darkened the door of a house of worship, by the way) I went stoned. Yeah, so I was a pretty bad young 'un I guess.

4. She was big. REAL big. With two front teeth missing (regrettably not side by side). I thought I got away with it until my roommate busted into my room in the morning with a camera. When I asked him how he knew there was a girl in there he responded, "It sounded like you were killing someone in there last night. I had to see what was going on." Yep, he showed the pictures to ALL of our friends. 15 years later, they still harass me about it.

5. Hell yes. Remember, 3 people can keep a secret if 2 of them are dead.

Posted by: rightisright on August 17, 2004 10:03 PM

Everybody's screwing up #5. It's not supposed to be some dark secret; It's supposed to be something even MORE embarrassing than #4!

Thanks for playing, and for the link love. ; )

Posted by: Key on August 18, 2004 08:52 AM

Hey, check this out.

Posted by: Dick Hurtz on November 10, 2004 04:57 PM
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