June 30, 2004
I was rummaging around in the compost of the 'pooter room when I found something that made sit cross-legged on the floor and study for a while. It's a notebook that I kept at work in January of 2001. I have a lot of notes about projects, deadlines and personnel issues, but there's one page in that notebook that froze my hand.
I made a list of names... all the people that I had worked with who were dead now. I had 54 names on the list and just looking at it today, I could add five more. I remember making that list, but I'm not certain why I did it. I believe that I was sitting at my desk one day, mired in some miserable paperwork, and I just needed to let my mind go elsewhere for a break.
So, I started thinking about dead people. (go figure) And I made a list.
These weren't just names on a piece of paper. They were people I KNEW. People I worked with, ate with, laughed with and played golf with. All dead now.
I don't believe that anyone becomes conscious of his own mortality until he's outlived a lot of people. That's one of the reasons that kids are fearless. They aren't familiar with death. They believe that they will live forever.
And I wish that they could.
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