Gut Rumbles

June 10, 2004

bohemian, again


Here is a study in light and shadow taken somewhere on Folly Beach. I fell in love with the bartender at that place. On a scale of one-to-ten, she was a solid eleven--- and I was NOT drunk and staring through beer goggles when I made that assessment. She was that goddam pretty.

Everything about her was PERFECT--- perfect teeth, perfect smile, perfect hair, perfect ass, perfect legs, just enough boobery to make everything symmetrical and pretty feet in dainty sandals, too. If she only painted her toenails red, she'd be a legitimate twelve in my book.

Unfortunately, she's 24 years old. She's a magnet for the beach-hunks, the surfers with the six-pack abs and all the faggot-looking, pretty boys who resemble stars in soap operas. They all swarm around her like moths on a porch light. An old fart philosopher such as myself, with a scraggly gray silver beard and a racoon-mask suntan on my face from wearing sunglasses every time I'm outside just doesn't stand a chance in her league.

That's just as well. She's too young to appreciate my expertise in bed and the money in my wallet my worldly wisdom. That kind of stuff is wasted on BEAUTIFUL 24 YEAR-OLD BABES the young.

I'm going to let the beard grow for a while. I never enjoyed shaving every day to begin with, and now I don't have to, so I don't. I kinda like the beatnick, burnt-out hippie look. It fits me like a warm glove. I tried to be bohemian once before in my life, but I was in MY TWENTIES then and I didn't understand how to do it right.

I know better now.

I'll hand out some more philosophy while I'm in my bohemian mood. Here's something for all you beautiful young ladies to think about: GO TO BED WITH AN OLDER MAN. PREFERABLY ME!!! You need to do that one thing as a true life-expanding experience.



Dammit. Always nice to see a fresh photo of YOU...but couldn't you have turned the camera AROUND?

Posted by: robert on June 10, 2004 11:02 PM

I totally agree about the older man. When I was in my twenties, I went to the Phillipines for the Navy. While there, I met and had a GREAT time with a 54 year old Senior Chief Petty Officer.

Awesome time was had by all - and I learned a lot.

Posted by: drc on June 10, 2004 11:26 PM

Ya look right sly and mephistophelian in that pic. I can just imagine you saying, "Little girl, have you ever tried nitrous oxide?"

Seriously, it's a good picture; seems to jibe with what I detect of yr personality from yr writing. I mean that in a good way. Honest!

Posted by: Justthisguy on June 10, 2004 11:38 PM

anyone want to comment on an older woman having a young stud??my hubby of 37 yrs is just about worn down to a stub--yes i did all of it- but-GOT DAMN- 30 seconds of passion just dont get the job done now-lolol!!! and jeez rob--you ARE the dude!!!!

Posted by: mikeymom on June 11, 2004 12:31 AM

Well, Rob... here's a comment from a married woman who's just a few years older than you -- but I got ugly feet -- so --

You're a good lookin' guy. Good photo, Rob. But I've got a question: Are you smiling or are you leering at that pretty young lady? *grin*

Posted by: flax on June 11, 2004 01:31 AM

A picture of the young lady in question would have nice...

Posted by: Mike on June 11, 2004 01:49 AM


Posted by: DeoDuce on June 11, 2004 03:31 AM

hmmm, you look exactly as i pictured you; wise, sexy and tan. If I'm ever in your neck of the woods I'll look you up! *S*

Posted by: Michele on June 11, 2004 04:21 AM

There is definitely something to be said for older men. My husband is 18 years older than me and no one before him compared.

When we lived in Charleston, Folly Beach was our favorite.

Posted by: langus on June 11, 2004 10:59 AM

Long time reader... first time commenter...

I love the blog BTW, never change.... anyway...

Not sure if you *wanted* that picture so dark... but I could hardly look at it like that...

I brightened and sharpened it a bit... if you want me to send you the enhanced verstio, let me know.


Posted by: Tim on June 11, 2004 02:20 PM

Older men are better in bed. :)

Posted by: shell on June 11, 2004 03:36 PM

One word....rapscallion!

Posted by: Cythen on June 12, 2004 12:20 AM

Hey, Cythen! That's from Mark Twain. (never forget that you're dealing with an English Lit major here.)

Posted by: Acidman on June 12, 2004 09:09 AM
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