Gut Rumbles

March 27, 2004

neat gizmos

I have a thermometer that I stick in my ear and click, and it tells me my temperature right away. I also have an old-fashioned mercury thermometer that you have to hold under your tongue for two minutes to take your temperature.

I was feverish and hallucinating yesterday, but I still had enough wherewithall about me to try an experiment. I put the mercury thermometer in my mouth for two mintues, then shot myself in the ear with my high-tech gizmo right before I removed the standard thermometer.

The readings were the same. 102.5 degrees.

I was amazed. How the hell does that thing work? Just poke it in your ear and click a button and you get an accurate reading of your temperature? Who the hell invented that thing? He deserves a got-dam Nobel Prize. That's one superb medical tool.

Of course, it won't make you well-- it'll just let you know how sick you are very quickly.