Gut Rumbles

December 20, 2003

get a goddam job

I learned three talents in my life that guarantee me a job anywhere I travel in this country. I won't make a lot of money performing those tasks, and my paycheck might not meet "living wage" standards of some Democrat assholes, but I can find a job if I want one. I won't starve to death.

I am a good short-order cook. I worked my way through college flipping hamburgers. I can tend bar. I did that job when I didn't have a musical gig lined up for a month or so. I can operate a cash register and make it balance at the end of my shift. I never stole from an employer.

Tell me that I can't find a fucking job SOMEWHERE if I want one.

What you will NOT see me doing, even if I was stone-assed broke and sleeping in a cardboard box, is standing by the side of the road and holding up a WILL WORK FOR FOOD sign. BULLSHIT!

If that sign melts your heart, you need a transplant.


I think I'll make up some "Will Lie
Like A Fucking Dog For a Handout" signs and put 'em in the Blazer to give these Scum Bobs. They want a handout? I'll have one for them.

Posted by: Velociman on December 20, 2003 11:07 PM

Your tough, but I have to agree with alot of your comments.

Posted by: K.Z. on December 20, 2003 11:13 PM

We have a version of the "Will Work For Food" racket here in Louisville. They're an organized bunch of con men. Every morning a guy picks all the bums up in a van and deposits them at strategic intersections throughout the city. The driver picks them back up around 5:30. The driver gets a percentage from every bum and the bums pool the rest to buy cheap wine.

How do I know this? One of my best friends worked at a homeless shelter for 4 years. DO NOT give these lazy lying bums money. They have all the food they want to eat at the local shelter.

Posted by: Brent on December 20, 2003 11:14 PM

From the blogs I've been reading today, those cardboard-carrying asswipes make more money than I do.

Somebody make me a sign NOT!

Posted by: SASSY on December 20, 2003 11:18 PM

The first day the guy standing outside the conveninece store asked me for change, I gave it to him. On the second day, he approached us with the same story and my husband said "She gave you a dollar yesterday". On the third day, even I was irritated. By the fourth day, that bleeding heart transplant was no longer necessary.

Posted by: jules on December 20, 2003 11:28 PM

Damn, y'all bunch of party poopers. I was revisin' my sign to "I'll kick your ass for food--but it's gotta be prime rib". Still too long, though.

Posted by: SwampWoman on December 20, 2003 11:49 PM

Just the other day I was pulling into a fast food drive-through and a guy jumped in front of the car with his hand out! I had the windows rolled up because I had seen him loitering in front of the place and I had a feeling he would do something like this.

So I just stopped, folded my arms and gave him the "I-will-run-your-skanky-a**-over-if-you-don't-move" stare . He got the hint and moved.

I have volunteered at a couple of missions here in LA. These places serve up some good food. My great aunt volunteers *every week* to feed the "hungry" at her church (Catholic).

None of these people are begging money for food.

Posted by: Juliette on December 21, 2003 12:59 AM

I've lived in plenty of cities before moving out here to the Left Coast. And I saw plenty of these SOBs in those cities. But the following two incidents happened to me this year alone.

In the first, I was inside a grocery store -- you read that right, INSIDE! -- when I was accosted for money. Usual crap ... war vet ... mouths to feed ... But you should have seen this "homeless" guy. Addidas gym suit. Nice sneakers. Jewelry, fer Chrissake! When I said no, he just went right on the next customer.

The second incident was also inside a grocery store. But this motherfucker had the nerve to cut in line in front of me and the guy in front of me at the checkout. Then he turned around and hit up the guy in front of me for spare change to buy the single can of beer he was holding. (Now here in Kalifornia you can't buy single beers in a grocery store, so this subhuman clearly picked it off of a six pack.)

I quietly and calmly informed this miscreant that there is a line here and that his place in it was behind me. He put down the beer and scurried out of the store. Hopefully to his death.

Posted by: HH in Hollywood on December 21, 2003 03:10 AM

I'm a painting contractor and have offered quite a few of those beggars a job for a day, trust me work is the last thing on their mind. Most seem offended that I even considered taking them up on their offer, piss on them all.

Posted by: Cinciphil on December 21, 2003 08:09 AM

Forgot to add, I have a t-shirt stating " Will Work For Weed " which brings out comments similar to the ones here. Never once has anyone been offended by it.

Posted by: Cinciphil on December 21, 2003 08:11 AM

Yup. Mcdonalds, BK and their like are always hiring...and if thats not good enough the department of labor will actually do the hard part of finding places that are hiring. I stopped once to tell the people begging on the side of the street that I would take their dogs off their hands and that way they would not have to worry about their pup starving. Of course they refused. If they were really worried about the pup starving they would have handed him over quick. They just wanted money. I gave em dog food and a plastic fork. Hope THEY enjoyed it!

Posted by: Chaos on December 21, 2003 08:38 AM

Personally, I think those signs make swell pistol targets. Saves on the expense of buying those damned expensive ISPC match targets, y'know.

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on December 21, 2003 11:35 AM

Two stories:

#1) - My wife has a landscaping business and she has the same story - sometimes she needs grunt labor and when she asks these people, they always refuse.

#2) - I used to have a store on the second floor of a building in the heart of the Seattle University District - lots of panhandlers there. Sometimes when things were slow, I would use some binocs to watch them and I saw that they were bringing in $30-$50 day in cash with zero withholding, no taxes paid and free housing from the shelters...

Posted by: DaveH on December 21, 2003 11:48 PM

That happens to me almost every time I go to Vegas. I just walk right by them and ignore it.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on December 22, 2003 04:08 PM
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