Gut Rumbles

December 18, 2003

buying rubbers

The world certainly has changed since I was a teenager. When I wanted a condom back in the late 60s, I had to sneak into a bathroom in a bar and plug fifty cents into a machine that said, "FOR PREVENTION OF DISEASE ONLY!" to buy one. I wasn't going to pull a Summer of 42 and go ask a pharmicist for a box of Trojans. That idea was just too humiliating.

Now, I can buy any kind of condom I want in the fucking GROCERY STORE. They are right there on a stand-up display next to the anti-acid tablets and the Rogaine on aisle 18 at the Kroger's down the road from where I live. They have everything you possibly could want. They have ribbed, lubricated, extra-thick, ultra-sensitive, super-large, glow-in-the-dark and all in multiple colors.

I stopped in front of that display this week and had a crazy thought. Suppose I dumped every one of those things into my buggy and strolled up to the cash register? Would the cashier even bat an eye when she rang up my purchace? Or, would I get something of a hairy eyeball and feel the need to explain that I had a lively weekend planned?

I didn't do it, but I thought about it.

A condom display in Krogers. What is this world coming to?


The tolerance level is being lowered to the lowest-common-denominator standard in the U.S.A. But, that's a whole big discussion I'm not going to get into right now.

I'll just say that it is competition for the consumer dollar. If a store doesn't carry an item, the store can't sell it, and the customer will go to another store to buy it.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 18, 2003 10:13 AM

This can lead to a little fun if you feel ornery.

Pick up a few packs and drop them in other peoples carts while they are not looking. :)

Posted by: cbgaloot on December 18, 2003 10:40 AM

A lady friend of mine also had problems with mild embarassment when she went to buy condoms. So she's always get the biggest box she could, head for the counter, and when it was her turn, she'd ask the cashier:

"Do you think that's enough for the weekend?"


Posted by: Lamont Cranston on December 18, 2003 10:51 AM

Just think, By the time Quinton hits high school they'll have condom dispensers in the school restrooms.. (if they're not there already!)

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on December 18, 2003 11:11 AM

all of the Krogers' around here keep them in locked cases, but I work in a drug store and we don't. I don't even bat an eyelash when people buy condoms and stuff, as long as they're acting like a normal adult. it's when the young guys strut up to the counter like they're hot shit, but then won't make eye contact with me. that's when my parting words are usually something like, "have a really good day." and I usually wink for good measure.

Posted by: girl on December 18, 2003 11:12 AM

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which his father matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "I've heard of that in health class at school." He then looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, "Why are there three in this package?" His dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy, who then notices a six pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men, son," his dad answers. "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a pack of twelve condoms.

Sighing heavily, his dad explains, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March.....""

Posted by: SASSY on December 18, 2003 01:22 PM

I had to laugh when I read this. It reminds me of something my husband said to me before we got married and started reproducing. We had decided we were ready to 'do the deed' but weren't going to take any 'chances' so we needed condoms. When we got to the 7-Eleven, he says to me, come on I want you to go in with me. Silly me, I was thinking he was embarrassed and said so. He said "hell no, I'm not embarrassed, I'm proud and I want them to see you so they will be proud for me too!". Needless to say we damn near used that whole box in one night!
Thanks for reminding me!

Posted by: wanda on December 18, 2003 03:04 PM

A condom display in Krogers. What is this world coming to?

That Kroger acknowleges the fact people fuck for reasons other than procreation and might wish to buy such things?

Yah think?

Posted by: bear, the (one each) on December 18, 2003 11:54 PM

I'm with Bear. People are going to fuck, there's no disputing that, they might as well not get a disease that can kill them (or pregnant). Go Kroger! Would you believe they sell condoms in plain sight in unlocked cabinets here in Salt Lake City?? Ironic? Yes, I think so.

When I was still getting laid, I used to love buying condoms, I didn't care who saw. When it comes down to embarrassment vs. death from sex (or worse), I think I'd rather be embarrassed. I'm funny that way.

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Posted by: autodirektversicherung on January 7, 2004 01:47 PM

A solved puzzle is just a picture.

Posted by: Miller Mariah on January 26, 2004 02:33 PM
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