Gut Rumbles

December 07, 2003


Bah. Humbug.

The neighbors all have lights and decorations up now. I'm not doing diddly-squat this year. I may hang that lighted wreath on my front door if I can find it in the garage, but that's as far as I will go, if I even bother to go that far. I'm not going to put up a tree.

Christmas is just one more reason to be depressed anymore. Fuck it.


Do it the old fashioned way for Quinton. Take him out to the woods and chop one down, string pop corn,cranberries,get some lights,balls and tinsel at WAL-MART-You don't have to celebrate it for Jesus celebrate it as a season of giving from your heart. You don't want a visit from Christmas past. I'm going to be alone too for Christmas for the 5th year but I put up my tree for me. I'll probably be in tears when it gets here but I'm enjoying the decor now. There's something about Christmas lights hanging over the fireplace and stockings hung there. They are my kid's stockings that I use to fill to the brim. They now are always empty but I've still got the spirit of giving in my heart We really need a Bah Hum Bang

Posted by: Lexia on December 7, 2003 09:18 PM

Sweetie, you need a copy of the 'holiday sign' I've got up!
It's perfect.

Posted by: Stevie on December 7, 2003 09:25 PM

Shame on you.
I can say fuck it to everything, but I don't.

Posted by: Jim Tomas on December 7, 2003 10:02 PM

Crimmus ain't so bad. It becomes a chore when it's done for the wrong reasons, or for SOMEONE elses reason.
I loosen the bulbs on my neighbors lights.
I rearrange their nativity scenes. Last year I put the baby Jeebus in Satan's, I mean Santa's sleigh, and put Santa in the manger.

Hellk, everbody knows that Cristmas isn't about how many pieces of lit up plastic one can put in their yard.....or they SHOULD know that. Shirt, they've even taken "Christ" outa Christmas and made it "X-mas" for conveniences sake.

The true meaning of Christmas is about the children. Go out and run those credit cards up to the max, the stores are open extra hours just so you can show the kiddos how much you really love them!

Next, invite the relatives over, pretend you get along with them while you're really counting the minutes,or hours, until they get they stop drinking your booze, sweating on your couch, dumping pie crust between the cushions.

Don't forget the 24 bales of garbage you will have to put at the curb for everyday they were there.

Oh yeah, don't forget to buy batteries.

Feliz Navidad.

Posted by: marcus on December 7, 2003 10:13 PM

I agree with putting up a tree for Quinton. He'll need to shake those packages with his name on them a few dozen times

Are you going to let Santa only come at Jennifer's this year?

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 7, 2003 10:26 PM

By the way, why don't you go back to the white zin for awhile, put away the hard stuff, and see if you feel better. Just a suggestion.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 7, 2003 10:28 PM

Anna, kiss my Cracker ass.

Posted by: Acidman on December 7, 2003 10:44 PM


You know you like to tell stories about your childhood? You need to help build some memories so that Quinton has stories of his own to tell some day.

Posted by: Trish on December 7, 2003 10:44 PM

Why is an atheist worried about Xmas? Heck, you could just tell folks you're Jewish (works for me). Or, you could take the Seinfeld approach and have a very merry Festivus.

Posted by: Seppo on December 7, 2003 10:55 PM


Go take another look at the banner on Kim DuToit's site. Then get'cha some archery 3-D plastic deer targets, mock up a fake sleigh and get a couple mannequins for the Santa and Hunter characters.

Do that layout in your front yard, and you'll be a legend to a whole new generaton of kids and the bane of soccer moms, everywhere.

What more can one ask for?

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on December 8, 2003 07:29 AM

Put up a friggin tree you STUBBORN old coot.

I'm not in the mood either, but I think we've established the fact that we FAKE IT for those we love.

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