July 30, 2003
What if Acidman was Lileks? Work with me here. Think about the Star Trek episode with the transporter mishap, and Kirk, Bones and Uhura end up in a parallel universe, where a scar-faced Sulu is trying to get jiggy with Uhura. Evil Spock has a goatee and a serious career development problem. So what would a Bloat look like?
Posted by guest blogger "I ain't gettin' no Instapundit link" Kim
Took Mosquito to the Savannah Mall so we could mock the Windows losers obviously out of their league in the Apple Store. Showed her how to get free porn on the game sites. This was my old routine, even though the BC got her ass fired, and that sweet salary went south, along with my easy living. I know the bitch did it on purpose because she's about to leave me for that Phoenician shithead at her office and wants to glom onto MY salary at the divorce. I told Mosquito not to grow up into a twat like that.
I love Crackerwood. It's in a great old neighborhood with fifty thousand steps to the front door and a Giant Speedfreak as a neighbor who drinks my liquor like he owns the Absolut distillery. And Cracker is a great big dog that eats cats, which I like, and leaves huges piles of dung on the floor, which I admire, especially when it has cat bones in it. I had problems with my gimblofizzits on my new Mac laptop, and then the goddammed farfigfuckingnuggen wouldn't work, but you Windows losers wouldn't know shit about that, would you?
I had three articles to do tonight, but I said fuck it and slugged down five glasses of white zin and e-mailed my syndicate a piece of shit article I'd written two years ago about how I found some asshat's matchbook collection and fried every damned one of them trying to get a soaked sinsy bud lit. I've got a file drawer full of shit articles like that for emergency purposes.
Hugh Hewitt mocked me again on his radio show and said my guitar playing sucked, and how I liked Yellow Man, so I went down to the station and beat the pus out of him. Kinda sucks, because that clown was great filler on my Newhouse column. Now I need another hook.
Did I tell you how itsy-witsy cutesy-wutesy Mosquito is? Too bad. I needed a filler line. That hook's wearing thin, too. Think I'll adopt a kid from Cote D'Ivoire. THAT should give me some material. Look at that Gary Coleman and Willis schtick. Dana Plato's STILL in prison, isn't she? Slut.
Gotta run. Three radio interviews, a trip to Potty Barn (upscale toilet training gear), and a run to the drugstore for rubber gloves. Cracker needs a good deworming tomorrow, and I'm going to check his oil while I'm at it. Out.
Dana Plato's dead as a doornail.
Yeah, well, see? THAT's funny. If it bends, it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny.
Awesome! Why can't I write shit like that?
Gee, Denny. Look at all the comments. Jimmy Lileks. The Third Rail of the Blogosphere. Nobody's gonna jump on this one. Wait. Let's apply Occam's Razor. The simplest solution is usually the correct solution. Which means the post wasn't funny in the first place. NOW we're getting traction! How about if Acidman was Grouchy Old Cripple? I smell rubber hoses and a VH-1 What The Fuck Happened To Them? bio.
No, you sell yourself short: It was quite funny. Two send ups at once is quite a feat. Bravo!
Are you nuts? Screw those other blogs that haven't noticed this - trust me, I surf all day and This Is Hilarious. Knock it outta the park funny. When the wine goes thru the nose and all over the keyboard instead of down the hatch like it's 'posed to - sure sign of funny.
I am enjoying the h*** outta Acidman's vacation!
I haven't laugh this hard in a long time! Excellant writing! Acidman should go on vacation more often.
I'll never be able to read Lileks the same way again .... thank God.
Surveillance system monitoring by surveillance camera methods, not least video surveillance, can result in more serious forms of surveillance equipment being used in our homes and towns.
For example, cctv equipment, such as the cctv camera, can employ both wired and wireless cctv solutions. Overuse has led to Britain being re-dubbed: cctv UK.
A point to make here is that there are a range of different cameras that can be involved: wireless camera, pinhole camera, covert camera, spy camera, and security camera, are all different types of camera that might be involved.
Not least because the picture can be downloaded and recorded easily into a digital video recorder or other DVR system using a DVR card in your home PC.
In fact, you can even plug in a usb phone to call the police with if you see anything suspicious!
Of course, monitoring the safety of your home and family needed all see all that scary and intimidating. For example, you can use a teddy cam baby monitor to make non-invasive monitoring of your baby.
Long Run Printing:
Leaflets, letterheads, NCR sets (invoices), envelopes, business cards, compliment slips, etc.
Short Run Printing:
Large format printing, A3 printing, shop posters, etc.
Large number plates, acrylic number plates, etc
Printed Vinyl lettering, light boxes, floor graphics, shop displays, pop-up displays, engraving, name badges, safety signs, etc.
Of course, if its webmastering you want, do a search on Google and see what you end up with, but beware of world religions, as the BBC news might report another topic. As the gangly octopus states there can be no foreign entry requirements. Of course, science fiction talking, browse the participating in government activities. And if what isn’t what you see and internet marketing isn’t your thing, and webhosting talk doesn’t make for your breakfast bowl then simply get your act together at open directory project and stop all your business talking and get yourselves a yahoo life together for yourself.
And if the of the and it the frog goes to the it and the thxiiiii ouis iss aassnt ffggler asds gron spjsop
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Congratulations and good luck for the future.
Thank you very much!
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