Gut Rumbles

July 02, 2003

now wild animals are getting involved

It sure didn't take long for food-police frenzy to spread. Now, even grizzly bears are having fits of righteous indignation over artery-clogging, over-salted junk food.

A grizzly bear forced two campers to retreat into a lake before snatching their Doritos and smashing them into little pieces.

"He just left this little sawdust pile of broken chips," camper Daynna Dowell said.

You think THAT'S scary? Just wait until the lawyers raid your camp.


Imagine what he would've done if he'd found cigarettes.

Posted by: McGehee on July 2, 2003 06:58 PM

I bet they were those vile Ranch flavored chips.

Posted by: Da Goddess on July 2, 2003 08:31 PM

Goddess, either those, or those new Torindas or whatever they are called. Vile stuff, those! And this bear highly dislikes ranch ANYthing unless it is ranch dressing on a salad.

Posted by: bear, the (one each) on July 2, 2003 09:10 PM

To a bear, the caloric value of a bag of chips is well worth the exercise of tearing a car door open to get at it. I live close to a National Park. Every year, you have some city fools who leave food where bears can smell and get to it . Their cooler or vehicle is then trashed in the feeding process.

Hey, just think of it as the audience participation version of "Wild Kingdom".

Posted by: Dark Avenger on July 3, 2003 04:06 AM

Bear, the dangedest thing about those Toringas, I couldn't get enough of them when they first came out. Then one day about a year ago, halfway through a can of 'em, I just couldn't stand 'em anymore and haven't touched 'em since.

Hasn't stopped me eating other kinds of tortilla chips, unfortunately...

Venge, maybe the rule should be that flatland idiots like that should be required to wear cold cuts while in their sleeping bags. That might be a start toward culling the herd.

Posted by: McGehee on July 3, 2003 07:34 AM

Now I know what to do with the next bag of chips that haven't all been throught the crusher.

Posted by: Larry on July 3, 2003 08:31 AM
Post a comment