Gut Rumbles

June 29, 2003

things i was thinking

Why do people say, "I'm going to take a shit" when they intend to leave one?

Why are farts funny?

Why does it feel good to scratch my balls?

Why does it feel good to scratch my balls while it feels even BETTER to have a woman play with them?

I feel sorry for wimmen. They can't piss standing up in the woods. Well, some CAN, but most don't.

Why do some turds float while others sink?

Why does a cat bury its shit outside then piss on a potted plant indoors?

Why are there cats? I hate them.

Why are there monkeys? I hate them, too.

What is the meaning of my life? Am I merely a meat-eating, carbon unit who is an ugly bag of mostly water? Hell, that can't be right. I ain't ugly.

Why do bloggers take blogging seriously? 95% of meat-eating carbon units who are ugly bags of mostly water never heard of a blog. My urologist flies his own airplane and HE never heard of a blog until I told him about mine.

Why do we sleep at night and stay active during the day? It can't be completely natural because bats don't do that.

What makes you love somebody when you don't love everybody?

What is so goddam special about "diversity?"

It's all a mystery to me.


What makes you love somebody when you don't love everybody?

I suspect that's partly because we prefer to have only some women play with our balls than for everyone to do it.

Posted by: Trigger on June 29, 2003 12:51 PM

Ask Den Beste, he'll explain everything to you in a 10 000 word essay with formulas and diagrams.

Posted by: dr.dna on June 29, 2003 07:39 PM

If your turds float, it means there's too much fat in your diet.

Don't ask me where I learned that. I don't remember.

Posted by: Kevin Baker on June 29, 2003 09:44 PM

Why does a cat bury its shit outside then piss on a potted plant indoors?

Because it's asking for someone's foot up its ass.

Posted by: sugarmama on June 29, 2003 09:45 PM

Kevin stole my answer!

Posted by: bogie on June 30, 2003 04:35 AM


You learned that from the back wrapper of Ivory soap.

Posted by: Anna on June 30, 2003 07:50 AM

"If your turds float, it means there's too much fat in your diet."

Damn I love blogs, I learn something new everyday.

Posted by: serenity on June 30, 2003 08:57 AM

Now I heard that floating turds are better because that means you are getting sufficient fiber in your diet, whereas if your turds sink that means you're not getting enough fiber. Is there a doctor in the blog?

Posted by: Wayne on June 30, 2003 12:25 PM

Hmm, you might find this useful:
Poop FAQ

its either gas or fat that makes it float.

As to diversity, if you are talking about diversity of backgrounds, thought, ideas and experiences...

basically the opposite reason that inbreeding is bad (This Virginian won't comments about W. Virginia or Kentucy).

Posted by: Trey on June 30, 2003 05:41 PM

Well, the "diversity" lobby only cares about the kind that's only skin-deep.

Posted by: McGehee on July 1, 2003 07:09 PM

I like turds.especially big turds

Posted by: johnny turd on August 17, 2003 02:31 AM

Hi...I´m just surfed in and want to say hello!
Regards George

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