Gut Rumbles

June 09, 2003


My parents believed in corporal punishment. I got my ass whipped a lot as I was growing up. The Weapons Of Ass Destruction used on me were (not necessarily in order of frequency or effectiveness):

1) Bare hands. My parents tended to spank with the right hand, but my mama was ambidexterous. She could spank with both hands at the same time if she had two sons that needed it at once.

2) A Belt. Yep. That was Dad's baliwick and you knew you had fucked up bad when the belt came off and was applied to your butt-cheeks. Getting the belt was the a death sentence around my house. That was reserved for crimes so terrible that Mama just looked at you with tears in her eyes and said, "We'll discuss this when your father gets home." But dad was a man, so he used the belt he was wearing at the time. You sorta knew what to expect. That's the way men do things.

3) The Switch. Oh, Bejus, THAT was the worst, especially if you had to go out and select the switch yourself. You better pick a good one, or Mom will choose a two-by-four to use on you, but you don't want to choose TOO WELL, because that thing is going to rain carnage on your ass. The switch was the female-applied Death Sentence. It's perverse, too, because they made you select the bullet they were going to kill you with. That's just plain FEMALE!

4) The Bolo-Paddle from hell. Remember Bolo-Paddles? Remember that stupid toy that had a rubber ball on a rubber string? The one where you slapped the ball around for about 10 minutes before the rubber string broke and you lost the little rubber ball? And Mama kept the paddle part and whipped your ass with it? Maybe YOU don't, but I DO!

I have spanked my son twice in his entire life. I used my bare hands both times and he deserved what he got. (I had to show him who was Tall Dog.) I think back on all the spankings I got and wonder... is he that much BETTER BEHAVED than I was as a child, or am I a slack disciplinarian?

He's a good kid, but NO BOY is that good. I think I'll spank him next weekend whether he needs it or not. Then, I'll tell him, "See? That's what you get if you screw up. I just wanted to remind you not to do that."

Parenting is confusing work.


I'm with ya. My mama used to make me pick out the switch, then if it broke I had to go pick another one and as punishment she started over at zero with the licks. She also had a thing with the Dr. Scholl's wooden clogs with the blue toe strap and buckle that came out in the late 1970's. She taught me quickly that I couldn't assing around in the supermarket because she didn't have a weapon at hand ready to use. I actually saw a pair of those shoes in a thrift store a few years ago and broke into a cold sweat. I also have to say, I'm glad they whupped my ass. It was the fear of my daddy's cowboy belt with the big buckle that kept my young ass out of juvenile hall.

Posted by: Dennis P. on June 9, 2003 05:43 PM

The Belt: never good to see one of those. YIKES.

No wonder you are so ornery.

Posted by: Dawn on June 9, 2003 05:51 PM

The "Once a Day whether you need it or not" theory is a very old Chinese tradition!

Posted by: MommaBear on June 9, 2003 06:16 PM

Has anyone done a comparison on belt versus hairbrush? That's what MB got as a young'un.

Posted by: MommaBear on June 9, 2003 06:32 PM

When my older brother was about 10, he came home from school one day with an old fashioned leather razor strop that he'd found. Extra bad move. That thing was about 5 inches wide and 4 feet long and was typically applied when doubled. The doubled thickness was at least 1/2 inch of solid leather. You knew when mom or dad mentioned "The Strap" you'd better start praying 'cause you were fixin' to meet Jesus.

Posted by: Lolo on June 9, 2003 06:35 PM

When I was a kid, my Mom broke her switching arm. When I got out of control, she would bonk me on the head with the cast. Ouch!

Posted by: Jim Thomas on June 9, 2003 06:36 PM

MB! I FORGOT ABOUT THE HAIRBRUSH! Damn, but that thing hurt and made a terrible sound.

Hell, if there was a weapon of ass destruction, my parents used it on me. Whatever was handy. Whatever they could grab first, from a spatula to a rolled-up newspaper.

But I can recall only ONE spanking out of the hundreds I received that I didn't deserve. I don't resent it too much, because I never got caught for a LOT of things that would have warranted a spanking.

Ya pays ya money and ya takes ya chances. I believe that I still came out ahead.

Posted by: Acidman on June 9, 2003 07:30 PM

I remember the pom pom paddles but after breaking a few, Mommie Dearest came up with a better plan. We used to break into a cold sweat every Christmas as our little brother would open up a new set of Hot Wheels, we knew the tracks were going to end up on our butts soon. We would spend the next twelve months hiding them and then pow we would really get it, if Mom couldn't find one handy when she was in the mood.

Posted by: Sassy on June 9, 2003 07:32 PM

Well let's see, there's your choice of peach tree or willow tree switches. Then there's the rifle strap, belt, flat backed hair brush or the first line of attack, the hand. Been there and experienced them all. I guess the reason I'm an angel today, * because there was the day it all came to a head. I got 7, that's right, SEVEN whippings in ONE day, for the same damned thing. Boy I just about wore my daddy out!
Now today you've got the nanny police saying you can't use corporal punishment anymore. Of course they don't give you any reasonable or workable solutions in letting the little wonders know when you SAY something that you're serious. If you can't use a physical method of backing up your word, then all you got is more words to yammer at them, with no effect. I guess that's why the schools are full of rude screaming little heathens.

Posted by: quark2 on June 9, 2003 08:07 PM

We had the bolo paddle. It sat in the same place forever. It had a little 1/2 inch sliver broken off of one side. When I went home with my kids one time, I had to use the bolo on my son. I whacked him one time, and the damn thing broke!!! I didn't hit him all that hard either. I think it dry rotted from not being used for so long. That was the only thing I can ever remember being spanked with.

Posted by: Debbi on June 9, 2003 08:12 PM

The tonality of my Dad's voice when he had to yell at me was more than enough.

Quark-Bravo, Amen and Hallelujah to that one. What's even more special about that particular excercise in CPS stupidity is that now those in charge of making these constricting rules want to charge PARENTS for their kids out-of-control behaviors. BTW, what the heck was so all-fired important that it was worth 7 ass-whuppins in one day?

Posted by: stevie on June 9, 2003 08:28 PM

In remember getting three in one day. But they were all for different things.

Posted by: Acidman on June 9, 2003 08:36 PM

My mother just used her hand. When I was about 7, I realized I could tighten my glutes just before her hand hit. The first time I did it, it stung the hell out of her hand. I really got the tar beat out of me for that!

Posted by: Patty on June 9, 2003 09:08 PM

My Step-Father was a machinist by trade. One day, unbeknownst to me, he took a wooden baseball bat into work with him. He turned it on one of the lathes until it was about 18" long instead of 32". The he put a hollow core in it, and filled it with LEAD.

He put a hole through the handle and put a leather thong strap on it. Just so you couldn't lose your grip, dontcha know. Then he hung that bat by the front door of our house. I had just turned 13 at the time.

Naturally, I asked him what it was for. His reply?

"If you ever come into my house drunk before you are of legal age, ONE of you is going to break."

No brag, just fact.

Now, ask me if I touched so much as a drop before I was legal.

Posted by: Buster on June 9, 2003 10:47 PM

Belt, wooden yard stick, hand, whatever was handy.

Got the point across though, and I certainly didn't need too many of those before I wised up!

Posted by: bogie on June 10, 2003 06:36 AM

Well, let's see. Bare hand, yep. Belt, oh yeah. Hairbrush, maybe once or twice.

When my brother and I got into our teens and thus too big to go over someone's knee, my dad thought it would be smart to just haul off and slug us when he thought we needed it.

One time my dad tried to haul off and slug me, and by reflex from all the fights I'd been getting into since first grade, I just put up my arm to block it. Found out later it really had hurt him more than it hurt me.

And I think he pretty much decided I'd outgrown corporal punishment.

Posted by: McGehee on June 10, 2003 07:16 AM


I had just about the same thing happen to me with my Daddy. My father, uncle, and grandpop were all steelworkers. They would whip your ass in second if you got out of line. My daddy had a nasty temper. My brother and me were always big husky boys. When we reached puberty Daddy would warn you with his famous line, "Boy, do you wanna be picking yourself up from the four corners of this room?" If you went too far he'd hit you with his fist. Daddy was 6'1" and 210 pounds of solid muscle from working in the rail mill yard for over 20 years. By the age of 17 I was 6' and 220 pounds of high school football tackle, offense and defense. One day Daddy got pissed about something and jumped dead into my chest. I don't know why, but I wasn't having it that day. He jumped in and I pushed back. He threw a punch, I blocked it and landed one in his chest. I figured I was dead then, cause he was going to kill me for sure, but nothing happened. He looked me in the eye and backed off. Daddy never tried to hit me again. Did I become a man that day?
I never got into any really bad trouble. I knew what was waiting for me when I got home if I screwed up. My brother and I turned out to be law abiding citizens. Not one day of jail between us, which is more than I can say for some of our friends.
I have two daughters who are now 23 and 19. They have learned to walk all over me when it suits them. Their mama taught them how. Funny thing is..... I never wanted to whip them, even when their mama told me to do it. Maybe I should have done it more often.

Regards................. JOE

Posted by: Joewoofs on June 10, 2003 10:00 AM

Mom favored wooden spoons and hairbrushes for immediate discipline. Willow switches (that I had to get) for the "Think about this" type infractions.

Daddy used his hands or belt.

My Granddaddy though, always used his razor strop. When we stayed with him and my Grandmother you played by HIS rules, not Mom and Daddy's. No backsass was allowed, period.

It paid big dividends to be a fast learner.

Posted by: Gene K on June 10, 2003 12:40 PM

Ha! I've got you all beat. Mom used anything handy to whip her three boys into shape:
A wooden spoon to the funny bone?
A piece of "Hot Wheels" plastic track across the back?
A wire hanger to your ass?

Posted by: Mike M on June 10, 2003 03:01 PM

Eric told me stories of his step-mom using Hot Wheels tracks, spoons, brushes and "whatever was handy" , even rose bush stems complete with thorns, on him as discipline when he was a child. It made me cry. I felt it was child ABUSE, not disciplne. Some of these posts are making me feel bad for the children y'all were.
Where was the line?
No one is saying what the infractions were. (And, Quark-I'm still curious as to what behavior would have inspired 7 whuppins in one day?)
Granted, none of you guys, or Eric, seems to be angry or resentful about it, but....unless y'all were really trying to kill a sibling or burn down a house or abusing animals or something equally as heinous, wasn't any of it over the line? (I really do want to understand this.)
A parent using their open hand seems fair. At least it was stinging them, too. That seems like an automatically limiting factor, to me. Even using Daddy's belt is within my scope of understanding.
But, to just grab whatever was handy? Hot Wheels tracks? Wooden spoons? Hairbrushes? Nah. That I don't get.
Wasn't it people going too far with objects like these, for too long, that brought us to this present day mess we're in? Nowdays, you can't even smack a child who is behaving like a tiny terrorist on the ass. Way too far in the OTHER direction.
A lot of adults say their glad they got their butts smacked when they needed it. I understand that, too. No one has ever said they're glad they got beat with OBJECTS, tho.

Posted by: stevie on June 10, 2003 05:02 PM

I grew up in a neighborhood with very few females my own age. The guys in the neighborhood let me tag along as long as I was willing to ride bikes on the ramps, jump off rooftops, hunt tadpoles, and set fires with a magnifying glass. They even let me practice with the Little League team (but I couldn't play - against the rules, you know).

My dad was okay with all of this, and even tried to teach me to throw a curve ball. He had one rule - don't let me catch you climbing trees. So he didn't catch me.

There was this pine tree in the back yard that called my name everytime I passed it. I could see myself swaying in the top of it, and the temptation (and the encouragement of the boys) was just too much. One afternoon, when I was sure Dad wasn't home from work, that temptation got the better of me. I was a good 15 feet up and had started to rock the top when I heard a commotion below me.

I saw my "buddies" take off through the woods as the sound of a car - Dad's car - came up the dirt road. I tried to scramble down, falling the last 8 feet. Sprawled on the ground, Dad towered over me and asked if I was hurt. When I answered that I was okay, he took off his belt and tanned my tail (and broke his belt in the process).

And then he helped get the pine tar off my hands and knees, and cut down the tree. The whole time, he never said anything more than "Are you hurt?"

Posted by: Kat on June 10, 2003 06:40 PM

Belt? I used to wish for the belt. Had to pretend to cry, with the belt. I never got hit with the buckle, just the doubled-up strap, and it was painless.

What really hurt, and became the weapon of choice, was the plastic tube from the Kirby vacuum cleaner. Fucking OUCH.

I ended up a juvenile delinquent anyway.

Posted by: dipnut on June 10, 2003 07:10 PM

Stevie, I'm afraid I'd have to say that NOT being extra tough on kids has got us in the mess we're in today. Generations of people turned out pretty much okay with this kind of discipline, but trying to make people stop it is a phenomenon of the last 50 years.

And that's the period in which this country has gone to hell in a handbasket.

There's "nice," and then there's "kind." My parents were "kind" because they taught me that there were things I just WAS NOT TO DO or I would pay a price. That lesson carries over.

But it has to be learned first. And kids whose parents are "nice" never do.

That, to me, is just plain cruelty.

Posted by: McGehee on June 10, 2003 09:05 PM

Gotcha. I know there are no easy rules to this. And, I believe in discipline and teaching 100%. But, shouldn't there have been a limit to what was used? Or, would that be a 'no', too because there's no limit to what kids dream up to do next? ;-)
Thanks for the clarification... It makes sense.

Posted by: stevie on June 10, 2003 09:22 PM

My parents used electrical cable to whip my butt. I still have scars on the back of my legs from some of whipping I got when I was a kid.

I am proud of my scars. They are my badge of toughness and survival.

I don't whip my own kids. They listen to me with great care and behave well in my presence.

I must look like someone who has been whipped with electrical cables and therefore not to be messed with.

Come to think of it, most people who meet me listen to me with great care.
When I was 24 years old, I commanded large work gangs of tough men in the Northern Canadian oil field. In the brutal Canadian winters, these men, (many of whom were ex-cons and biker types) would do as I commanded.

They must have detected that I had been flogged weekly as a child and felt a need to heed my words.

I love my parents. Thank you dad. My skinless back paid dividends down the road.

Floggings can turn a person into a very tough cookie.

To anyone wishing to have the ability to command large teams of men effortlessly, I recommend weekly flogging treatments.

Posted by: Bleeding Brain on June 11, 2003 02:43 AM

Huh. And I was just gonna suggest that electrical cable was over the line. Dang, my parents coddled me.

No wonder I was always in fights as a kid -- they could tell I was a softie.


Posted by: McGehee on June 11, 2003 07:30 AM

A little late in commenting here but oh shit do I remember that damn paddle with the ball. I was 8. I'll NEVER forget that day when my mom ripped that ball and string off that paddle and came after me. I don't remember what I did...but I remember that image. Talk about scaring a kid straight!

Posted by: serenity on June 11, 2003 07:51 AM

btw: I do think a belt is over the line. I've got the scars on my head to prove it---came from the sperm donor, not my real parents.

Posted by: serenity on June 11, 2003 07:53 AM

Having given it more thought, I suppose my last comment could be interpreted to mean I don't believe it's possible to raise kids without physical punishment, and that would be contrary to the evidence. But I do think it's less common than its proponents believe.

I do think, though, that Stevie understood what I meant, based on this:

But, shouldn't there have been a limit to what was used? Or, would that be a 'no', too because there's no limit to what kids dream up to do next? ;-)

Since no one is born civilized, a parent needs to be willing to use unpleasant measures in cases of extreme need.

I'm simmering a post of my own on the subject.

Posted by: McGehee on June 11, 2003 09:48 AM

my father was the disciplinarian in our house! he was no nonsense when it came to an ass whippin! he used any one of a # of different belts that he had and for the serious stuff it was a trip to the basement for a good dose of the razor strop or the switch! one of his favorite phrases was "this belt is the only language you kids understand!" well i knew english very well also and told him that once! BIG MISTAKE! i learned after that ass whippin that it did not pay to be sarcastic to a pissed off dad who was holding a doubled over garrison belt in his hand! today it would be considered child abuse i am sure. back when i grew up it was good old fashioned discipline!

Posted by: bbjr on June 19, 2003 08:04 AM

Hell, kids do need to be spanked! They should be spanked as long as they continue to disbehave. Most parents now a day think kids shouldn't be spanked after they turn 10 or 11. I'm 12 and wished I would have been spanked when I was little and right now, because I believe it would straighten me out a lot.

Posted by: Skip Miller on August 9, 2003 10:04 PM

I sure wish my parents would care enough o spank me and my brother. I've never been spanked and I do believe that it would do wonders on our behavior. I'm 12 just like Skip, and my brother Rod, is 9. We do stupid stuff like play in busy streets, cuss, sass adults but never got spanked once for any of it.

Posted by: Dale on August 15, 2003 09:30 PM

I wish my mom would spank me bottom! For one, because of my behavior and two, I have no idea what it is like to get spanked. If anybody has any suggestions as to how I could get my mom to spank me over her knees and on my bare butt. Please email me if you have any suggestions at

Posted by: Dale Ross on August 15, 2003 09:36 PM

My daddy was a cop and he was certainly into law enforcing at work and at home. I used to get twenty lashes with his doubled uo uniform belt on the bare when I stepped out of line. Boy, the memories of sheer terror when he'd reach for the buckle. I reckon it did me the world of good growing up. I think theres a lot of kids about today who could do with a tastse of my opld mans strap.

Posted by: steve on October 10, 2003 04:51 PM

when i was a bad little girl my dad would take me over his knee in a heartbeat, unbuton my pants and pull down my pantiess, if i was really really naughty he would even take off his belt, i cant remember exactly how many bottom whippins ive ever gotten, but they sure did hurt, sometimes he couldnt sit for a week!

Posted by: nataly on February 3, 2004 11:36 PM

when i was a bad little girl my dad would take me over his knee in a heartbeat, unbuton my pants and pull down my pantiess, if i was really really naughty he would even take off his belt, i cant remember exactly how many bottom whippins ive ever gotten, but they sure did hurt, sometimes I couldnt sit for a week!

Posted by: nataly on February 3, 2004 11:36 PM

i think that spanking kids is really important. My parents have never spanked me and now i am fourteen. I'm not terrible but i talk back to them and other thingd like that. I also want to know ways to get my parents to spank me. pleas e-mail me @:

Posted by: jaleto on February 8, 2004 10:49 PM

i think that spanking kids is really important. My parents have never spanked me and now i am fourteen. I'm not terrible but i talk back to them and other thingd like that. I also want to know ways to get my parents to spank me. pleas e-mail me @:

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