Gut Rumbles

April 30, 2003

everybody is peta now

I live where alligators proliferate. The goddam reptilian throwbacks to the days when dinosaurs ruled the earth are EVERYWHERE around here. Every pond on every golf course has at least ONE alligator in it, and if you walk up to the edge looking for an off-line Titleist, you just might shit your golf pants when an angry mama gator charges out of the water with malice aforethought because she has babies in the water where your golf ball disappeared.

I have no love for those creatures.

That's why I have a difficult time understanding the whining done by people in this story. What, exactly, did they EXPECT one man to do when apprehending a renegade nine-foot gator in a residential neighborhood?

Residents told News2Houston that they called authorities after discovering the gator Thursday in the middle of a road in the 22000 block of Lodgestone Court in a Cinco Ranch neighborhood in Katy.

Witnesses recorded the gator's capture on videotape, in which the game warden was seen tying the animal to the back of his pickup, and then dragging it down the street while children and parents watched.

"It was very inhumane," resident Lara Mercadante said. "It was awful. It was absolutely unreal. If you weren't here you would not believe that it happened. We never thought that it was going to end up the way it did."

Lara, I have another scenario for you. Suppose the gator-catcher never showed up and the reptile ATE YOUR CHILD? Would THAT be more "humane?" The only thing a gator likes to eat more than a dog or a racoon is a small child. Bejus!

Had that been MY neighborhood, we never would have called animal control. My neighbors and I would have shot that fucker dead in the street, then had fried alligator tail for supper that night. Plus a few really nice belts and MAYBE a pair of boots. A nine-foot gator has a lot of hide.

The game warden then took the alligator to the end of the street, and shot and killed it, authorities said.

"We at Texas Parks & Wildlife Department were disturbed as many other people were when they saw this video, as many other people were when they saw this video," TPWD Col. Jim Stinebaugh. "We sincerely regret that citizens were upset by seeing this happen."

What were they upset about? The dragging or the shooting? WHAT ELSE did they expect they guy to do? Feed it some raw chicken, pet it on the head and coax it into the passenger seat of the truck so that it could play with the radio while he drove it back to the wild?

"(The game warden) decided that the alligator was too big for him to catch and relocate and would have to be killed," Stinebaugh said. "It seemed appropriate to him that he would have to move the alligator, because it was not possible to shoot the alligator where it was."

However, officials said that as of a result of the incident, they are now reviewing their policies regarding nuisance alligator removal.

Yeah. Next time, THEY JUST WON'T COME!

Good job, bleeding-heart assholes.


Cinco Ranch in Katy is pretty much "reclaimed" land that was a thriving area for wildlife. A bunch of rich assholes tore it all up, put up big houses and golf courses, and wanted to create a human wildlife preserve.

The original residents keep coming back. Yeah, gators make great boots and fried appetizers, but not neighbors.

I'm siding with the alligators on this one. Asshole developers stuck their necks out to displace these nasty creatures, it's their fault these creatures keep wanting to come back.

Posted by: Laurence Simon on April 30, 2003 05:28 PM

This shit is what happens when people pick up "chicken breasts" in the supermarket, instead of wringing their necks to pull their heads off, scalding them, picking off wet feathers, and cutting up their little dead bodies to eat.
No clue about real life.

Posted by: Dan Pursel on April 30, 2003 09:18 PM

I do wish the guy could have shot the gator on the spot and put it out of its misery rather than dragging it down the street, but I'm assuming he had to drag it out of the way of humans and pets before shooting it.

And by the way, after such an incident, I think the meat should then be made available for consumption!

Posted by: dragonfly jenny on May 1, 2003 02:04 PM

Sorry, but if a hyperactive, attention deficit headcase Aussie like The Croc Hunter can relocate crocs with relative ease, so can any Texan worthy of being called a Texan.

Posted by: Chablis on May 4, 2003 06:29 PM

I spoke to a deputy for Harris County who told me That one of the neighbors was feeding it to often and on the day of it's death, the gator was chasing a 7 year old girl and if it wasn't for a neighbor who pulled her inside the fence,she would have been it's next meal.Now why didn't the news anchor people say that.I say the media was not doing their job.Wouldn't YOU?

Joey E.

Posted by: Joey Edgerly on May 13, 2003 01:06 PM

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Posted by: autodirektversicherung on January 7, 2004 01:20 PM

People who do not think far enough ahead inevitably have worries near at hand.

Posted by: Foong Chwee Sze on January 25, 2004 06:19 PM

I agree with the newspaper. Its disgusting what he did to that animal!!! How would you react if you saw your neighbor tying a kid to the back of his truck and drag it down the street??

Posted by: Bleeding Heart Liberal on April 5, 2004 07:30 PM

Just as a solid rock is not shaken by the storm, even so the wise are not affected by praise or blame.

Posted by: Levine Carol on May 2, 2004 07:27 PM

Any certainty is a delusion.

Posted by: Henderson John on May 3, 2004 06:31 AM

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

Posted by: Ong Brandon on May 20, 2004 03:46 PM
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