Gut Rumbles

December 06, 2003


Oddball slept with Quinton and Jack last night. They are convinced that she is a wonderful dog. They aren't aware of that mutt's feral capabilities yet.

I asked those two rapscallions what they wanted for breakfast this morning. I had sugar-coated chocolate cereal, Jimmy Dean sausage-and-egg-biscuits and frozen waffles. "Bacon and eggs!" they yelled.

I explained that the cereal, biscuits and waffles were quick and easy, but bacon and eggs would make Mr. Rob have to work in the kitchen. They looked at each other after my impassioned speech and said, in unison, "bacon and eggs!"

I fixed the little rats bacon and eggs this morning. They sucked that meal up like Hoover vacuum cleaners and drank half a quart of milk along with it. Now they are outside playing basketball.

I have the only basketball goal in my entire neighborhood. Being from Kentucky, I find that fact very strange. Basketball goals were nailed on every tree, every garage and every place a person could put one in Harlan County when I grew up. If you owned a basketball, you didn't have to go far to find a place to shoot.

If someone else heard the noise of a basketball hitting the backboard, kids gathered like flies on honey and you had a full-fledged game going before you knew what happened. That same thing occurs at my house today.

Basketball is a great game. Quinton is playing point guard on his team this year and I'm working to make him the best free-throw shooter they've got. Free-throws are "gimme" points and I'm teaching him to drive to the hoop and draw a foul, too. He's proud because he's leaning to dribble between his legs, but I told him to cut that shit out and learn to pass. He is NOT in the NBA.

Practice dribbling without looking at the ball. Practice with both hands. Learn to make a lay-up an easy score from either side of the basket. Shoot 100 free-throws every day. Learn to bring the ball down the court while looking for the open man. Make a pass without telegraphing the move. Take a long shot when you're open, but don't be a shot-hog. Don't bounce-pass into a zone defense.

Damn! I like coaching my boy in sports.


Hey Rob,

I just gotta say I think you are a really cool dad. Most people put up basketball nets to keep their kids out of their way.


Posted by: Michael Demmons on December 6, 2003 08:44 AM

Those freaks down south don't appreciate the fine art of basketball. It's a midwestern thing. Think about it. I mean sure you get your occasional southern team that's good, but basketball is a Ohio/Indiana/Kentucky thing.

Posted by: Dawn on December 6, 2003 09:17 AM

I was a student at KY when Rupp was THAT is basketball!

Posted by: Sailingcv on December 6, 2003 09:24 AM

I was a student at KY when Rupp was THAT is basketball!

Posted by: Sailingcv on December 6, 2003 09:24 AM

I grew up with a basketball goal in my backyard and have one to this day. The thump of a basketball is a very familiar sound. I played in junior high and being 5'7" at the time I got a lot of rebounds.When I went to high school I had to make a choice of being in band. I chose band.When growing up in the town of Altus,Arkansas "Simple Life" new show on Fox, my goal was a cow pasture between the Ledings "Family on Simple Life"I saw many a cow fornicate while shooting hoops.That's the first thing I'd do when I got home from school.Shoot hoops!

Posted by: Lexia on December 6, 2003 09:32 AM

When it's played right, basketball is the very best team sport, poetry in motion. I grew up in Lexington (when Rupp was coach) and southern Illinois, where they're nearly as nuts about it as KY and IN. Watched my Pop, who was all-Chicago, play industrial league into his late 30's. He taught me most of what I know about the game. My Sr year, we lost in the round of 32 (NO CLASSES in those days) of all IL teams. If NBA would tighten up traveling and carrying, I'd buy NBA league pass. Freakin Lakers are gonna be awesome!

Posted by: Larry on December 6, 2003 09:47 AM

Is there anybody out there that remembers the 4-A Florida High School Basketball Champions of 1964 and 1966? Pensacola High School. The 1964 and '65 team was known as Marvin's Marvelous Machines. Same starters on the 1965 team. My aunt and uncle from Jacksonville will even tell you that the refs threw the Championship game to the Jacksonville team in 1965. There were a lot of people around the state that didn't like the continued dominance of Marvin's Marvelous Machines.

The 1966 team with all new starters was call Marvin's Marvelous Midgets. Yes, they won the State 4-A Championship in 1966, proving that 1964 and 1965 wasn't a fluke. I haven't been able to watch a full game since then. Those teams were poetry in motion of teamwork. Not one outstanding MVP, the whole team was the MVP because they were playing as a team. With my father, watching from the highest seats at mid-court was fantastic. Watching the teamwork of plays being set up and executed was pure poetry, all three years. What about 1967, my senior year? My family moved, twice in fact. But that's another story.

Once again, thank you for the memories, Acidman.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 6, 2003 12:46 PM

My own experience in basketball? Loved it in P.E. classes, no High School Girls teams, way back then. And, we only played half-court. Personally, I thought that was a disgusting rule. I was lucky in scheduling my P.E. class for the last period during my junior year. Basketball in P.E., was for some reason, first on the schedule of sports for that year.

Since I had marching band practice on the band's football field immediately after school, I didn't have the bother of showering and putting back on my school clothes to go home. Why change twice? I marched in my P.E. uniform. (I did refresh my deoderant, though.) After the ten-minute warning to shower and change, I would keep one basketball with me. I'd start at the free-throw line, throw, and rebound and throw again, from where the ball bounced until I had a basket. Got so good with my free-throws, that I had to start "rebounding" to get a lay-up shot from the net. Then I changed to taking the free throw from the back of the circle, just so I could run, get the rebound and throw from odd angles. I was in heaven for 15 minutes, all by myself.

Acidman, why not try my way of practicing free throws with Quinton? Always rebound your own throw, no matter where, even a bounce from going through the net gets a lay-up shot. Fifteen minutes of intense personal work-out works wonders. Or only 10 minutes for a 10-year-old. Jack and Quinton could even take turns with the routine. It's wonderful practice from different lengths and angles.

Oops, I forgot. I am a female, a woman, and should know my place?

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 6, 2003 01:24 PM

Quinton won't get pissed at Oddball until she chews up one of the Nintendo controllers or maybe his baseball glove. Once she gets her, paws on something of HIS, he'll be singing a different tune.

Posted by: Trish on December 6, 2003 02:19 PM

We did 100 free throws every morning before school, 10 at a time with a buddy. Practicing the STROKE is most important in FT's. I was 1 of the worst shooters and I shot over 80% in games. Why in hell doesn't anybody tell Shaq to keep his MF knees flexed?

Posted by: Larry on December 6, 2003 03:29 PM

hmmm....This one?..

Posted by: Eric on December 6, 2003 06:57 PM

I haven't (yet!) read this blog enough to know styles, but if Acidman said the ex had messed up his visitation, how is it possible to be making them breakfast?

OK, I'll shaddap now.

Posted by: mark on December 6, 2003 10:15 PM

Mark, he just couldn't take Quinton and Jack camping, out-of-town. Had to stay home to get Quinton to his practices.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 6, 2003 10:57 PM

I vote for this one.

Posted by: Robin Goodfellow on December 7, 2003 04:55 AM

Basketball "goal"?

Unless that's a southernism, this one is a fake.

It's a hoop, not a goal.

I've never heard Acidman say word ONE about basketball. He's a football guy.

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