Gut Rumbles

November 24, 2003

the gauntlet was thrown

Somebody dared me today to write a post about sex. Okay, I'm in. (Did you catch the pun?)

I've bedded many wimmen in my life, and a lot of them had blonde hair on their heads. But they also had something in common with a 747 Jumbo Jet: they carried a black box. I've known only two natural blondes in my life.

They both were beautiful, with fair skin and almost translucent complexions. They both had blue eyes and were wildcats in the sack. I remember once, lying in bed with Nancy at about 4:00 in the afternoon when the sun came through the curtains just right. I saw something amazing. I told her, "Please don't move."

I'm not going to say what I was doing just before that moment or how I ended up gazing from that angle, but I've never seen anything so lovely since. She had the finest, downy hair on her belly that wasn't visible to the naked eye. But when the sun hit it that afternoon, it lit up like a halo. "You're glowing," I said.

"Purrrr. Yeah. I feel pretty good," she replied.

"No, you don't understand. You are GLOWING right now. I can see it. You resemble an angel."

"You're stoned, Rob." Well, I was full of dope-smoke, but I know what I saw. That fine, blonde hair on her belly caught the sun just right and it lit up with a wonderful light. She really did glow at the time. I wanted just to look at her nekkid body in that light for a few minutes, then mount her like a wild stallion. That's what I did.

She moved to California shortly thereafter. She went all liberal and married an environmentalist. I don't communicate with her anymore.

But I remember the day that she glowed.


Yeah, we do that sometimes.

Posted by: wanda on November 24, 2003 02:37 PM

Acidman, would you sparkle like silver in the late afternoon sunlight?

Posted by: Lady Mae on November 24, 2003 02:48 PM

Being a woman whose carpeting matches the drapes, I have had experianced an occassion where my boyfriend was shocked that I am a natural blond. About the glowing part, with the right guy and the right circumstances, we glow.

Posted by: Anna on November 24, 2003 02:51 PM


Next time that I assign a topic, I'm going to be more specific.

I like this line, "You're stoned, Rob."

LOL-Oh, I can imagine someone telling you that!

Posted by: Key on November 24, 2003 03:04 PM far as being more specific; I wrote on faking it.

Now I'm curious, do you think that any of your partners have done that?

Posted by: Key on November 24, 2003 03:36 PM

Hell, Key... I FAKE IT now.

Posted by: Acidman on November 24, 2003 03:44 PM

Most natural blondes are not blonde enough to sport a blonde box.

All of my partners (single digits) have been blonde, so friends and family are convinced blondes are my type. Not so, grasshoppers: I'm a blonde's type. Many brunettes have crumbled my heart--especially green-eyed Meg--but all declined my suit.

Posted by: Brett on November 24, 2003 05:41 PM

See what you did, A-man? You fucked her brains out!

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on November 24, 2003 07:14 PM

aww jeez-dammit--my man never tole me i glowed--sigh--acidman you are a poet man-a poet!!! p.s.-after menopause, i glow but red--hot flashes are a bee-itch!!1

Posted by: pat on November 24, 2003 08:35 PM

Hi...Im just surfed in and want to say hello!
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