Gut Rumbles
 

November 19, 2003

pissin' all over myself

Yeah, I posted about pissing my bed last night. I did it. I confess. I was in one of those dream-things that was very powerful at the time.

I stripped the sheets and threw them into the washing machine. I'll let the mattress dry and put clean sheets on the bed this evening. It'll be okay.

I have no shame about writing a post such as that one. I had to wear diapers for six months after my prostate surgery, so the concept of pissing all over myself is not new to me. Bejus knows, I've done it plenty of times when I couldn't control my bladder anymore. I believe that a lot of my "honesty" on this blog comes from the fact that I saw my male dignity totally stripped from me two years ago. NOTHING shames me anymore.

Go through that kind of shit and you have two choices. You can either laugh or cry. I did some of both, but I learned one fact: Laughing feels better.

So, yeah. I pissed my bed last night. That funny, don't you think? Hell, LAUGH ABOUT IT! What's the problem? What's the big deal?

You weren't sleeping with me.

Comments

Friendly advice: spray a little Febreze or Resolve on the mattress, then let it dry.

Not that I have any experience in these matters, of course -- it's just something I heard about.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on November 19, 2003 11:26 AM

I really don't think it is any thing to laugh at. I mean it happens to alot of people. Someone who would laugh would have to be pretty heartless and in my humble opinion very shallow.

Posted by: Tammy on November 19, 2003 11:37 AM

LMAO!! I have never pissed on myself while sleeping (as an adult) but I thought I did once.

It was winter and the waterbed heater was on high. During the night, the bed sprung a leak (unknown to me). I awoke laying in a "warm wetness" and thought I had peed on myself. I was so disgusted. Ewwww! How could I have done such a juvenile thing? HA!!

While I was cleaning myself up, I thought, hey this smells like chlorine - not piss. I snatched the covers off the bed and found the pinhole in the mattress. WHEW!!

The only time I can remember pissing on myself was the day I back talked my momma and dad happened to come around the corner as I was running my smart mouth. He smacked me on the butt - not hard but it surprised me. My dad had NEVER spanked me until that day and when his monster hand made contact with my butt cheek, I lost all piss control for some reason.

From that day forward, I always made sure dad wasn't around before I opened my trap in a disrespectful way. ;)

Posted by: medicmom on November 19, 2003 11:38 AM

I've never wet the bed before, but I thought I did 14 years ago. I was 9 months and 2 days pregnant and I woke up at 4am with wet undies. I thought, What's up with that? Did I just pee on myself or did my water break?

I called the doctor, he met me at the hospital, and did a test. Luckily my water broke and I hadn't pee'd on myself afterall. But if I had, I figured I had a good enough excuse!

No biggie Acidman, that stuff happens to the best of us.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on November 19, 2003 11:58 AM

I've never wet the bed before, but I thought I did 14 years ago. I was 9 months and 2 days pregnant and I woke up at 4am with wet undies. I thought, What's up with that? Did I just pee on myself or did my water break?

I called the doctor, he met me at the hospital, and did a test. Luckily my water broke and I hadn't pee'd on myself after all. But if I had, I figured I had a good enough excuse!

No biggie Acidman, that stuff happens to the best of us.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on November 19, 2003 11:59 AM

at least you woke up..thats the important thing! My gran always said its better to laugh than cry.

Posted by: Chaos on November 19, 2003 12:05 PM

If it comes down to it and it's not ready for ya (dry) when you're ready for bed, ya could flip the mattress.
And, let fly with the Febreze.

Posted by: Stevie on November 19, 2003 12:25 PM

Well I lost my heart and I'm real shallow, so
ha , ha ha, ha................................

What were you dreaming about?

Posted by: ken on November 19, 2003 12:33 PM

That IS funny! The human brain is an amazing thing, even when asleep. I've had dreams where I was looking for a bathroom and the only one I could find was a toilet in front of a set of bleachers full of people. I had to pee so bad but I didn't want to go in front of all those spectators.
If I had dreamed that I did go in front of them, I'm certain I would have pissed the bed myself. Luckily, I woke up that instant and ran like hell to the bathroom.

You're not alone, Mr. Rob. I'm sure there will come a day when I won't wake up from my bathroom dream and then I'll blog about pissing my own bed!

Posted by: DeAnna on November 19, 2003 01:17 PM

TMI!

Posted by: Lisa on November 19, 2003 01:37 PM

Look dude, let me know when you reach the point that you pee your pants every time you sneeze. Then we can talk.

Posted by: wanda on November 19, 2003 01:47 PM

I had a dream that I got up to take a piss, then woke up in a puddle of my own piss. I had to laugh about it (and be thankfull I didn't dream about taking a dump)

Posted by: Graumagus on November 19, 2003 01:52 PM

Hell, that's nothin' A-man...

One time, when I was in college, I drank a whole liter of REALLY cheap vodka. In between bouts of vomiting in my sleep, I got up, walked to the corner of my room, and took a big steamin' shit right in the corner.

Woke up the next morning, felt like I was gonna die, then had to clean up both my bed and the pile 'o' shit in the corner...

Haven't drank cheap vodka since...

Posted by: Guy Montag on November 19, 2003 02:07 PM

Guy, that reminded me of a time when my husband and I went on a road trip from where we live in southeast, to Fairbanks. We had been driving for a couple days, he was tired, and when we got to Fairbanks, we found a bar and he was really pounding down the beers. He was hammered, we went to bed and I woke up a couple hours later to find him gone. I opened up the hotel room door, and there he was about 20 feet away peeing in a corner by another person's room!! I don't know if anyone saw him before I did, but when we checked out the next morning, he didn't remember any of it and the pee spot was still on the carpet. I've never let him forget about that one!

Posted by: Alaska Kim on November 19, 2003 02:24 PM

At the risk of seeming insensitive, I don't care that you peed the bed. I just want to know more about why you got fired.

I want details. You fancy yourself a writer, then dammit, WRITE. I want to know how they justified punishing you for using your First Amendment rights, especially when I couldn't find a thing on your website that indicated the name, location, or anything else about your employer.

Tell us the gory details, Acidman! If you are sure you can't, tell us why!

Posted by: Will Coffman on November 19, 2003 03:10 PM

With all due respect, that is probably best left behind as a part of Rob's prior period, just as he's managing to move on to a different phase. To dig out the past would serve no useful purpose and could do damage.

Posted by: MommaBear on November 19, 2003 03:48 PM

Since we're being honest here, I was a bedwetter until I about hit puberty. It was the most awful thing in the world, and probably affected my personality and self-esteem for life.

The only times I have done it as an adult - since I was maybe 10 - was just a few years ago. I was sleeping on an air mattress on top of a sofa bed, and it was the softest, most comfy, coma-llike sleep-inducing thing I have ever slept on. At the same time, my weight ballooned all out of control, not just in amount, but in the fact that I just felt like a loose, flabby blob. That, not feeling well, and being particularly depressed seemed to come together to make me just let loose a couple times in a period of a week or so.

Disgusting. I made a conscious effort at building muscle control, which I seemed to have lost, after that. I'd have laughed about it if that weren't my deep, dark childhood secret that left me scarred for life.

Posted by: Jay Solo on November 19, 2003 04:41 PM

Amen, to Mommabear.

Posted by: Ms Anna on November 19, 2003 04:47 PM

Okay y'all. 'Nuff with this thread.

Y'all are severely undermining one of my prefered insults;
" .....nuthin' but a buncha bedwettin' liberals! "

Now, just HOW am I gonna be able to keep using THAT with all these Oprah-ish corn-feshins goin on 'round here? Huh?

Sheesh

Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on November 19, 2003 04:55 PM

Listen to MommaBear. As usual, she got ahead of me. And if I may take it one step further, it seems to me that anyone who reads GR regularly knows that you will blog about ANYTHING!! (even bedwetting!) So if you choose to let the job thing go, your readers should let it go and not pry. Just MO.

Posted by: Indigo on November 19, 2003 05:23 PM

I pissed in my in-laws' fireplace one night after a round of spree drinking. Got up off the sleeper sofa, though I was in my house, and put out the embers while my wife watched. Unfortunately the inlaws had already gone to bed.

Posted by: Velociman on November 19, 2003 05:35 PM

Jesus, Velociman!
rotfl

Posted by: Stevie on November 19, 2003 05:57 PM

Bahaha damn Velociman. That's freakin' hilarious.

Posted by: Graumagus on November 20, 2003 08:01 AM
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