Gut Rumbles

November 10, 2003


A lot of people have asked me about the difference between a troll and someone who disagrees with me. Well, I have the perfect example now.

I only call people I respect "Sir". Most cops are facists and don't fall in that category.

Posted by Ralphy at November 10, 2003 12:12 PM

Just read that dumbfuck remark and appreciate it for what it is.

Ralphy is a new troll who tells me in emails that he is going to start a blog one of these days, when he learns how to do it. I am certain that when he "learns how to do it" (if the fucker can't figure out BLOGSPOT, he's fucked), it will be a truly popular blog. He's a semi-literate asshole and PROUD of that fact.

That's the difference between a troll and a contrarian. Read the comments about how to act when a cop pulls you over. I had advice from Mr. Lion telling me to just get a bigger engine and leave the officer in a cloud of dust. I disagree, but I don't consider that comment to be trolling. That's contrarian, and I welcome such comments on my blog.

Not everybody else who commented on that post agreed with me, and some ex-cops had some damned good advice to add to the post. But only ONE flaming asshole came off as being a flaming asshole for the sole purpose of being a flaming asshole. That was YOU, Ralphy.

What is missing from YOUR life to make you act like such a fuckwit?

If you wanted to know, THAT is what makes a troll. And I seem to attract them.

(UPDATE: My, my. What do I see about Ralphy from checking IPs. I should have known)


And I was kidding, too. :)

As a general rule, I don't run from the po-po unless having done something overly silly which is certain to result in a trip to the hoosegow.

Like, say, 180 in a 55.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on November 10, 2003 12:56 PM

Let's dissect Ralphy a bit here, shall we?

He posted:

....."I only call people I respect "Sir". Most cops are facists and don't fall in that category."....

Okay, let's see. Ralphy? Document for us all, if you please, a case-by-case narrative of each and every time you've experienced direct and personal "facism" from your local Officer Friendly?

I'm quite certain that if you COULD document such, you'd have accounted for the career, or careers, of one or several officers, yes?

I'm also sure that such suspensions, fines, administrative penalties, terminations or criminal prosecutions received adequate media coverage? At the very MINIMUM, your Local Gazette had a paragraph of two covering these travesties and abuses.

**** tick, tock...tick, tock...tick, tock ****

What's that I hear? Oh. SILENCE. Figures.

But of course, you did "stand up to the Man", didn't you? I'm sure you got out of your car and spewed invective at Officer Friendly, much like you do to us, here. Right?

Oh. All hat, no cattle. Figures.

Show us the proof of this "facisim", or please, SHUT THE FUCK UP. (was I polite enough, there?)

Personally, I'd PAY TO SEE the video of you "standing up to the Man". Really. Now, I don't know if it'd be featured on "America's Funniest Videos", or a COPS segment on "The World's Dumbest Crooks".

Cause you've gotta be really, REALLY dumb to ignore the very sage advice you've read here from Acidman and his friends.

If I still wore a badge as I did in the early 80s', I'd damn sure lock you up for a violation of Attempted Thinking, with the compound charge of being an Asshole in a No-Asshole Zone.

They'd throw away the key, too.

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on November 10, 2003 01:42 PM

No, Jim. You'll see Ralphy on "Jackass," if he has the balls to show himself at all.

Posted by: Acidman on November 10, 2003 02:51 PM


You GOTTA tell us what you learned from Ralphy's IP address!!! Is it some left-wing, Ivy League school?

Posted by: rivlax on November 10, 2003 03:30 PM

Ralphy had previously infested several sites. One of the ones that I can recall right now is dogsnot. Speak to Geoff on how he dealt with this dolt.

Posted by: Anna on November 10, 2003 05:25 PM

Mm. You're right on the 'bigger engine' thing. A guy I know tried to outrun the police in a Porsche 911 Turbo, and there aren't many cars that would be better for that sort of thing.

He outran the first cop without too much trouble (zoom!). The 4 buddies (+chopper), that Cop #1 called on the radio, well, that turned out a little differently. The first lesson learned was that you can outrun the cop, but his radio works at the speed of light.

Posted by: rosignol on November 10, 2003 05:47 PM

Ralphy's already admitted his sole purpose in life is to be an asshole.

We all gotta have dreams, i guess. Some people are happy as skidmarks.

Posted by: pril on November 10, 2003 06:08 PM

Too many drawbridges around here to outrun the cops. One Motorola call equals one arrest, no matter what size engine you have.

Posted by: Acidman on November 10, 2003 06:43 PM

Ha-ha, you pack of sad sacks simply don't have the right car! If you were driving the Mach Five, like me, you'd simply extend the wings and be outta sight in no time!

Where's my meds and my translation from the Japanese? Aahh-OOhhh!

Speed Racer
Somewhere on the Cartoon Network reruns

Posted by: Roy AlderseBaes on November 10, 2003 08:25 PM

I get the same lines of bullshit over at the Hog Snot Diaries. Truth be told, you people are all like pigs walloring in shit. You found someone new to tool on and point your finger at. Well go ahead, have your fun at my expense cause I could give two shits.

As for my cop statement, I stand by it. I've had several bad run ins with the law since I was a teenager. The first time was just for a open container and a deputy roughed me up pretty bad. And no, I wasn't mouthing off. After that, have I had a chip on my shoulder? You bet I have. I find nothing more reviling than the abuse of power, particuarly the kind we see here in America's Police Forces on a daily basis.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 10, 2003 08:31 PM

I can understand your problems with police officers. With an attitude like you demonstrate here I'm surprised they didn't pull a "Rodney King" on your ass just because.

It's called kharma you fuckin' retard! When you give bad kharma, you get bad kharma.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on November 10, 2003 08:40 PM

You do seem to get a lot of them. What happens when you collect the whole set?

Posted by: Wichi Dude on November 10, 2003 08:57 PM


I have a sincere, honest, well-meaning and no bullshit challenge for you.

Sign up for your local jurisdiction's "ride-along" program. See it from the other side.

If you don't have balls to DO that, then you lack the moral integrity to whine, cry, whimper and carry on about "they done ya wrong" stuff.

Face it. LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND FACE IT. Your experience may not have been perfectly just. However, maybe, just MAYBE the "BAD NASTY COP" was trying to do you a FAVOR.

Pity, he didn't know that it's impossible to smack ANY kind of sense into you. He SHOULD have put you "in the system", and let "justice" completely fuck up your life with a little thing called a "Criminal Record".

So, some Curbside Couseling was lost on you. Whine, cry, whimper. But, it has, and does work on many more kids who get the message and somehow manage to pull their heads outta their asses.

But to the challenge. I really, really mean it. And, I'd respect the all hell outta you for giving it a shot. Regardless as to whether the experience changes your outlook one iota.

Life's a lot like the blogs. You CHOOSE to be a citizen, or just a troll. You can try to convince YOURSELF that one is the same as another.

We're not fooled though, and we DO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Good luck to you on the challenge. I'll look forward to your having the manhood to accept it, too.


Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

ps. You take the challenge, and PROVE that you did, and rode. I'll send you a bottle of the good stuff in appreciaton for your effort. Again, regardless of any change in your outlook.

I WILL PUT my money where my font is.

Posted by: Jim on November 10, 2003 09:07 PM

It's truly sad to see people like Ralph do have such a chip on their shoulder.

I started hooning around in cars, doing the pub crawls, the jazz scene, the wild parties etc. around 40 years ago.

I've had plenty of contact with the cops over the years, including heaps when I was a punk kid driving a hotted up car.

My clashes with the fuzz? None. Zero. Zilch.

Why? Because I was always polite, even if I thought the particular cop was a bit of a prick (not often, but it happened).

If you LOOK like you want trouble, believe me you'll attract it. If you just chill out a bit and actually believe cops are - think it or not - human too, you'll seldom have a problem.

Yup, I guess there are cops who're real arseholes; in 40 years I've yet to meet one however.

Maybe I'm just lucky, or maybe it's just my attitude.

Posted by: James Riley on November 10, 2003 09:59 PM

"Sign up for your local jurisdiction's "ride-along" program. See it from the other side."
I did a few week-ends in the mid-70's as part of my accident investigation training. Friday and Saturday nights. Ride in the cop's back seat, watch them collar drunk drivers, while waiting for "the call" so you could get there before the blood congeals. Then return the next day to "investigate and determine causes".
EVERY county deputy I rode with was a PRO.
EVERY one gave polite people at least a little break.

Posted by: Dan Pursel on November 10, 2003 10:05 PM

So you're telling me that police brutality is a figment of my imagination? I don't think so.

My challenge to you Jim, is too type that in google and see the endless artices on police abusing their powers.

Are all cops bad cops? Hell no. But they have more than their share. As we all know the adage, all it takes is one wrong to erase ten rights.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 10, 2003 10:35 PM

"ps. You take the challenge, and PROVE that you did, and rode. I'll send you a bottle of the good stuff in appreciaton for your effort. Again, regardless of any change in your outlook."

I hope you're good on your word, cause I just might take you up on this.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 10, 2003 10:37 PM


Name your poison. I'll send it to Acidman IN ADVANCE.

If you prove the ride, you get the bottle.

If you wuss-out, HE GETS THE BOTTLE.

The least I can do for him hosting this site.

And Ralphy? An addendum to the challenge, I'll have no way to verify, but maybe you'll have the balls to step up to, regardless.

Ask the Officer you ride with EVERY DAMN QUESTION and make EVERY DAMN ACCUSATION to him/her, that you've done here.

That'll spice up your ride, I imagine?

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on November 10, 2003 10:48 PM

And Ralphy,

Google, shmoogle. The real stats on police infractions are in the FBI Standardized Crime Statistics.

The FBI is the legal entity which investigates and prosecutes all cases of Police Brutality, Official Oppression, Civil Rights violations, etc.

The google tripe is just web-hits on wild-eyed accusations, overblown media hype and the like. If it's not OFFICIAL, it doesn't COUNT.

Run along and be a good little researcher, now.

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on November 10, 2003 10:52 PM

How quick you are to change the terms of the challenge Jim.


Posted by: Ralphy on November 10, 2003 11:10 PM

"So you're telling me that police brutality is a figment of my imagination?"

BTW - You dodged the question well.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 10, 2003 11:11 PM

'A black teenager pedalling rapidly is fleeing crime. A white teenager pedalling at the same speed is feeling the freedom of youth'

National Association for the Advancement of Colored People commenting on the case of a black teenager shot by police after falling off his bicycle in Indianapolis, Indiana, March 1993

Posted by: Ralphy on November 10, 2003 11:15 PM

Ralphy Ralphy Ralphy

You are a wimp. Go on the fucking ride. Go back and read what I wrote:

......"And Ralphy? An addendum to the challenge, I'll have no way to verify, but maybe you'll have the balls to step up to, regardless.

Ask the Officer you ride with EVERY DAMN QUESTION and make EVERY DAMN ACCUSATION to him/her, that you've done here.".......

I can ask you to PROVE you went on the ride. I made it very clear I can't have you PROVE you asked said questions.

So, don't FUCKING WIMP OUT behind your ACLU tainted mindset that I "changed the terms".

You ball-less fuck.

My offer still stands. I doubt you've the fucking backbone to take it, though. You're already weaseling for any and every excuse to NOT go that you can grasp in your slimy, cum laden hands. I shit on you.

Police Brutality, is not a figment of your imagination. Pity though, it's not a reality of your physical universe. That said, OF COURSE, you MORON. There's bad cops out there.

There's also incompetent doctors, too. I'll bet you a SECOND BOTTLE there's more deaths due to medical malpractice than ANY FORM of "police brutality".

Google that, fuckface.

You've proven your cowardace by your very response. I'm still sending A BOTTLE to Acidman, regardless. I'M KEEPING MY WORD.

You're such a Bloodless Cunt of a dickless excuce for a man, you can't even accept the challenge without whining about "legalities" therein.

An Octopus has more backbone than you.

You fucking disgust me, and I despise you, and the likes of you.

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on November 10, 2003 11:28 PM

Bravo Jim!

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 10, 2003 11:43 PM

Ralphy. It's spelled "wallowing." But I guess I shouldn't be surprised that some JD loser can't spell worth shit.

Posted by: Andrea Harris on November 11, 2003 06:09 AM

Boy, take a couple of days off and you miss everything.

So, is Ralphy a new troll? Or one of the many faces of Beth?

And why is it so difficult to understand that politeness and honesty usually work when dealing with the police?

Oh, and Jim -- you need a blog. You have the style and attitude.

Posted by: Anne on November 11, 2003 06:59 AM

You're not a smart man, that much I gather. I guess the propane business is hurting. Send the bottle to Acidman and I'll take the challenge. AND yes, you DID in fact change the rules. Go back and read the thread. Initially you challenged me to go ride with a cop. Then your next post told me that not only will I have to ride with a cop but I will have to repeat all the things I said on here.

Despite YOUR changes, I will still accept the challenge with YOUR amendum to the initial challenge. NOW here's MY change - make it a bottle of Wild Turkey. That's my drink.

So I have already printed the thread to not only tell the cop what I said but to allow him to read it. I will bring a digital camera. What other Proof will you need? MY other change, upon receiving such proof that you deem honest, is that you will let everyone know on this blog that you're attack on my integrity and balls, was unwarranted.

As for the ball less quips and other personal attacks YOU initiated at me - are you prepared to eat your word? Cause after I polish off the bottle (in Galveston) I have only two things on my mind - fucking and fighting. Seeing the women in Galveston make cattle look good, plan on an ass whooping you've never known. That bottle of Wild Turkey is gonna get shoved up your ass.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 11, 2003 09:42 AM

Ralphy, you stupid fucking piece of shit, if you weren't suck a fucking moron those attacks wouldn't have happened. Just because it's your life's goal to be as worthless and parasitic as possible doesn't mean that we have to respect you for it.

And hell, I'LL attack your integrity and your balls, because YOU DON'T HAVE ANY! You've shown that you're nothing but a spineless fucking blowhard from day one, and you're too much of a fucking shit-sucker to deal with that fact. You're a fucking troll. You make a syphallitic whore look like Mother Theresa, and you make a crank-snorting baboon look like Albert Einstein when compared to you! You're all talk and no walk. You're the sizzle without the steak. You're a worthless, pathetic, weak, mindless coward, and you're just pissed off because you can't take what you dish out. So fuck you, troll. Fuck you, fuck your whore of a mother, and fuck the father you never knew because he didn't pay for the first time.

Don't like that? Too fucking bad. Grow a fucking brain and maybe I'll stop treating you like the shit-filled moron that you are.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 11, 2003 11:38 AM


The bottle will be sent to Acidman today, tomorrow at the latest, depending on logistics. 750 ml. too. NOT a mere flask.

I admire you for taking the challenge. Seriously. Just QUIT sniveling, and learn the nuance which seperates "addendum" from "change".

And yes, digital pics of the ride will be good, perhaps also take pics of the paperwork from the ride and/or certificate of participation. Every department's paperwork varies, but I trust you'll know what to note.

Hell, if you provide proof of the conversations with the officer, I'll even throw in a Cuban Cohiba Esplendido cigar. Maybe that'll shup'cha up 'bout that "addendum". LOL

Hell, I figure if I raise the stakes, I oughta raise the payoff, yes?

And, I can even grin at your "king of the hilll" attempts at humor.

I can grin too, at your crack about my intellegence. In fact, you can pretty much throw insult after insult my way. I just consider the source and go on from there.

Come to Galveston at your own risk, though.

Consider this; I served under the badge for several years myself, and had plenty of fun taking down smartmouths just like you. As often as required, too. You've already confessed to taking some serioius ass-whippings from cops before, what makes you think this time would be any different?

And, having both integrity and balls, I've no problem standing behind my aspersions regarding yours, or the lack thereof. THAT SAID, i'm EQUALLY willing to offer my salute to you when your ACTIONS match your words, and you come back with pics from the ride. In fact, I'll even apologize to you and will do so on this very site.

Until then, you're still just a troll throwing words on a screen.

I will offer you a different option though. You prove you've GOT the cojones to follow through on the challenge, and you'll go a long way to changing not only mine, but many peoples' impression of you here.

Not that you give a damn, nor really, should you. But, it's still a fact, you'd rise above mere trolldom, for sure.

That being the case, I'd show you the respect you'll earn, and think it'd be far more honorable on BOTH our parts to hoist pints and burn cigars out on the town.

I'm sure we'll never be friends, and may remain enemies forever, but there's enemies I despise, and enemies I respect. You can choose, and will, by your actions.

Choose wisely.

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on November 11, 2003 11:45 AM

Go reread any given one of your comments to me and ask yourself who really is the "shit filled moron".

I'm going to the Blogger Poll and nominate you as Drama Queen. Get a hold of your emotions man.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 11, 2003 12:24 PM

You're on Jim.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 11, 2003 12:27 PM

What's the matter, Ralphy? No fun when people toss your shit right back at you?

Too fucking bad. Either grow a brain or deal with it.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 11, 2003 12:33 PM

What the hell are you talking about now Dave? Please make a point when you post. YOU, not me, are the true ipitomy of a troll. The majority of your posts are simply insults. Mine are simply offensive - but I make a point at least.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 11, 2003 12:58 PM

I'm here to insult you, fuckwit. I don't have a bone to pick with Acidman, or with what he posts. But damn, it's be nice to read him without some idiotic turd like you shitting in the threads every ten minutes.

The reasons my posts are all insuts is because they're all directed at YOU! I've seen you here and on other blogs, and all you do is act like a fuckwit. And since you've decided to come on over to my blog and act like a fuckwit, I think I have enough evidence to say "Yes, Ralphy is indeed a wothless fuckwit". The difference is that if Acidman asks me to stop being an asshole, I will. You, on the other hand, can't STOP being one. So go fuck yourself. I enjoy tossing your shit back at you, and I enjoy insulting you. I'll do it for as long as I can, just because it's fun! I laugh my ass off hearing you brag about shit you supposedly did, because you and I both know you can't back it up! They're all hollow words, you fucking ass-cannon!

If I wanted to debate a point, I would. But as I've said before, I'm here just to insult you. And believe me, I'm enjoying it.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 11, 2003 01:08 PM

Ralphy get a fucking spellchecker, you ignorant shit.

It's "epitome" you dumbfuck. And the only "point" you ever made is on the top of your head.

Posted by: Acidman on November 11, 2003 04:15 PM

You need some bedrest I think.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 11, 2003 07:16 PM

As for your feeble attempts to insult me Dave, you've failed. Somehow I am willing to bet your a failure at most of what you attempt in life.

But keep trying!

Posted by: Ralphy on November 11, 2003 07:23 PM

"Ralphy", you do most of work all by your little self. You're a fucking joke! A lair, a fraud, and a troll. If you're so non-plussed, then why the hell did you bother coming to my blog and starting your shit? Because I DID hit you where it hurt.

You're pathetic. A mindless, cowardly drone.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 11, 2003 09:19 PM

Good grief,
Will the "Raging Dunce" ever say anything of substance?

Posted by: Ralphy on November 11, 2003 10:05 PM

C'mon, "Ralphy". Don't you have anything better than that, you gutless, pathetic coward?

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 12, 2003 09:50 AM

Hey, send the bottle to hold for Ralphy to my house. Make it Chivas, too. He's never followed through with any of the crap he spewed on my site, so I know I'll end up drinking that nectar.

Posted by: Geoffrey on November 12, 2003 02:54 PM

Raging Dunce,
Looks like Hog Snot Diaries has come to your aid. I like you're logic though. I'll prove that Ralphy is an asshole by acting like a bigger one. But only until Acidman tells me to stop because I can't think for myself. The way you suck up to Acidman reminds of the Bugs Bunny cartoon with that little dog that jumps around Spike the Bulldog. "Hey spike, wanna go get a cat? Huh Spike? What do you say Spike?"

Posted by: Ralphy on November 12, 2003 03:18 PM

That's funny. What a coincidence. I relate you to a television character, too. Ever see Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?

Guess which one.

Posted by: Geoffrey on November 12, 2003 03:30 PM

Poor lil shithead "Ralphy". Got called on your bullshit and now you can't even be creative about your trolling. I noticed that you were reduced to cut-and-paste on my blog. Wow, what stunning wit. If you were any dumber you would forget how to breath, you little fucknozzle.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 12, 2003 03:56 PM

"Shithead" & "Fucknozzle."

Real witty. I used those words often too.

Back in junior high.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 12, 2003 04:50 PM

Better than being a pathetic fuckwit who can only cut-and-paste on other people's blogs, you stupid piece of shit. Bravo. You've shown just what a fucking useless waste of skin you are.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 12, 2003 05:54 PM

"Fuckwit", "Stupid piece of shit", "Fucking"....

Keep making an ass of yourself Raging Dunce. I'm laughing all the way to the bank simpleton.

"Stupid pice of shit". You're killing me. I've seen better wit on bathroom stalls.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 12, 2003 10:25 PM

And unfortunately, you can't seem to come up with anything half as original, as shown by your cut-and-paste jobs.

That's pretty fucking sad, "Ralphy" And yes, I DID start hunting you down. Don't like that? Then don't make statements to the effect of "I'm going to be an asshole". Trolling under different names is also pretty pathetic.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 13, 2003 11:19 AM

You know Dave, I cut and pasted on your blog because it irritates you and it shows. It's almost as annoying as watching you waste bandwidth on your quest to have the last word. What's ironic, is every comment made be you is almost the same as the one before, and the one before, and the one before. Like a parrot that only knows a few saying you just keep piping on. How ironic that you don't have to cut and paste, but sound like you do!

Feel free to hunt me down, I dare venture to guess that have nothing better to do. Are you even employed? I'd love to see you come strolling down my sidewalk to knock on my door. Just remember, you're gonna look awful funny eating corn on the cob, with no fucking teeth. YOU can take that to the bank.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on November 13, 2003 02:36 PM

Oooo, physical threats! Bravo, idiot. You cut-and-paste because you're too fucking stupid to do anything else. And all your threats don't mean shit, "Ralphy". You don't know where I live, and vice-versa. They're empty words from a childish little shit who knows he's been well and truly bitchslapped.

You want to cuss at me, "Ralphy"? You want to express your stunted emotions to the world? Get yourself a blog. It's real simple. There's a button at the bottom of my page that says "Blogger". Click it and go from there. Hell, I know you'll be back, so you might as well do something productive while you're there.

At least then when I track your ass down and ridicule you, you can simply ban my ass, instead of spamming entire threads of people who aren't me.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 13, 2003 03:24 PM

You want some cheese with that whine?

Posted by: "Ralphy" on November 13, 2003 11:33 PM

Do you ever read what you write Raging Dunce? You theatened to "hunt me down" and then accuse me of threatening you first. Damn, you're stupid aren't you?

I'll explain it again. I wish you success on your "hunt". It would delight me to see you at my front door. Just bring a few friends to carry you off after.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on November 13, 2003 11:37 PM

Obviously you're too stupid to differentiate between a blog and real life. Maybe that's why you're so damn pathetic, "Ralphy". And you still don't get it. Let me spell it out for you. I'll even type really slow so that you can read it.

The. Troll. Has. Been. Trolled.

Enjoy, you pathetic little fuckwit. I know that you'll be back on my site, sniveling and crying, so this is hardly the last time I'll see you. I had you dancing to MY tune, "Ralphy". The only other thing I could have done would be shouting "Dance, Ralphy! Dance!" How does it feel, "Ralphy"?

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 14, 2003 11:19 AM


Posted by: "Ralphy" on November 14, 2003 02:56 PM
Post a comment