Gut Rumbles
 

November 09, 2003

my mama

mama.JPG

That's my bald-headed, 72 year-old mama.

I took the boys over to visit today and I brought a bucket of fried chicken and fixings with me. We ate on the back porch, then the boys ran off to play on the monkeybars over at Hesse Elementary School. Monkeybars are PERFECT for those two monkeys, so I let them run wild. Mom and I talked for a while.

She's doing well with the chemo and the doctors are optomistic about her prognosis. She's come a long way from some quack telling her to make hospice arrangements six months ago. My mama is tough.

I told her today that she looks just like Papaw with that bald head. She laughed and said, "That's exactly what I thought when I looked in the mirror! I look just like my daddy!" Those treatments are not easy, but they seem to be doing what they are supposed to do and Mom can still laugh about it.

My 92 year-old grandmother came over from next door and joined the conversation. My grandmother is old and frail, but she's still sharp as a tack upstairs. She and Mom started telling me Old Widow-Woman stories, one of which is going into my novel.

My grandmother went outside one day and found a dead cat in her back yard. It was lying there in the grass with it's eyes half-open while flies buzzed around it. Mommie called my mother to come over with a shovel and bury that cat.

Mom came over, dug a hole, and tried to scoop the cat up off the ground with the shovel. When she did, the cat sat up and screeched.

That scared the shit out of both women, and my grandmother screamed, "Kill it! Kill it!" My mama beat the shit out of that cat with the shovel. The cat finally stopped screeching. Then, they stood there together and wondered... what did we just do?

My grandmother finally broke the stunned silence by saying, "Well, it's a dead cat now, for sure. Go ahead and put it in that hole and cover it up. I think it was sick anyway."

PETA and cat-lovers might not appreciate that story, but I almost fell out of my chair laughing about it.

I'll never play dead in their yards.


Comments

Holy shit - that is so damn funny! The poor damn cat.

Posted by: Kate on November 9, 2003 06:45 PM

That is hilarous.

Glad to know your Mom is doing well.

Posted by: Juliette on November 9, 2003 06:54 PM

Why do I always misspell stuff here? ;-)

Posted by: Juliette on November 9, 2003 06:55 PM

Acidman makes people nervous, Juliette! ;) Mom looks very good, A-Man. Glad you got to spend the time with her.

Posted by: Indigo on November 9, 2003 07:05 PM

ROFL! That's hysterical!

Posted by: Chablis on November 9, 2003 07:06 PM

Rob,

I lost my mom in '78. She was 54, I was but 19, and had to handle EVERYthing. Funeral, estate, bills, the works.

Hug yours for ME, sir. I'll feel it.

'preciate it.

Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on November 9, 2003 10:01 PM

Your Mom looks great! I'm glad she didn't listen to the quack and went ahead with the chemo.

Btw, how about a drink alert before a story like that?, moniters everywhere will thank You! LOL

Posted by: Delftsman3 on November 9, 2003 11:44 PM

I am a cat lover and I wouldn't have done anything differently. Dead things should remain dead for goodness sake.

Posted by: Dawn on November 10, 2003 08:29 AM

Thought you might enjoy this link: cat bowling

Posted by: cavedweller on November 10, 2003 10:02 AM

I just tried that Cat Bowling game. Never bowled worse in my life (107). Couldn't put my left toe on the 4th arrow from the right, Couldn't put my spinning, rolling 12 lb. punkin over the second arrow from the right to curve at the right time to smack that 1-3 cat pocket just right to drive that punkin through the 5-cat to get more than 2 strikes.

Cavedweller, thanks anyway.

Posted by: Ms Anna on November 10, 2003 11:46 AM

You almost got me fired over that story. I was laughing so hard here at work when I read it.
My coworkers wanted to know what the hell I was laughing at. Thanks for the laugh. I was having a tough day till I read it.
Thanks Dan

Posted by: Dan on November 10, 2003 12:20 PM

Thanks for the laugh this morning! That was too funny!

Posted by: Jeffinna (jennifer) on November 11, 2003 10:28 AM

I usually read gut rumbles during lunch, so here I am reading and eating a sandwich. This story was so hilarious I almost choked! "Well, it's a dead cat NOW." LOL!!

Posted by: Alaska Kim on November 12, 2003 04:01 PM
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