Gut Rumbles

November 05, 2003

a confession

Do you remember that cop I talked about in Oliver, Georgia? The one lurking with the radar gun behind the gas station? Well, he caught Recondo 32 on our way TO Blood Mountain.

I had about two fingers left in a bottle of vodka when I was packed and ready to go, and I worried that it might spoil while I was gone. So, I drank it with a Mountain Dew before I drove to South Carolina. I had a pretty good buzz when I got to Recondo's house. "Why don't you drive," I suggested, as I tossed him my keys. "I had a nip this morning."

"Yeah. THAT surprises me," he said. He took the keys and off we went.

I've been to Key West several times with Recondo, and I've never known him to have a wreck. But he DOES NOT pay attention to speed limit signs the way he should. He likes to look at YOU when he talks instead of looking at the road. He was holding court about something pontifical as we shot through the crossroads at Oliver going 57 miles per hour in that fucked-up 35 MPH speed zone. Officer Opie roared out from behind the gas station in hot pursuit and pulled us over.

The speeding ticket was well-deserved, but we ALSO got one for having an expired license sticker on my rear plate. I looked, and sure enough, Officer Opie was correct. My sticker expired in February of 2003. I KNEW that I paid the taxes and affixed the yellow sticker to my plate back in February, but it wasn't there right then. Officer Opie was polite about the matter and said that we had a month to take care of the legal business, so we continued on our trip.

Today, I dug out my registration, the cancelled check for the taxes and I rode down to the tag office. Sure enough, I am legitimate. But I now have to go the the Effingham County Sheriff's Office, file a "Missing or Lost Tag" piece of paperwork, get a receipt, then go BACK to the tag office and pay $8.00 for my missing sticker. THEN, I have to drive all the way to Oliver to get the charge against me dropped.

I went to a Huddle House in Springfield to eat breakfast. Rain started to fall while I was there. I thought, "What the fuck? I've got a month to get this job done." So, I drove back home with all the paperwork in hand. I watched CNN and Fox News. I took off my pants to let Roscoe breathe and blogged an entry or two. At noon, I opened a bottle of wine I bought in Dahlonega.

I may go see the sheriff tomorrow. Or I may not.

Being a man of leasure has its advantages.


Make sure to jump through all the hoops they put up.

I was pulled over in March '01 for having a tag about eight months overdue. The cop said he usually took away cars with tags more than six months out of date, but he let me go since the car was registered in my dad's name (I was 17 at the time). He said he'd take care of everything, so I didn't worry about it. As I found out later that summer, though, he only did the DMV part of it and forgot to pay the ticket. I got a failure to appear in court, which meant my license was automatically suspended, but I had no idea. So when I was pulled over going 85 in Laurens County on I-16 -- with two other licensed drivers in the car -- the cop called in my license to the station, found out it was suspended and arrested me. It was actually pretty fun, but not something I'd want to repeat. Anyway...

Posted by: Skip Perry on November 5, 2003 02:24 PM

When you stick the sticker on your number plate, be sure to score an "X" all the way through it so no one can peel it off in one piece while it's still 'fresh.'
May be a bit of paranoia on my part but I've done it forever and never had one go walkies on me.

Posted by: Ric on November 5, 2003 06:06 PM

Rob - Are you not working anymore? I have read your entries but can't figure out if you are retired or on vacation?

Posted by: Kim on November 5, 2003 07:12 PM

I can't figure it out either, Kim.

Posted by: Acidman on November 5, 2003 08:47 PM

A nip, my ass. You fell out of the truck. I can understand why you're not worried about getting the tickets straight since I got both of them. There I was working my silver tounged magic in an attmept to get out of the tickets and your'e fighting with the officer over whether you paid your taxes or not.

Bite me


Posted by: recondo32 on November 6, 2003 12:13 PM
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